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View Poll Results: What do you think about life-long monogamy?
I'm a man, and it's a Good Thing. 19 29.23%
I'm a man, and it's nuts. 9 13.85%
I'm a man, and I don't see an easy way out. 8 12.31%
I'm a woman, and it's a Good Thing. 16 24.62%
I'm a woman, and it's nuts. 3 4.62%
I'm a woman, and I don't see an easy way out. 2 3.08%
I'm a man, so I have to ask my wife about this. 8 12.31%
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll

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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 11:36 AM   #41
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Trust is something that's very hard to fix once it's broken, I could never do that, tried but my memory wouldn't let me.
Perhaps, but i bet you could learn to live without it if there were enough other good reasons to do so.

Women talk tough ("I'd leave him in a second if....") until they actually have the decision before them.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 11:39 AM   #42
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
I doubt you're even in my league, by any measure (pick one).
How about Jerkiness? Yep, you're a bigger jerk than I am.

Wow...you're right!


Uh oh...how about early retirement.

Nope, you're not retired.

How about portfolio size?

Nope, beat you there too.

Married to a mighty fine woman?

Nope, got you there.

Beautiful children?

Uh oh. Its getting worse.

Bet I also have more dogs and cats than you do. And a nicer car. And I wear size 13 shoes...bet your feet arent that big.

Wow...open the floodgates a crack and the water really starts pouring...



By the way, I could give a rats ass about you, but since you pulled the jerk routine on Charlie out of nowhere, and Charlies investing advice made me an extra $7000 last year, I figured I'd give you a little piece of the action. Given your massive lack of social skills, its just too easy to pass by.

Jerk on...or jerk...err....nevermind.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 11:43 AM   #43
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
Women talk tough ("I'd leave him in a second if....") until they actually have the decision before them.
Well I'm as tough as my talk, I walked and didn't look back, no second chances, he knew the rules and decided they didn't apply to him. If I'm going to play by the rules so is the man I'm with... end of story.

Oh and it put me in a financial bind but that was something I could fix.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 11:56 AM   #44
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
How about Jerkiness? *Yep, you're a bigger jerk than I am.

Wow...you're right!
I had a detailed answer for this, until i reread it in preview and realized just how much information was there about me that I dont really want out.* *In short, maybe go back and read your posts and consider that maybe you are a jerk too.

As for the comparisons?* (looking at the response I deleted), you only had me beat on the pets and probably the car.

Azanon
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 11:58 AM   #45
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

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Well I'm as tough as my talk, I walked and didn't look back, no second chances, he knew the rules and decided they didn't apply to him.* If I'm going to play by the rules so is the man I'm with... end of story.

Oh and it put me in a financial bind but that was something I could fix.
But I hope you did consider everything else, and not just turn a blind eye/mind to all the other things that made him a total person.* *If you're looking for a "perfect" person in all areas (including morals), i'm under the belief that one doesn't exist.* Marriages that last a real long time are about give and take, and forgiveness.....* not perfection.

Quote:
Well I'm as tough as my talk, I walked and didn't look back, no second chances, he knew the rules and decided they didn't apply to him. If I'm going to play by the rules so is the man I'm with... end of story.
Its also possibly you took something personally that wasn't personal. A lot of men just have this animal need where actual thinking just doesn't enter the picture. He could love you 100% and still do this, because he is a man.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:09 PM   #46
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
I had a detailed answer for this, until i reread it in preview and realized just how much information was there about me that I dont really want out. In short, maybe go back and read your posts and consider that maybe you are a jerk too.

As for the comparisons? (looking at the response I deleted), you only had me beat on the pets and probably the car.

Azanon
Then your past posts are either lies, or this one is.

And sorry pal you piled on a nice helpful guy that never said or did a thing to you, no value in it for you whatsoever whatsoever. That makes you a jerk.

I always have an intention. I'm an asshole.

But you have a nice life now.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:14 PM   #47
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

I didn't ask for perfection and he was far from perfect, I could deal with that and I know I'm in no way perfect. * *But if you ask me to be faithful I expect the same in return, he didn't feel that way... the rule applied to me but not him. *Sorry, that was a deal *breaker for me, nothing I abhor more than a liar and a cheater. *

Oh wait, nothing I abhor more than a liar and a cheater that accuses me of it to make himself feel better.

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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:18 PM   #48
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Outtahere
I didn't ask for perfection and he was far from perfect, I could deal with that and I know I'm in no way perfect. * *But if you ask me to be faithful I expect the same in return, he didn't feel that way... the rule applied to me but not him. *Sorry, that was a deal *breaker for me, nothing I abhor more than a liar and a cheater. *

Oh wait, nothing I abhor more than a liar and a cheater that accuses me of it to make himself feel better.

Keep in mind that you are talking about a guy who intends to pimp his wife out from beyound the grave. :
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:23 PM   #49
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

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Then your past posts are either lies, or this one is.

And sorry pal you piled on a nice helpful guy that never said or did a thing to you, no value in it for you whatsoever whatsoever. *That makes you a jerk.

I always have an intention. *I'm an asshole.

But you have a nice life now.
I dont recall posting a shot of myself, my wife, my child, my car, my house, my MA degree, my quicken homepage or my GS12 SF-50. *But if i did, i'm sure you'd be compelled to be impressed. *So I take it you went to Harvard and have a Ph.D in something? *

If you're an admitted asshole, then WTH are you giving me a hard time for being a "jerk". *I know this word didn't come out until maybe 5th grade, but are you familiar with what synonyms are?

Quote:
And sorry pal you piled on a nice helpful guy that never said or did a thing to you, no value in it for you whatsoever whatsoever.
I responded in-kind and with a measured response. *If he cant handle the heat, then he needs to refrain from rebutting my comments. * I noticed the cat has got his tongue every since.

I'll continue to have a nice life!
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:31 PM   #50
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

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Oh wait, nothing I abhor more than a liar and a cheater that accuses me of it to make himself feel better.
Ahh, that's where he went wrong!

Guys, lets review:
1.* Yes dear (nod affirmative in the pauses)
2.* I was wrong, you are right
3.* I'm sorry

haha, just kidding, dont get mad, but actually I sort of am not kidding.* Adultry really is "wrong" no matter how you look at it.* *He can claim you drove him to it, and perhaps it is possible that some forms of neglict might have planted some seeds for that, but that is still no excuse.* Its no excuse because there are other fair ways "to her" for him to address a problem like that that should be completely exhausted before going the divorce/adultry route.

Yes, i'll have to agree that if i not only did it, but blamed my wife, she'd probably leave me too, and that's despite a relatively impressive everything else about me.* Being who I am, i didn't exactly marry a nobody, so of course a woman like my wife is going to draw the line somewhere.* Being blamed for adultry is a BIG ouch!* If it was with your friend, a double OUCH!

(edit) "i didn't exactly marry a nobody" - i dont like the way that sounds. She's great and I probably dont deserve her! She doesn't read here; that's just for my conscience!
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:41 PM   #51
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

If you have a wandering "eye", best to admit to it, and arrange your life thusly.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 01:15 PM   #52
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

He wasn't saying I drove him to it, he was always accusing me of the things he was doing. I'm guessing because he was doing it he figured I was too and would accuse me of it just in case.

Just to let you know what a leach he was, when I finally threw him out he had a 4 year old son and a month later had a daughter with the same girl. We were together for 9 years, you do the math. I figured they deserved each other.

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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 01:25 PM   #53
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
I guess this is a problem, when the sum total of cheating + everything else = best move is divorce/leaving the person.* * I think the trick is to be so valuable, that nothing would change even in a worse case scenario.* *

The people that need to worry about cheating are those that are already "on the bubble" in the first place (bad job, average or worse looks/health, treats spouse bad, doesnt do chores, etc etc.).* *
Azanon: *All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.

(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;

If you don't get back to work, and insist on spending the tax-payers money by spending your time on this board posting immature and
childish posts, I'm going to pm Ha.

He knows where you work.

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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 01:33 PM   #54
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ESRBob
Actually, I am guessing that monogamy is the low-budget option -- the people I know on their second and third wives are still working and shockingly asset-poor given their income levels.

So ERs can hoist the flag of monogamy as being good for the wallet and good for you,
I am one of those "on" my third wife (pun intended). *Lost one to divorce and one to death. *The divorce cost me a lot but it also gave me a new start which caused me to be FI. *Second wife was of similar financial mindset so we made a lot but saved a lot too. *Current wife is in learning-mode on what it takes to be FI and stay that way. *

Divorce can wipe you out. *I can't imagine going through alimony and child support again along with loss of half my retirement and more than half of the house equity and splitting up everything down to the Christmas decorations and family photos. *Current wife was the bread winner in her previous marriages so she is very happy to be married to someone who actually has a couple of bucks in the bank and brings home a check (and some flowers) every once in a while. *

Happiness is the result of being dedicated to a single partner for life. *Maybe this time I will actually get a chance to see if that happens or not.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:09 PM   #55
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

The very best wishes to you both this time around, Steve! Sounds like you're due for a few lucky breaks.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:11 PM   #56
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Azanon: *All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.
What did any of that have to do with social skills? *Your youngest brother is the one with the divorce and I have it all. *Who lacks the skills? *I'm guessing the apple didnt fall far from the tree either.

Quote:
(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;
If you said any of this to my face, you'd be the only one walking away with a broken nose, old man. *I hope when my time has passed too, i'm smart enough not to piss off strong, 30 somethings.

Quote:
If you don't get back to work, and insist on spending the tax-payers money by spending your time on this board posting immature and
childish posts, I'm going to pm Ha.
I'm at work today? *I could have swore I took off.

Quote:
He knows where you work.
What's he going to report, I look and post on the internet? *Reality to Jarhead.... so does everyone else with an internet connection at work.

I get 2, legal 15 minute breaks a day AND a lunch. *I dont smoke, dips***.
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:13 PM   #57
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Inserting generic moderator comment about everybody playing nice.... here!
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:13 PM   #58
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarhead*
Azanon: All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.

(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;
I just get a kick out of the fact that he's defending his interaction with Charlie and apparently doesnt even remember what he did. Charlie posted that he was going to take a breather from the forum because he didnt care for the politics and religion. Dipstick here posted that he didnt think those topics were every really discussed, but charlie was apparently someone who was thin-skinned, so he could go suck it. Charlie said and did nothing to him.

Further, I love his touting items such as his education. Remember the post I put up showing that college graduates were getting degrees with lousy basic skills, and his reply saying he didnt think it was true...full of spelling and grammatical errors?

Apparently someone very low on self esteem that needs to tell a lot of anonymous internet people how terrific he thinks he is. But we better watch out...he's an internet tough guy and might beat us all up!

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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:17 PM   #59
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

The thing about cheating is, after it happens once and a relationship isn't over, where's the incentive not to do it again?

As far as azanon, you all know who and what he is, and I don't think he's being nominated by anybody as early-retirement.org's award for anything.

(Yeah, I know, easy for me to say, and I've been a wonderful example with similar disruptors in the past. )
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?
Old 03-02-2006, 02:21 PM   #60
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Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
What did any of that have to do with social skills? Your youngest brother is the one with the divorce and I have it all. Who lacks the skills? I'm guessing the apple didnt fall far from the tree either.

If you said any of this to my face, you'd be the only one walking away with a broken nose, old man. I hope when my time has passed too, i'm smart enough not to piss off strong, 30 somethings.

I'm at work today? I could have swore I took off.

What's he going to report, I look and post on the internet? Reality to Jarhead.... so does everyone else with an internet connection at work.

I get 2, legal 15 minute breaks a day AND a lunch. I dont smoke, dips***.
What a JERK!

Nice to see that older folks who have served their country well in the military gets this level of respect from such "impressive" younger people.

Wow. This troll takes care of itself!
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