Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

[HFWR]

If you have a wandering "eye", best to admit to it, and arrange your life thusly.

 

[Outtahere]

He wasn't saying I drove him to it, he was always accusing me of the things he was doing. I'm guessing because he was doing it he figured I was too and would accuse me of it just in case.

Just to let you know what a leach he was, when I finally threw him out he had a 4 year old son and a month later had a daughter with the same girl. We were together for 9 years, you do the math. I figured they deserved each other.

 

[Jarhead*]

I guess this is a problem, when the sum total of cheating + everything else = best move is divorce/leaving the person.    I think the trick is to be so valuable, that nothing would change even in a worse case scenario.   

The people that need to worry about cheating are those that are already "on the bubble" in the first place (bad job, average or worse looks/health, treats spouse bad, doesnt do chores, etc etc.).   

Azanon:  All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.

(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;

If you don't get back to work, and insist on spending the tax-payers money by spending your time on this board posting immature and
childish posts, I'm going to pm Ha.

He knows where you work.

 

[SteveR]

Actually, I am guessing that monogamy is the low-budget option -- the people I know on their second and third wives are still working and shockingly asset-poor given their income levels.

So ERs can hoist the flag of monogamy as being good for the wallet and good for you,

I am one of those "on" my third wife (pun intended).  Lost one to divorce and one to death.  The divorce cost me a lot but it also gave me a new start which caused me to be FI.  Second wife was of similar financial mindset so we made a lot but saved a lot too.  Current wife is in learning-mode on what it takes to be FI and stay that way.  

Divorce can wipe you out.  I can't imagine going through alimony and child support again along with loss of half my retirement and more than half of the house equity and splitting up everything down to the Christmas decorations and family photos.  Current wife was the bread winner in her previous marriages so she is very happy to be married to someone who actually has a couple of bucks in the bank and brings home a check (and some flowers) every once in a while.  

Happiness is the result of being dedicated to a single partner for life.  Maybe this time I will actually get a chance to see if that happens or not.

 

[ESRBob]

The very best wishes to you both this time around, Steve! Sounds like you're due for a few lucky breaks.

 

[azanon]

Azanon:  All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.

What did any of that have to do with social skills?  Your youngest brother is the one with the divorce and I have it all.  Who lacks the skills?  I'm guessing the apple didnt fall far from the tree either.

(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;

If you said any of this to my face, you'd be the only one walking away with a broken nose, old man.  I hope when my time has passed too, i'm smart enough not to piss off strong, 30 somethings.

If you don't get back to work, and insist on spending the tax-payers money by spending your time on this board posting immature and
childish posts, I'm going to pm Ha.

I'm at work today?  I could have swore I took off.

He knows where you work.

What's he going to report, I look and post on the internet?  Reality to Jarhead.... so does everyone else with an internet connection at work.

I get 2, legal 15 minute breaks a day AND a lunch.  I dont smoke, dips***.

 

[laurence]

Inserting generic moderator comment about everybody playing nice.... here!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Azanon: All the above means to me is your lack of experience, and total absence of any social skills.

(By the way, I find it amazing if you haven't had your nose broken a few times.) ;

I just get a kick out of the fact that he's defending his interaction with Charlie and apparently doesnt even remember what he did. Charlie posted that he was going to take a breather from the forum because he didnt care for the politics and religion. Dipstick here posted that he didnt think those topics were every really discussed, but charlie was apparently someone who was thin-skinned, so he could go suck it. Charlie said and did nothing to him.

Further, I love his touting items such as his education. Remember the post I put up showing that college graduates were getting degrees with lousy basic skills, and his reply saying he didnt think it was true...full of spelling and grammatical errors?

Apparently someone very low on self esteem that needs to tell a lot of anonymous internet people how terrific he thinks he is. But we better watch out...he's an internet tough guy and might beat us all up!

 

[BigMoneyJim]

The thing about cheating is, after it happens once and a relationship isn't over, where's the incentive not to do it again?

As far as azanon, you all know who and what he is, and I don't think he's being nominated by anybody as early-retirement.org's award for anything.

(Yeah, I know, easy for me to say, and I've been a wonderful example with similar disruptors in the past. )

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

What did any of that have to do with social skills? Your youngest brother is the one with the divorce and I have it all. Who lacks the skills? I'm guessing the apple didnt fall far from the tree either.

If you said any of this to my face, you'd be the only one walking away with a broken nose, old man. I hope when my time has passed too, i'm smart enough not to piss off strong, 30 somethings.

I'm at work today? I could have swore I took off.

What's he going to report, I look and post on the internet? Reality to Jarhead.... so does everyone else with an internet connection at work.

I get 2, legal 15 minute breaks a day AND a lunch. I dont smoke, dips***.

What a JERK!

Nice to see that older folks who have served their country well in the military gets this level of respect from such "impressive" younger people.

Wow. This troll takes care of itself!

 

[azanon]

I just get a kick out of the fact that he's defending his interaction with Charlie and apparently doesnt even remember what he did.  Charlie posted that he was going to take a breather from the forum because he didnt care for the politics and religion.  Dipstick here posted that he didnt think those topics were every really discussed, but charlie was apparently someone who was thin-skinned, so he could go suck it.  Charlie said and did nothing to him.

I wonder how many people you've run off.  Have you convienently forgotten the fact that you consistently stir up trouble here too.  Again, the pot calls the kettle black.

How is it my responsiblity because someone is thin-skinned about religion or politics?

Further, I love his touting items such as his education.  Remember the post I put up showing that college graduates were getting degrees with lousy basic skills, and his reply saying he didnt think it was true...full of spelling and grammatical errors?

Were you the idiot that was trying to claim that many college graduates couldnt read?  We all got a laugh out of that.  

What in the world makes you think i'm going to care enough to proof-read a post to you?  I'm sure your grammar is absolutely perfect the first time you write something and you never have to proofread right, oh great one!

Apparently someone very low on self esteem that needs to tell a lot of anonymous internet people how terrific he thinks he is.  But we better watch out...he's an internet tough guy and might beat us all up!

My wife would probably die of laughter if i told her when I got home today that someone said I had "low self esteem".    

As for the physical threats, take that up with Jarhead.  He's the one that cant shut-up about bloodying people's nose.   I ignored the comment the first time.  Then he said it again.  Mind you this guy is over 60.......

 

[azanon]

What a JERK!

.... says the self-admitted ******* (see earlier in the thread).

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

At least i'm not a jerk with low self esteem that wants to tell off or beat up 60-somethings!!



And I never, ever 'stirred up trouble' with anyone who didnt attack me or another forum regular first, and I dont think with anyone that ever had any positive contribution to the forum.

Looks like my record is still intact.

 

[azanon]

At least i'm not a jerk with low self esteem that wants to tell off or beat up 60-somethings!!

Umm, whatever. In reality, he wouldnt say it to my face and if he did, i'd just laugh (and so would anyone else standing there).

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I couldnt write this stuff myself...please keep it coming in case anyone still has any reasonable doubt of what a jerk you are.

 

[azanon]

The topic is: Re: Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong? I suggest lets get back on topic.
My guess is folks are tired of our bickering.

The topic actually interests me so i'd like to see the discussion continue.

 

[wabmester]

Cool!   The monogamy thread now looks like a fight between a happily married couple.

When I was young, the idea of life-long monogamy seemed absurd.   Let me get this straight -- you want me to enter into a lifetime contract and I don't get to do any heavy flirting with anybody else ever again?   Erhm, maybe we should just live together and see how it works, eh?

I can see the value when kids are involved, but the contract should be up for renewal once the kids have flown the coup.

But as my hormone levels drop, I'm starting to see the value.  

So, is human monogamy a cultural thing?   If so, it's pretty pervasive.   Or is it biological, like it is for penguins?

 

[BigMoneyJim]

Cool! The monogamy thread now looks like a fight between a happily married couple.

Here's your moderator-for-a-day badge:

When I was young, the idea of life-long monogamy seemed absurd. Let me get this straight -- you want me to enter into a lifetime contract and I don't get to do any heavy flirting with anybody else ever again? Erhm, maybe we should just live together and see how it works, eh?

Heh, limited free agency. I like it. Although I've seen it work this way, anway.

So, is human monogamy a cultural thing? If so, it's pretty pervasive. Or is it biological, like it is for penguins?

I'm almost sure it's cultural. Apes have the alpha male thing if you're into evolution. If not, look at historical leaders: harems and concubines (in spirit if not in name) were popular among human alpha males. Monogamy is a construct of religion and morality which are constructs of civilization.

 

[BigMoneyJim]

By the way, the moderator-for-a-day badge doubles as the Early-Retirement.org Home Vasectomy kit.

(Edit "of the" -> "for a")

 

[azanon]

I'm almost sure it's cultural. Apes have the alpha male thing if you're into evolution. If not, look at historical leaders: harems and concubines (in spirit if not in name) were popular among human alpha males. Monogamy is a construct of religion and morality which are constructs of civilization.

I completely agree.

 

[BigMoneyJim]

Oh, I left out the most obvious evidence it's biological:

EVERYBODY'S SCREWING EVERYBODY​

It was so obvious I missed it the first time around.

 

[REWahoo]

EVERYBODY'S SCREWING EVERYBODY​

This message is brought to you as a public service by a guy who hasn't had any in a looooong time your friendly forum moderator, BMJ.

 

[wabmester]

Here's an abstract (who needs to read actual papers?) that suggests monogamy evolved in primates as sort of a tit-for-tat agreement.   Girl monkeys says "I'll have your baby if you protect me."   Boy monkey says "Oooo!    Ooooo!"

Monkey business


Interestingly, they also say that it's a function of population density. High density = harem. Low density = celebacy.

 

[sgeeeee]

How about Jerkiness?  Yep, you're a bigger jerk than I am.

Wow...you're right!


Uh oh...how about early retirement.

Nope, you're not retired.

How about portfolio size?

Nope, beat you there too.

Married to a mighty fine woman?

Nope, got you there.

Beautiful children?

Uh oh.  Its getting worse.

Bet I also have more dogs and cats than you do.  And a nicer car.  And I wear size 13 shoes...bet your feet arent that big. 

Wow...open the floodgates a crack and the water really starts pouring...



By the way, I could give a rats ass about you, but since you pulled the jerk routine on Charlie out of nowhere, and Charlies investing advice made me an extra $7000 last year, I figured I'd give you a little piece of the action.  Given your massive lack of social skills, its just too easy to pass by.

Jerk on...or jerk...err....nevermind.

This is pretty weak, CFB. You didn't bring up the two most critical measures of a poster's worth: IQ and post count.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I didnt want to pile it on. Besides, he was doing a really great job of exposing his inner jerk without that much help.