Poll: Is Monogamy Right or Wrong?

[wabmester]

Sorry, the death thread and the "snip snip" poll got me thinking about this one....

We all know that men have the ability to procreate like crazy to ensure our immortality, so what do you think about this relatively newfangled monogamy idea?

 

[Danny]

Sorry, the death thread and the "snip snip" poll got me thinking about this one....

We all know that men have the ability to procreate like crazy to ensure our immortality, so what do you think about this relatively newfangled monogamy idea?

I think Dr. Strangelove had a verrry interesssting plan for ensuring our continued existence, yes...emmm..heheheh

 

[Outtahere]

How come women only get one choice?

 

[wabmester]

How come women only get one choice?

Because life is not fair to women.

 

[haha]

Because life is not fair to women.

Since women have this choice in real life, I think if your poll is to mean anything the choices should be symmetrical, you blatant Chauvinist.

Ha

 

[wabmester]

OK, OK. By an act of congress, I hereby grant women an equal right to vote.

 

[Danny]

OK, OK. By an act of congress, I hereby grant women an equal right to vote.

From the results - it looks like the women have been holding out....

 

[BigMoneyJim]

I misread the question and thought I was voting if Polygamy was right or wrong. I said it's nuts. Who wants to marry more than one woman?!?! Sow seeds, sure, but commit? I haven't done that with one yet.

But that wasn't the question. Monogamy isn't nuts, but it certainly seems a good model to start a family. Without kids I'm not sure what the point of marriage is. Divorce isn't that hard and happens all the time, so the distinction of marriage (when there are no kids) is lost on me a bit.

Being on an ER board the common theme I see is worry that the husband and wife will be stuck spending more time together after retirement, and these are people who have been married a long time, usually. People around here at work who get hurt hate to be off-duty and frequently come back to work ASAP complaining about their spouses. Some work light duty when they could be paid to stay at home.

I'm not suggesting everyone be free lovers, but maybe Monogamy is taken too seriously or too strenuously.

I'd rewrite this a couple of times as I've strayed off-topic into another, but I don't have time right now...

 

[Sheryl]

I'm not going to vote on this one because it's so much of an "it depends" situation.

If you make a good choice, a lucky choice, and informed choice and/or a careful choice and you marry or otherwise pair up with the "right person" and you're blissfully happy together, and have no reason to or interest in going elsewhere, and you get up at 5:30 just to make his lunch because you like to make him happy and you look forward to seeing him every day after work, sure it's a great thing.

If you're stupid or unlucky or the person you marry changes or you change, or they beat you, humiliate you, blame you for everything wrong in their life or otherwise make your life hell, or if you're just bored to death and can't imagine spending another minute with the person, then there's no point in sticking it out out of stubborness or duty or because you think God wants you too, or your kids will be better off.... Then it sort of sucks.

How do you vote on THAT

 

[azanon]

I'm for the SO being monogamous.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Whats monogamy?

Eh, I'll ask my wife when she gets home.

Oh heck...I'll just ask my girlfriend now...

 

[HFWR]

Monogamy is a very expensive wood...

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Theres a joke in there somewhere...I just cant put my fingers on it...

 

[Sheryl]

Theres a joke in there somewhere...I just cant put my fingers on it...

You're slipping!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Not bloody likely.

 

[cube_rat]

Call my cynical, but monogamy is not realistic. If it were, there wouldn't be such a demand for hookers. Aside from the illicit affair, there's a whole other world that exists where a lot of married men often tread. Check out Eros Guide or the erotic section on Craigslist.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Statistically, women 'stray' just as often as men. Might be 'worse' than that, since men might tend towards bragging about it while women might tend towards keeping it to themselves when surveyed...

 

[sgeeeee]

Mahogany is an excellent wood for making furniture and it lasts a long time. This wood displays a beautiful reddish sheen when polished. Why not keep that mahogany desk for a lifetime?

:

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Yes

 

[Michael Moore]

Is this just a warm up for the "How long is a piece of string?" poll?

cheers,
Michael

 

[azanon]

Statistically, women 'stray' just as often as men. Might be 'worse' than that, since men might tend towards bragging about it while women might tend towards keeping it to themselves when surveyed...

Actually, they statistically stray a little less, but probably more than most realize. Ive seen at least 3 different data sets on the subject, and in all 3, women polled showed a lower percentage of straying.

 

[laurence]

Call my cynical, but monogamy is not realistic. If it were, there wouldn't be such a demand for hookers. Aside from the illicit affair, there's a whole other world that exists where a lot of married men often tread. Check out Eros Guide or the erotic section on Craigslist.

Here, here! So uh, you wanna go grab some dinner with me?

I wonder if the (slight) variation on cheating is biological? After all, a woman knows it's her kid (and her genes), a guy can't be sure so maybe he sows his seeds across multiple fields?

I won't lie, I've been tempted, but I'm not a good liar, and I like my life/love my wife. Perhaps that's more pragmatic than a spouse would like to hear. I just never bought into the, "Since I've been with her I don't even look at other women!" bs some of my friends try to sell.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Actually, they statistically stray a little less, but probably more than most realize. Ive seen at least 3 different data sets on the subject, and in all 3, women polled showed a lower percentage of straying.

Then you looked at three incorrect polls.

Decent ones with a reasonable study size, normalized for variances, note that women may cheat MORE than men.

But i'm okay with a fair shake 'just equal' status...I'm more interested in getting away from cheating being a "man problem".

If you prarie dog it, most affairs involve a man and a woman. If we're talking about infidelity, one is married or in a long term relationship. Are you seriously going to contend that in a majority of cases, one of those partners is unattached?

The biggest problems among some of these polls are the questions asked, and who gets asked.

 

[BigMoneyJim]

I wonder if the (slight) variation on cheating is biological? After all, a woman knows it's her kid (and her genes), a guy can't be sure so maybe he sows his seeds across multiple fields?

I saw some nature show on orangutans or similar ape, and their hierarchy is an alpha male that mates with all the females and chases off other adult males, but the females sneak out and get with stray males periodically even though they seem to know there is a danger of repercussions if caught. The presumption was that the female was compelled to provide diversity in her offspring's DNA.

I'm not convinced that women cheat less than men. I think women are more sly about it--to others and even to themselves.

I won't lie, I've been tempted, but I'm not a good liar, and I like my life/love my wife. Perhaps that's more pragmatic than a spouse would like to hear. I just never bought into the, "Since I've been with her I don't even look at other women!" bs some of my friends try to sell.

I've always thought acknowledging your potential for something is a better guard than denying the possibility. Sure I may think I'm "better" than that (whatever "that" is), but I figure somewhere inside me I'm capable of doing just about anything any other human has done. The "I don't even look at other women" is denial.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

As far as the parity of cheating, realize that most men feel that if they've touched some part of a woman thats normally covered by clothes, that "something happened". Some people, both men and women, feel that sex without any emotional attachment isnt cheating. Then of course, we get the "clinton effect" where oral sex isnt really sex, hence it isnt cheating.

I've actually heard some guys say that if they used a condom, that its not cheating because there was no direct contact.

I've heard some women talk about sleeping with three guys, but they really only cared about one of them, so the other two didnt mean anything, and therefore no cheating. I've heard a couple who were having sex with a guy who was paying them money afterwards...get mad because the guy never took them out for dinner or drinks. One said "Considering the stuff the guy does to me, you'd think he'd get me a little drunk first". When I asked why she continued seeing him she said "I need his gifts, he's very generous".

She was totally a ho, and she didnt even realize it. He was just a boyfriend who paid her and didnt take her anywhere, and only showed up for sex and left afterwards. Right.

Now are we starting to get a little bit of an idea why surveys/polls, especially involving sex, tend to be a little bit problematic?