Retired Husband and Working Wife

[CuppaJoe]

I guess later has figured it out since she hasn't been back.....

Let's not let that slow us down.

 

[freebird5825]

...I have recently rehired a housekeeper.

This is excellent news! I know Khan has some limitiations with respect to manual tasks, as do I. I have a once a month cleaning done top to bottom, then I just have to maintain it in between.
A hybrid approach......my living space is well kept up by the cleaner and I am not under obligation to do the full set of cleaning duties on any schedule.
Some people may look at having a housecleaner as an indulgence. If so, then this is by far the best indulgence you can treat yourself to. Housecleaning, is, well, too much like w*rk!
It violates the spirit of FIRE.

I have assumed duties of financial cop, laundry slave, and cookmeister since I FIREd. It was the sweet spot of the deal I worked with dh2b prior to my early exit from the high stress life of a rabid c*reer girl. I am so much happier. He gets home cooked meals all ready when he gets home and folded underwear. Life is good.

 

[Khan]

This is excellent news! I know Khan has some limitiations with respect to manual tasks, as do I. I have a once a month cleaning done top to bottom, then I just have to maintain it in between.
A hybrid approach......my living space is well kept up by the cleaner and I am not under obligation to do the full set of cleaning duties on any schedule.
Some people may look at having a housecleaner as an indulgence. If so, then this is by far the best indulgence you can treat yourself to. Housecleaning, is, well, too much like w*rk!
It violates the spirit of FIRE.

I have assumed duties of financial cop, laundry slave, and cookmeister since I FIREd. It was the sweet spot of the deal I worked with dh2b prior to my early exit from the high stress life of a rabid c*reer girl. I am so much happier. He gets home cooked meals all ready when he gets home and folded underwear. Life is good.

A small piece of my brain tells me: "You can't justify this. You are retired and have the time to do housework; you have only a small pension; it's a small house; a woman should be able to maintain her house..."

%^&* all of it. I don't like housecleaning. I'm not good at it. It hurts.

 

[freebird5825]

A small piece of my brain tells me: "You can't justify this. You are retired and have the time to do housework; you have only a small pension; it's a small house; a woman should be able to maintain her house..."

%^&* all of it. I don't like housecleaning. I'm not good at it. It hurts.

Justify?
Baloney salami pepperoni!
Justify it as one of those great deals of being FIREd. And right now, with families struggling with expenses, it is your good deed to help your housekeeper make her ends meet a little easier. How's that?
I used to houseclean myself for extra cash when I was on a starving college student's budget. The money I earned from my retired and still w*rking customers was used for books and room and board at school.
Sending it forward and all that good stuff...

 

[FinanceDude]

I would gladly be a househusband..... I am a good cook, my mom taught me how to clean, and I press clothes like noone's business. However, I will NOT wear any French maid outfits.......

 

[Khan]

?

I would gladly be a househusband..... I am a good cook, my mom taught me how to clean, and I press clothes like noone's business. However, I will NOT wear any French maid outfits.......

Will you take your shirt off to wash dishes?

 

[Purron]

IHowever, I will NOT wear any French maid outfits.......

Well, I for one, would love to see you in a French maid outfit

 

[freebird5825]

Well, I for one, would love to see you in a French maid outfit

Make that two!
I can't post it here and stay within forum rules, but go to YouTube and search on "The StripTease in the Full Monty". Warning - the video clip is not for the faint hearted.

You can leave your hat on!

 

[bbbamI]

I would gladly be a househusband..... I am a good cook, my mom taught me how to clean, and I press clothes like noone's business. However, I will NOT wear any French maid outfits.......

How about an American "made" outfit?

 

[Purron]

Make that two!
I can't post it here and stay within forum rules, but go to YouTube and search on "The StripTease in the Full Monty". Warning - the video clip is not for the faint hearted.

You can leave your hat on!

I just youtubed the Full Monty clip. It made my day

 

[Sarah in SC]

Tales from another broken love:

EX decided that once we were married, I would become a good wife (and do housework).

Thing was, I had a higher tolerance for squalor.

I have recently rehired a housekeeper.

I have recently been awarded the Princess of Squalor designation in my house. Not just one man, but a second man has now deemed my ability to avoid sweeping the floor to be so profoundly squalorly that he broke before I did!

I always knew I could out-squalor my husband, but our friend who moved in with us between jobs and/or girlfriends had what I thought was a much higher squalor tolerance. I have officially defeated both of them.

I am very proud.

Now where's that old forum toilet story about the King of Squalor-ville?

 

[Texarkandy]

DW being a SAHM for many years (& having grown up German) has always kept things pretty clean around here, but I've had to pitch in a bit more since her re-entry into the workforce this past year.

Hopefully, I'll be a house-husband/kept-man in 2010 though & take care of it all. Looking forward to it in fact after 29 years. (Now where do I get those french-maid outfits?)

 

[bbbamI]

Here are two uniforms. I just can't make up my mind which one I prefer....

 

[jambo101]

Sit your hubby down and have a talk about potential scenario's, there is only one i can think of and it goes something like this, basically he will become responsible for all housework and related chores(cooking.cleaning,shopping ETC) and you will become irate if he doesnt conform because your new favorite saying will be "well i had to work all day" When both partners are working an unspoken routine sets in whereby the housework is divided but once he retires its all over ,he's now the house slave so tell him that the dishes and laundry better be done before you go off golfing,fishing,biking etc.

 

[haha]

Sit your hubby down and have a talk about potential scenario's, there is only one i can think of and it goes something like this, basically he will become responsible for all housework and related chores(cooking.cleaning,shopping ETC) and you will become irate if he doesnt conform because your new favorite saying will be "well i had to work all day" When both partners are working an unspoken routine sets in whereby the housework is divided but once he retires its all over ,he's now the house slave so tell him that the dishes and laundry better be done before you go off golfing,fishing,biking etc.

I guess you may be joking. I wonder where in the US could a man with an English speaking wife get away with this sort of attitude? For OP's DH's sake, perhaps he may want to delay his retirement.

Ha

 

[davemartin88]

My late husband retired before me and the only problem was I had to let go of some of my standards . He would do the laundry but not fold it and that would drive me crazy . He also did not cook but would get take out . I am now retired and my SO still works part time . When I retired he stopped cooking ( He used to do a third of the cooking ) and at first i tried to stall him out to see who would cook . Now I just accept that I am the cook except when I go on strike .

My DW can probably relate to your comments- I retired in October and don't do all the housework but do some of it now and I also cook most of the time. I enjoy the cooking but no interest in the housework so I don't dust/vacuum on a schedule, I dust/vacuum when I think it needs it (this means I can see the dust or hair from the dogs and when I'm done, it's noticeably better. Laundry is one area I was asked not to help with some years ago, I will do a load of my work clothes or towels but nothing that anyone has to wear in public, LOL.

For the OP, DW is still working and will for 2-3 more years, she works as a teaching assistant with special education kids- loves the work most of the time and always loves working with the kids. Takes a special kind of person to do this work. If she stays until she has 10 years, she can "retire" with virtually no pension but we'd be able to continue with group rate health insurance for the two of us, this would currently be about $940 for health, vision, and dental. This would get us through early retirement and insulate us from age related increases if we were not part of the group plan.

We're still working out the routine, I'm dabbling in a lot of things right now to make a few bucks to support my many hobbies and we do get comments from friends about me "not pulling my weight" (the previous 30 years of employment seems to be completely forgotten). We're also working on a plan to build a log house in West Virginia over the next few years to be ready when she no longer is working. Can't wait.

So far, it's working and I particularly like it, .

 

[Bimmerbill]

I'd love to be a stay at home dad. Rather bust my arse at home taking care of DD then at work. DW doesn't make any decent salary tho, so I'm stuck working.

My dad was 10 years older than my mother. He took an early out from a plastics manufacturer when he was 55. They moved from NH to SC, my mom took a county job at the local high school. After 10 years she was vested in health care. She just turned 65 so uses Medicare as primary, but had hter county insturance for quite a few years.

Dad died at 69 from thyroid cancer, poor guy. Was still very healthy and active, walked all the time, puttered aound the yard, etc. At least he got some retirement time!

 

[Khan]

I guess you may be joking. I wonder where in the US could a man with an English speaking wife get away with this sort of attitude? For OP's DH's sake, perhaps he may want to delay his retirement.

Ha

Fella lived with me for a couple years. We established house rules up front.
I did laundry, he did house cleaning, we shared cooking and yard work and errands.

 

[freebird5825]

Simple formula - both work, both do household chores. The load splitting details are half the fun of negotiating. It's called TEAMW*RK. Very good stuff for a marriage or partnership.
Conversely, if 1 still works, the household engineer (retired spouse) picks up on the bulk of the household chores because time is now aplenty for the retiree. Of course, the retiree is free to hire a housecleaner if it's within the budget or medically necessary.
The only chores I do not do while dh2b is at work full time are those which I can no longer do because of injury to my hands. So I pick up the slack on other things, like doing ALL the laundry and cooking in exchange for him working on the cars and any heavy yard work. He hates laundry. I can't run the chainsaw anymore. I miss that.

 

[Nords]

My husband will retire in 2 years and I will work for an additional 8 years. Has anyone had this experience? Does anyone have any advice?

Put dinner in the crock pot before you head out to the beach.

Whoever owns more crap gets to dust it.

Whoever creates the laundry gets to wash it.

Whoever observes that the dishwasher could be loaded more efficiently is in charge of it in perpetuity. (OK, OK, I was a marriage rookie at the time.)

Roomba & Scooba.

Whoever's tired of cutting grass needs to look into El Toro zoysia or xeriscaping.

Spouse has declined to enter into a gross-out competition, so we split the rest of it. I get the mail and do the finances. She cleans the bunny's litter box, I'm on 24/7 exterminator & toilet duty.

 

[Moemg]

My SO is stuck in the 60's so we do traditional jobs . I cook ,clean and do the laundry . He does repairs , yard work ,garbage ,car maintenance and any updates I dream up . Since I'd rather not deal with those things it is fine with me . He also organizes the dishwasher when I'm not looking .I'm not sure why so I just ignore it .

 

[FinanceDude]

?

Will you take your shirt off to wash dishes?

If it pleases you, then yes..........

 

[FinanceDude]

Well, I for one, would love to see you in a French maid outfit

 

[FinanceDude]

How about an American "made" outfit?

Nothing says "I love you" like a man doing dishes in the nude.......

 

[FinanceDude]

I love this. Most men and women won't admit to these little games. When we were both young, my ex would sometimes try to stall me out on sex, to get me to do some chore or other. She hated that she would usually cave first because she had a more driving need than I.Ha

Other than the last sentence, I suppose that is the definition of marriage for millions of men.........