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Old 05-19-2012, 04:42 PM   #21
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Just erased a "too long" funny story about a friend who married and divorced 3 times, he was Lothario so he go what he deserved. In 1970 he had a million or two and owned 2 Pep Boys, today he is a 66 year old draftsman for Boeing, drawing aircraft brackets and screws.

Wonder what his bad dreams are?
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Old 05-19-2012, 04:55 PM   #22
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I have a recurring dream that it is Christmas Eve and somehow I have forgotten to buy presents , get a tree , get food , etc.. So I run wildly to the stores as they are closing their doors . My second dream is that I have returned to work but I immediately realize it is a mistake and do not know how to get out of it .
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Old 05-19-2012, 06:07 PM   #23
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What a great thread! Just last night I had a dream that I was to teach a class. I finally found the (teaching) building in a big city somewhere. I parked near a bridge, and walked to the classroom. Then I realized that I had forgotten all my teaching supplies. I ran outside, and they were towing off my car...then I turned around to look for the building, and ended up walking up and down several streets. What a relief to wake up! No class today

Bottom line, I love to feel in control ( in a healthy way) of my life - especially finances. I guess that is why I spent so much time planning out our retirement. When I was younger, it was much easier to just go with the flow. Going through a divorce in my 30's was a rude awakening; now I consider it a gift because there was enough time for me to start over - and work toward financial security.
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Old 05-19-2012, 06:13 PM   #24
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I occasionally dream that I am back in the Navy and I am missing part of my uniform. That's about as bad as my dreams ever get. Mostly I don't dream at all (or at least I never remember them).
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Old 05-19-2012, 06:22 PM   #25
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Ha,

I still occasionally have these married dreams like you - and it's been almost 20 years since my divorce. It's a HUGE relief when I realize that it was just a dream. The fact I was married to this guy seems like a dream when I am awake, but the agonizing emotions I feel in my dreams are sooo real. That tells me that I probably stayed in the marriage way longer than I should have. It's kind of like post tramatic stress or something. No kids or messy finance invovled in my case, but still. I imagine things could be a whole lot worse when kids or tons of money are in the equation. (I cannot imagine paying alamony for the rest of my life, for example. That would really dampen my mood.)

I personally have nothing against marriage though. Plenty of people get married to reasonable people and are very happy. As I have been single for so long, W2R's arrangement or something similar appeals to me a great deal. (I have an SO of 15 years and we live separately.)
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Old 05-19-2012, 07:42 PM   #26
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I mostly telecommuted and traveled for the last three years of my employment (10 years ago) and I occasionally have a nightmare that I forgot so turn in something or other (usually expensive travel to faraway places) in my expense report and today is my last working day so if I don't do it it right now I'll never get reimbursed! Then I wake up - oh what a relief!
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Old 05-19-2012, 08:15 PM   #27
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My scary dreams are almost always about my old job. I'm thinking my former boss must be much like your former wife. If so, good thing we're both rid of them.
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Old 05-20-2012, 04:47 AM   #28
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Never been married here, so no scary dreams involving an ex DW. My nightmares almost always involve failing an exam at school or not being on time for a test, class, paper etc.
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My scary dreams are almost always about my old job. I'm thinking my former boss must be much like your former wife. If so, good thing we're both rid of them.
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Old 05-20-2012, 09:02 AM   #29
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I also have the dreams about missing a test, and being either naked or in pajamas at school.

Wonder if that has been analyzed for cause?

But the really universal dream seems to be forgetting to attend a class and suddenly panicking. Does that happen only to college grads or does everyone have that bad dream?
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Old 05-20-2012, 09:50 AM   #30
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I had a dream last year that I went back to my college for some reunion and they told me I hadn't graduated, that I needed one more semester (at age 60). The whole dream involved trying to find out where to register for the classes at the last minute and also the roommate in the dorm I had already been assigned to, who was even older than I and very religious. Even in the dream I was wondering why I cared that I hadn't really graduated and should I just go home--when I woke up I was laughing.
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Old 05-20-2012, 10:07 AM   #31
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My nightmares these days involve the end of the world in my lifetime. Watching too much Science Channel these days, I guess.

My dad in his old age used to have nightmares of fighting with a tiger and he thrashed around terribly--broke some furniture once. He was a combat engineer in the Philippines in WWII. We figure he was metaphorically fighting old age, but he had seen a lot of terrible things. He never talked much about it.

He also told me of his years in the American SouthWest in the early part of the 20th century. There were people still alive who were in the old Wild West. They had a camp cook who they made sleep away from camp as he had violent nightmares. It turns out he had shot his own father.

When I remember these things, it puts things in perspective.
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Old 05-20-2012, 10:13 AM   #32
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For years now, my dream-response to the naked-dreams has been to pull a cover-up out of a bag I just happen to be carrying; and to the missed-school dreams, "Hey, wait a minute, what difference does it make? I have been working for decades, and nobody's noticed!"

But that evil-car dream...all I can do is wake up and shudder.

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I had a dream last year that I went back to my college for some reunion and they told me I hadn't graduated, that I needed one more semester (at age 60). The whole dream involved trying to find out where to register for the classes at the last minute and also the roommate in the dorm I had already been assigned to, who was even older than I and very religious. Even in the dream I was wondering why I cared that I hadn't really graduated and should I just go home--when I woke up I was laughing.
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Old 05-20-2012, 10:55 AM   #33
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My scary dreams are almost always about my old job. I'm thinking my former boss must be much like your former wife. If so, good thing we're both rid of them.
I didn't mean to give this impression. My ex was not worse than me, and probably better. I just found that once the kids were up, I no longer had the motivation for all that compromising.

I think I have a greater than average desire/need for autonomy, and I also respect that in others. Nevertheless, this is a different attitude than what I think it might take to be happiest in a long marriage. So I think my objection is in fact more to marriage per se, than to marriage with any particular person. I tend to like and admire many different women, I just don't want to be married to one.

Ha
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Old 05-20-2012, 11:46 AM   #34
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I didn't mean to give this impression. My ex was not worse than me, and probably better. I just found that once the kids were up, I no longer had the motivation for all that compromising.

I think I have a greater than average desire/need for autonomy, and I also respect that in others. Nevertheless, this is a different attitude than what I think it might take to be happiest in a long marriage. So I think my objection is in fact more to marriage per se, than to marriage with any particular person. I tend to like and admire many different women, I just don't want to be married to one.

Ha
Ha, yep. You definitely have a good reason not to get married!
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