Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-10-2004, 04:54 PM   #1
 
Posts: n/a
Second (or third) marriage and ER

I am sure Cut-Throat will have input on this one

Neither of my wives showed much interest in finances,
leaving it to me. Actually my first wife showed great
talent for making money disappear, but I digress.

Now, I am uncertain if my wives were deferring to my great
talents, my control freak tendencies, or maybe they
just didn't give a damn. Anyway, here is how we are
set up now (2nd marriage for both of us)................

We have a pretty standard prenup. My wife suggested
it, probably because she knew I would insist on it
anyway. That was over 3 years ago and all finances
remain separate. She covers specific common costs
and I pick up everything else. When she retires
(no idea when that will be), we will live on my money
and SS. At that point I will reassume complete
oversight on financial stuff. In the meantime, I am going to try to rewrite my will/trust to assure my spouse's security in the event of my demise. I think
she should retire coincident with my SS kicking in.
But, as I have posted before, we are not able to do
any meaningful mutual financial planning. I like the
present set up though, except would also like to get my spouse
to cut back on her schedule (she does not like her work).

Okay, anyone else dealing with this stuff?

JG
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-10-2004, 06:49 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

My Mom and Dad almost got divirced about 10 times, until Dad inherited some money and decided to give in.

As a teenager sometimes I would listen to the discussions. Although his point of view was likely to cramp my style (less use of the car, no vacation with my friends to Florida) it was clear to me that he was right from any rational, prudent POV. She just didn't buy it. For example, her contention was that once a car was bought, except for gas which was cheap, the money was gone anyway. He maintained that cars wear out, and given that you keep them garaged and waxed, they wear out quicker if you drive them more. No problem for a cost accountant or a mechanic or an engineer to understand, but big problem for my mother.

I suppose she might have done better with "Sure, you're right, cars do wear out. But so what, we can afford it."

Mikey
__________________

__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-11-2004, 08:16 PM   #3
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,620
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Overheard from a father at a discussion of raising kids:

"I spoil my daughter because I want her to know the finer things in life, and then she'll make sure that she only marries someone who can support her standards."

I think we can all see how this is going to turn out...
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 06:06 AM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 190
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Quote:
Overheard from a father at a discussion of raising kids:

"I spoil my daughter because I want her to know the finer things in life, and then she'll make sure that she only marries someone who can support her standards."

I think we can all see how this is going to turn out...
His Stepford Daughter! This kind of thing makes me so angry and we're living in 2004! In my work I see women all the time who have no clue how they will take care of themselves and by the time I see them there is also a baby involved. Look around, the divorce rate is close to 50%. At some point most women will be on their own for some period of time. They should have the skills to support themselves (and usually at least one child)! Dr Phil can't save the whole world, fer god's sake! :

I know none of the intelligent, thoughful savvy folks in this conversation are doing this to their daughter(s).

I feel better now,

Judy


__________________
www.strawbaleredux.blogspot.com
JWV is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 06:56 AM   #5
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

I have 2 daughters, both college grads or soon to be.
My oldest daughter (and husband) have opted for a stay at home lifestyle for my daughter (4 small children
so far - home schooled). My youngest daughter was born with a
very large silver spoon and unfortunately the timing
of my divorce took away most of my chance to exert
much influence on her "pre-adult" decisions;
college, areas of study, career goals, etc. Very sad
for both of us, but certainly not atypical in a divorce
situation. I once thought (hoped?) that when she became an adult I would
be able to have more input. So far, it has been the reverse. I have to accept much of the blame as I
indulged her as a child and then initiated the split with
her mother. One more area where I was blindsided.

JG
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 08:34 AM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Quote:
Skipping to the present, when you have two "warring factions", and both have close to equal earning abilities, the divorce rate is pretty easy to explain.
Jarhead
Indeed. Also, as an ER, you are worth no more alive than dead. A friend of nine, retired at 50 on a reasonable but not lavish budget just had his wife divorce him because after 16 years of marriage she "discovered" that she is a Lesbian. This is a risk many of us may not have thought of

So my friend, sadder but wiser, is seeking work.

mikey
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 12:07 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,375
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Quote:

Indeed. Also, as an ER, you are worth no more alive than dead. A friend of nine, retired at 50 on a reasonable but not lavish budget just had his wife divorce him because after 16 years of marriage she "discovered" that she is a Lesbian. This is a risk many of us may not have thought of

So my friend, sadder but wiser, is seeking work.

mikey
Mikey: Fact of the matter, when you put it that way, financially my wife would be far better off for me to become a hood ornament on a Mack truck, rather than sticking around.
She would have our entire net worth by herself, plus a paid up term life policy.
I don't hunt anymore, so thanks for the reminder to go through the house and unload all my hunting rifles
__________________
Jarhead* is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 12:19 PM   #8
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 408
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

ex-Jarhead,

<<< She would have our entire net worth by herself, plus a paid up term life policy>>>

Please enlighten me on a "paid up term life policy" I was always under the impression that you couldn't do that with a term policy but rather only with a whole life policy. Thanks.

LovesLife
__________________
LovesLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 12:48 PM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,375
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Quote:
ex-Jarhead,

Please enlighten me on a "paid up term life policy" *I was always under the impression that you couldn't do that with a term policy but rather only with a whole life policy. *Thanks.

LovesLife
Loveslife: Wow, this board doesn't miss anything.
Actually, the policy that I have has no cash values, or any other surrender values, so term is pretty close.
It was issued through my prior employer, and was available with no additional premium due for anybody that completed 20 years with them. It is good until i check out.
By the way, one of the features of whole life insurance is at a certain point, you can convert it to a paid up policy.
As far as I know your understanding about the pure meaning of term versus whole life is correct.
Jarhead

__________________
Jarhead* is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER
Old 12-12-2004, 02:54 PM   #10
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 408
Re: Second (or third) marriage and ER

Thanks, Jarhead for the info. I always enjoy your posts.

LovesLife
__________________

__________________
LovesLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:42 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.