Single old babes, want to marry again?

[2B]

Lazy,

You left out the requisite reference to Hitler and/or Nazis.

My whole point is that we are currently creating an environment through our fiscal policy that encourages those with limited education to procreate like rabbits via welfare but penalize those with educations. Which group do you think would "raise" a better next generation.

If your goal for zero population growth, feel free to advocate forced sterization of any male or female that accepts welfare for more than a minimum period of time. I don't think that's necessary.

 

[Zoocat]

hey, 2B and LazyGFNB! You hijacked my thread and started a political/social argument. I really don't appreciate it. Please start another thread.

 

[2B]

hey, 2B and LazyGFNB! You hijacked my thread and started a political/social argument. I really don't appreciate it. Please start another thread.

I have two replies but I'll stick with "why do you think your posts are different?" Other Topics are just that.

With that out of the way, I'll comment on your original intended thread and say that marriage for the young is a more passionate affair than for those of us that have had a few miles put on their odometer. The hot blood of youth and the prospect of their new life drives a lot of crazy mating decisions. Some of them actually work out as can be attested to by some of the other posters.

As for getting remarried, there are considerations of our "childrens' inheritance" and the established life patterns that will be disrupted by another round of nuptials. Also, I must admit that my physical attributes have not been fully maintained as I've aged and perhaps others will agree they have also "matured." I've seen enough "older" people that have been without spouses and have expressed no interest in getting remarried suddenly show up with a new squeeze to know that when "it hits" it hits.

Say what you want, trash men (or women if you are so oriented). If you find the right situation, you will do as many of my younger, confirmed bachelor friends have done and get married (or form that longterm relationship).

I personally agree with you and I will say now that I would not remarry if DW passed away. It's easy for me to say that now but I don't know what life holds in store with me. Ultimately, our hearts will win out.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

oldbabe. i didn't think i was hijacking anything; i thought i was simply commenting on a prior post within a thread. often these threads run through a quilt of thoughts in the free exchange of ideas. had i known you were sensitive to your thread running outside the eye of its needle, i never would have commented on another's post which did not relate directly to your personal op. i meant no disrespect to you, i will work to never again color outside the lines within your picture book and i apologize for any offense i caused herein.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

For better or worse, thread hijacking is pretty much a way of life around here. Some of the most interesting discussions come from hijackings. Starting your own thread is certainly more respectful of the OP, but we're lazy and like odd context, so it doesn't happen too often.

 

[Zoocat]

oldbabe. i didn't think i was hijacking anything; i thought i was simply commenting on a prior post within a thread. often these threads run through a quilt of thoughts in the free exchange of ideas. had i known you were sensitive to your thread running outside the eye of its needle, i never would have commented on another's post which did not relate directly to your personal op. i meant no disrespect to you, i will work to never again color outside the lines within your picture book and i apologize for any offense i caused herein.

I certainly did not feel any disrespect! And no offense taken at all! I was only wanting to head off what seemed to me the start of a really nasty argument. And it's true, as Mr. Bunny said, that threads take interesting turns. I should have kept my trap shut. :

 

[2B]

I should have kept my trap shut. :

Why? Join in. Be civil.

 

[HFWR]

I shudder when I read the paper and watch the news, and see all the weirdos and perverts out there...

I made the news?


Put me on the "not looking to get married" list, although nothing is written in stone. Definitely enjoy a partner-in-crime, but haven't had much luck finding someone I can tolerate (and vice versa) for long periods.

How about a lifetime membership to a Japanese bathhouse?

 

[Toejam]

Just saw this article today in the Seattle Post Intelligencer by syndicated columnist Maria Anglin regarding single women. Thought it was somewhat related to the topic of this thread. The last 7 paragraphs might explain why many women don't feel a need or desire to remarry after divorce or being widowed (or to marry at all). The article is not cynical.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/301349_woman28.html

 

[theronware]

What we've done is financially discouraged the educated women from producing more than a very low number of children because of the extra stress and expense incurred in raising children. From a policy standpoint, I would like to financially enourage the best potential mothers to have more children.

Finacially, it may benefit individual gays to receive full spousal benefits but it doesn't contribute to encouraging a better next generation.
People would be free to choose and not be financially damaged as badly as our present system.

Relax, 2B. I've got a Ph.D., (as does my partner), am gay, and have had a daughter!! And, we're working on number two!! See, it's up to us educated gay women to save contemporary U.S. civilization from itself.
We're doing our dangdest....

theronware

 

[dumpster56]

It really is all about when the planets and stars and galaxys line up. Who knows.

never say never enjoy everyday with who you choose to be with and if something moves in your heart , well you will know.

 

[SteveR]

I guess I will throw in my 2 cents into the discussion.

After my divorce I was not inclined to remarry and it was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I was busy with (over) work and being a single parent of a young teenager with emotional scars. My goals involved keeping the wolf away from the door while pay off the huge amount of debt left on my back from the divorce. Marriage was a nasty word in my house.

Flash forward a few years. I met a woman who opened up my heart and my mind to a new future. We married...second time around for us both. It lasted one week short of 10 years and left me widowed and alone. Remarriage was the furthest thing from my mind.

Flash forward and my life changed again. A new woman entered my life and we married (three times the charm for both of us).

If I were widowed or divorced again I believe I would resolve myself to being alone. The pain of loving and losing takes a toll on the heart and the mind and doing it yet one more time seems less likely at this phase in my life. But, I don't really know what the future holds and I might find yet another love of my life. Life without someone to share it with seems an empty existance to me. I have been alone and I have been married and I prefer being married (to the right person).

If you believe there is no one as good as your former spouse you might be surprised to find out that in many cases, there are others out there that could make you happy. Likewise, there are many out there that could make you worse off than being alone. Like is a risk. Those best prepared will lower the risks to an acceptable level and will be rewarded for their efforts. The more one experiences the more able one becomes to judge what is important to them.

There is nothing wrong with living alone if that is what makes you happy. What ever works for you and makes you happy is what is important.

 

[2B]

Relax, 2B. I've got a Ph.D., (as does my partner), am gay, and have had a daughter!! And, we're working on number two!! See, it's up to us educated gay women to save contemporary U.S. civilization from itself.
We're doing our dangdest....

theronware

Good for you. You qualify for my spousal bonus plan which will never be enacted.

 

[FinanceDude]

See, it's up to us educated gay women to save contemporary U.S. civilization from itself.
We're doing our dangdest....

theronware

Can you please clarify what you mean by that statement

 

[theronware]

Can you please clarify what you mean by that statement

It was an attempt at humour (sort of). I guess I should festoon my messages with emoticons in order to make my intentions clear.

2B evinces dismay that educated women are having less children and proposes some kind of governmental stipend system to encourage said educated women to stay home and breed rather than deploy their educations in the workforce.

In the ensuing melee with good4nothingbum, both writers assume that gay people will be outside the purview of this new gov. system...2b indeed suggests that his proposed policy will be perceived as homophobic.

Both writers are therefore assuming that gay people don't have kids. In fact 60% of gay households are now raising children so certainly the proposed policy change would impact them.

I don't really know 2b's politics (beyond his rather scary eugenic leanings)...but I was yanking his chain in suggesting that he has nothing to worry about because gays are actually engaged in the reproduction he finds so sorely lacking amongst the educated classes.

theronware

 

[FinanceDude]

Got it!!

 

[Zoocat]

There is nothing wrong with living alone if that is what makes you happy. What ever works for you and makes you happy is what is important.

Who says you have to be married to share your life with someone? My original thought was that I would never marry again, not that I wanted to live alone the rest of my life. I do want to find another love and share my life but being married is just not on my agenda. I plan to avoid the legal ties that bind!

 

[My Dream]

Got it!!

 

[SecondCor521]

Who says you have to be married to share your life with someone? My original thought was that I would never marry again, not that I wanted to live alone the rest of my life. I do want to find another love and share my life but being married is just not on my agenda. I plan to avoid the legal ties that bind!

It was interesting for me to attempt to articulate for myself exactly those things that are only available via marriage vs. any other type of relationship. I only came up with a few - sex, exclusivity, and a lifelong commitment were the three I thought of, in theory. And every one of those can be muddied up in any number of different ways -- some marriages are sexless and some non-marriages aren't, some non-marriages are exclusive, and lifelong commitment isn't necessarily going to happen in a marriage. Anyway, it was interesting to think about.

2Cor521

 

[Moemg]

I'm not sure that living together avoids all those messy legal entanglements ?

 

[My Dream]

Never lived together, and only married once, so I'm in no way any expert, but I always thought (in Canada anyway) if you live together for atleast 2 years, legally it was pretty well the same as being married. As far as parting ways if you know what I mean. Can't put it in words today.

 

[Zoocat]

I'm not sure that living together avoids all those messy legal entanglements ?

What legal entanglements would living together involve, especially for folks at our age?

 

[haha]

Both writers are therefore assuming that gay people don't have kids. In fact 60% of gay households are now raising children ...

This does not sound possible, unless you are using some odd definition of household. Not even 60% of all households are raising children. It would be strange indeed if gays were raising proportionately more children than the entire population of gays and straights taken together.

If your assertion is indeed true, please provide some evidence, as I think this would be a revolutionary social change and would at the very least argue strongly for not only allowing but fostering gay marriage in every jurisdiction.

Ha

 

[My Dream]

What legal entanglements would living together involve, especially for folks at our age?

When people divorce and there's no disputing custody of kids then isn't the battle about who gets what financially? In Canada I believe that after 2 years living common law, its 50, 50 anyway? So it doesn’t matter whether you’re married or not you still split it equally. That’s what I was trying to get at.

 

[Brat]

The issue that could arise is whether or not promises were made. Complications arise when a domestic associate/room mate is introduced as something more than a friend. "Common Law Marriage" is pretty much gone in the USA. I recall a lady friend who lived with guy for 12 years before he suddenly died, but hadn't lived in a state that with "common law marriage" long enough to establish a marriage. She got nothing from his pension.

Before I let a someone move in with me I would have the terms reduced to writing and photo my household before they moved in to establish what stuff is mine (wouldn't necessarily share that).

Suppose you need to move or the arrangement is no longer suitable, can you force the friend to leave without eviction? If you are renting check your lease.

When we were young life was so much simpler because our assets were minimal.