Social Situation: What Would You Do?

[aaronc879]

I think it depends on how the "friend" asked for it back. Did she say "GIVE IT BACK" or did she say "i'd really like the treadmill back so I can give it to my daughter who really needs one...please". If she asked nicely not like you owed it to her then i'd give it back graciously otherwise it's yours not hers and you don't owe her anything.

 

[MovingtotheCove]

Strange how someone thinks they can "re-claim" their item after giving it away. I'd fume and fuss a bit and then decide to stick with the motto of "pick your battles" and carefully help them get it moved out and simply forget about it....life's too short.

 

[Martha]

Interesting dialog. An ethical dilemma. I could even see a friend of DW pulling the same stunt. I would say:

"As you may recall, it was not working when you gave it to me. However, even with the cost and effort of repairing it, I have enjoyed its use for two years and you are welcome to come and get it. I recommend you hire a moving company as it is too heavy and bulky for you to move yourselves."

Perfect. It assertively states the facts ("gave it to me") and yet takes the high road.

 

[Goonie]

You could always get someone to help you load into a pickup truck, and deliver it for her. And as you get ready to pull into her driveway, goose the gas a little too much and watch in the rearview mirror as it "accidentally" falls out of the truck bed, and onto the pavement. OOOPS!!!

I have a friend that did that with a big ol' stove one time...it was one of those stoves that has an overhead oven in addition to the normal oven. He turned onto the road he was supposed to, and the tie-downs must have slipped or something (wink-wink, nod-nod), and it "accidentally" went careening off the back of the truck and along the road for about 20 feet. He stopped, and they loaded it back on the truck....in several pieces! All he could say when he got it to it's destination was "Dang, I'm really sorry 'bout that!"

 

[Achiever51]

Your husband is a class act.

Thanks! I agree -- my initial reaction was to tell the neighbor to pound salt...or have the neighborhood kids T.P. their bushes, but DH's more rational head prevailed. Not the first -- or last -- time, incidentally.

 

[summer2007]

T-Al

You are hilarious! That fattie comment had me cracking up!

Anyway I learned a long time ago to be cautious about accepting things from others.

Since this was a family issue I will make it vague in case anyone knows who I am.

There was a person who died in our family and they gave away some of his stuff before the house was sold. I was asked if I wanted an item that would cost about I don't know $300 or so. I didn't think anything of it and took the item.

Well this ticked off one of my other family members who wanted the item not for himself but to give to someone that is not even a blood relative. So I got pestered about this item for YEARS I was asked like 20 times about it and my parents were also pestered about it. I would have just given it up but I knew it would go to someone who is not even family anyway and I used the item. Not to mention this person had also took way more of the deceased relatives stuff than I taken already....and other than one other item that was worth about $10 this was all I took.

My lesson learned is not to take anything just buy what you need with your own money. I got more than $300 worth of grief out of that item!

But what to do now...just give it back and help them carry it out. I would be very cautious about this person from now on for sure though........that is just really rude behavior on their part!

Jim

 

[dex]

OK Al, the Jury has spoken - what will it be?

 

[W2R]

one of my other family members who wanted the item not for himself but to give to someone that is not even a blood relative. So I got pestered about this item for YEARS I was asked like 20 times about it and my parents were also pestered about it. I would have just given it up but I knew it would go to someone who is not even family anyway and I used the item. Not to mention this person had also took way more of the deceased relatives stuff than I taken already....and other than one other item that was worth about $10 this was all I took.

My lesson learned is not to take anything just buy what you need with your own money. I got more than $300 worth of grief out of that item!

Unfortunately, that is so typical. When my mother passed away, I didn't take any of her things, because others wanted them and I just didn't have the heart to get into all of that.

But when visiting me last spring, my brother brought me something that meant a lot more to me. It was a little white handkerchief she had, with red hearts on it. I had bought it for her for Valentine's day, 1956 when I was 8 years old. It cost $1 and I saved my entire allowance, a quarter each week, for four weeks to buy it; thank goodness the storekeeper didn't charge me tax since I didn't have it.

I had no idea that she had kept it all these years. I was so touched.

 

[summer2007]

Want2retire

I Know!

I think a few people have been insulted that I turned down things but I learned my lesson.

I had a nasty neighbor that lived across the street from me. She basically was a total trouble maker and sued everyone. Her own daughter hardly interacted with her because she was so awful. So when my neighbor finally has to be moved to a home to be cared for her daughter sells her house.

So my neighbors daughter just starts taking stuff out of her house and put it over on my porch. She then calls me and says she is giving me this stuff because of all the times I helped out her mother. I didn't even get asked if I wanted these items they just showed up on my porch.

So a few weeks later her Mother (my nasty neighbor) calls me from her new old folks home and wants me to bring some of the stuff back to her and is all upset!

I was so glad she moved away and even after she moved away she was still causing grief.


Same thing with my family. I was like 24 years old and I was asked if I wanted the roughly $300 item. At the time I didn't think anything of it. Looking back I wish I would have just said "Thanks but that's ok!"

So yeah I learned my lesson about accepting things like that!


Jim

 

[Nords]

Recently, the friend tells DW that she'd like the treadmill back to give to her daughter.

I'd let your spouse make the decision: "Whatever you want to do, honey, but is it possible that you need a new best friend?"

If that marital complication wasn't in the picture and it was just between me and my own best friend, I'd have to say that I'd never expect a friend to turn on me like that.

But if one did then I'd comment: "Well, I was under the impression that you'd given it to me because you'd decided it wasn't worth repairing. I put the troubleshooting time & effort into figuring out the problem and fixing it, and I think that gives me the ownership rights. But if you think this is worth testing a friendship then you can have it-- because I'm not interested in putting a price on our friendship by having this come between us. Please bring your own handcart & truck."

And then I guess I'd turn my attention to finding another best friend...

 

[laurence]

I second Nords post. Revenge won't do anything but upset DW, but just taking it in the pants from them will leave you gnawing on it. An open, honest and civil conversation confronting the couple with the facts is the best bet. If they are really your friends they'll engage with you, and think twice about what they give away, so you can avoid this in the future. If you are courteous and fair in your actions and they freak out about it, this at least will give DW some food for thought on this friendship.

All my friends are flawed, as I am. How much does this incident tilt the scales?

 

[TromboneAl]

OK Al, the Jury has spoken - what will it be?

I will graciously and smilingly let them have it back, as long as they do the moving. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it." I will say "no thanks" to that.

I'll keep you posted.

 

[REWahoo]

They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it."

OK Al, that opens up another opportunity for you.

Respond to the offer above with "I've had lots of requests to fix things for people since I retired and realized they were simply taking advantage of me. I now charge $50 an hour plus parts for repairs, with a one hour minimum. I'd be happy to look at your new treadmill for you. Only took me a couple of hours to fix the old one."

 

[samclem]

. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it."

That's a hoot! Chutzpah indeed.

 

[ls99]

I will graciously and smilingly let them have it back, as long as they do the moving. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it." I will say "no thanks" to that.

I'll keep you posted.

Can't help it, truly admire the generosity.

 

[FUEGO]

Al, is this the same friend who lives in the $1.3 million house and who's husband has a clandestine gambling problem? Maybe they need the treadmill more than you!

 

[Coach]

Al, I'll vote with the give it back with a smile crowd.

You learned something about these folks at a pretty cheap price, take the knowledge and run.

Coach

 

[NW-Bound]

I will graciously and smilingly let them have it back, as long as they do the moving. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it." I will say "no thanks" to that.

I always find it interesting that some people can be so socially inept.

Imagine how nicer it could have worked out if they said "Al, our new threadmill is broken. Can you take a look to see if it could be fixed?".

Same as you, I would let them have the threadmill back in working condition, while mentioning that I understood that it was a gift for me to fix and keep.

I also make a note to stay away from such people.

 

[Meadbh]

I will graciously and smilingly let them have it back, as long as they do the moving. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it." I will say "no thanks" to that.

I'll keep you posted.

That's a hoot! These people are poster children for a throwaway society with refunds. They can't be bothered to to fix things themselves, or get them fixed. Instead, they use friends as a dumping ground. And that is exactly what they are trying to do: use you and DW.

 

[TromboneAl]

Al, is this the same friend who lives in the $1.3 million house and who's husband has a clandestine gambling problem? Maybe they need the treadmill more than you!

No, it's this couple.

 

[freebird5825]

I will graciously and smilingly let them have it back, as long as they do the moving. They also said we could have their new treadmill, "which is broken but perhaps you can fix it." I will say "no thanks" to that.

I'll keep you posted.

I'm almost afraid to ask...but what the heck.
What exactly are these people doing on their treadmills that they broke 2 in a row? Inquiring minds want to know.

BTW, it's a very good idea to close up shop at "Al's Treadmill Repair".

 

[samclem]

What exactly are these people doing on their treadmills that they broke 2 in a row? Inquiring minds want to know.

I had to do it.

"OK Go" on treadmills

 

[freebird5825]

I had to do it.

oh my face hurts from laughing!

Al, you now have your gameplan!

 

[deserat]

I love that song and that video - awesome! T-Al - did you fix theirs. too?

B

 

[Bestwifeever]

Awesome, Sam--now please, we need a video of Al on the trombone and on the treadmill....