Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-21-2015, 05:52 PM   #41
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Utrecht
Posts: 2,204
I've been saying I'm on a sabbatical recently.

That doesn't seem to work though, as the next question is then: what did you do before?

And then I have to talk about the consulting business I had for 2 years. Even more confusion.

Not to mention the question I see popping in their heads: Is this guy rich from selling his business?

Guess I need some more practice in socializing.
__________________

__________________
Totoro is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 05-21-2015, 06:00 PM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
+1

This works well for me. Seems like it's best to say right up front "I'm an XYZ consultant" where XYZ is something you've done in the past and have some knowledge of.
True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.
__________________

__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2015, 06:51 PM   #43
Full time employment: Posting here.
Sojourner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Music Lover View Post
I find it disappointing that so many people feel the need to fudge or stretch the truth when the question comes up. I can see doing so when you're looking to avoid moochers, but retiring early is something to be proud of.

If someone asks you for money, simply tell them that you budgeted for your retirement but not for their expenses.
For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.
__________________
Sojourner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2015, 07:10 PM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.
I view the fudge as a lot more polite than "MYOFB."
__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2015, 07:18 PM   #45
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
grasshopper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,669
After 10 years of ER no one asks anymore.

nobuddy.JPG
__________________
For me experiences are not good or bad, just different
grasshopper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2015, 11:59 PM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,456
I'll see what I answer on this trip.

Europeans don't ask that question. It's them pesky Americans.....

What do I do? Oh - you mean for a living? I don't.

I am so tempted to answer the above, but probably won't.
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 08:01 AM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,874
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.
Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 08:10 AM   #48
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 152
Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345 View Post
True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.
If you really want to cut it short tell them you are an investigator for the IRS.
__________________
user5027 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 08:11 AM   #49
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,856
How much I say in my reply depends on how well I know the person and how long I have known the person asking. I won't hesitate to include my volunteer work and my expanded hobbies in my reply. As for how I "did it," I will often say, "no kids, no debts." I will often say I cashed in a lot of valuable company stock. If it seems like I am bragging a bit, so be it. They asked the question, they took the risk of a somewhat conceited reply.


I haven't bought a car since I ERed; the last car I bought was in 2007 when I was still working (part-time). I didn't wear any specific clothing, just my typical semi-casual, semi-slob outfits!


BTW great thread, great variety of replies.
__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.

"I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"
scrabbler1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 09:12 AM   #50
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,456
DH calls it sabbatical, and when pressed, says he's living off his still-working wife. He can look busier doing nothing than just about anyone I know, though, so I doubt he gets asked too much.

And grasshopper, in that hat, I'm pretty sure no one is asking you what you do for a living, lol!
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 09:20 AM   #51
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocky Inlets
Posts: 24,412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
He can look busier doing nothing than just about anyone I know
That's a gift. Maybe he could share the secret or give classes? He doesn't have to charge, it could be his contribution to ER'dom ..
__________________
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 09:30 AM   #52
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,268
Ive been to about 10 different doctors, MRI offices, surgery centers in the past 3 months. They all asked who my employer is. I told them all that I was retired. Everyone one of them looked at me like I was crazy and said I was too young to retire. I usually say I'm older than I look, which I am. The friendly ones asked what I used to do but most of them were just trying to get the paperwork filled out.
__________________
utrecht is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 10:01 AM   #53
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 620
When someone asked me if I'm retired, I respond "for now I am." That leaves them thinking that I'm considering going back to w*rk at some point and they shut up. It also does not convey whether I'm FI or whether I will need to go back to w*rk for financial reasons, which I like because my financial status is nobody else's business.
__________________
Which Roger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 10:04 AM   #54
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
pb4uski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Vermont & Sarasota, FL
Posts: 16,407
It took me a while, but now I am quite comfortable just saying "I'm retired". I don't get a lot of follow-up questions so I'm not sure if I look old enough to be retired or if they just think that I retired early.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
pb4uski is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 10:07 AM   #55
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jollystomper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,357
I have a brother who is retired that responds with "Independent Consultant" and even has business cards with that on it. If asked further on "what do you consult on", he responds with "anything you want to pay me for to get my opinion".
__________________
Current target FIRE date: Under negotiation, can happen anytime.
jollystomper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 10:15 AM   #56
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Major Tom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 3,128
It's been a while since this question came up. (I am now waiting for the next "What's your WR" thread ) But seriously.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by travelover View Post
Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
But this is really about your reaction, not theirs. It really shouldn't matter much how others react, you should be able to take it in stride given the surprise element above.

We've all experienced it, many resort to euphemisms or changing the subject if it bothers them. If that works for you, go for it.
+1 to both of these. Tell them whatever you feel is best, to get you through the day - and congratulations on ER'ing!
__________________
ER, for all intents and purposes. Part-time income <5% of annual expenditure.
Major Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 01:20 PM   #57
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 427
Yes, men deal with this same issue.

Sent from my SM-T237P using Early Retirement Forum mobile app
__________________
AnIntentionalRoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 04:54 PM   #58
Recycles dryer sheets
truenorth418's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 482
Like some others here, I sometimes fudge if I want to be considerate and not be seen as bragging. However, I find this sometimes leads the other person down the wrong path, and they ask me a bunch of irrelevant follow up questions about "consulting" or "hiatus", which is simply not the reality.

The truth is, achieving ER was a long-time goal of mine (though one I largely kept to myself) and one of my proudest achievements. And so, recently, I have become much more comfortable and open about it with people, sometimes even defiant.

One recent weekday afternoon I was lounging around in my neighborhood Starbucks reading my Kindle and this guy came up with an iPad and asked me to participate in a survey. I pushed back at first, but he was persistent and said it would only be a few short questions, so I said fine, whatever.

At the end of the survey, he asked me a few demographic questions, including "What is your occupation?".

I said, "I'm retired."

He looked at me, rolled his eyes, clearly thinking I was yanking his chain. I am 51 years old and look my age. I looked over at the iPad, and I saw that he checked the box for "Unemployed".

I raised my voice a little and said, "Ahem, excuse me, please change that answer. I am not unemployed. I said: 'I AM RETIRED'."

And he made the change, reluctantly, but I don't think he believed me.
__________________
truenorth418 is offline   Reply With Quote
the answer of what do you do
Old 05-22-2015, 05:04 PM   #59
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
steelyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Triangle
Posts: 3,218
the answer of what do you do

Good answer, truenorth418.

I recently inquired about "benefits" for retirees. Mainly I was interested in a lifetime ".edu" email, which I figured would at least LOOK respectable.

But no, the records correctly say I resigned. I said, "Well, what about a compomise? Can you classify me as 'impeached'? I think we know how to do that around here.". The benefits person thought that was hilarious, so I was happy, email address or not.
__________________

steelyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2015, 05:19 PM   #60
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,585
For the last several years, I simply say "I'm retired." and that usually ends it. I'm at the point where I look old enough for that.

In earlier years, with someone I didn't know, I often used "I'm not working right now." and that usually stopped the conversation equally well. They just assumed I was unemployed and looking for a job.
__________________

__________________
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Your reasoning skills are better than 1/2 of all 50 year olds if you can answer this! Mulligan Other topics 16 05-28-2011 11:02 AM
Do you have to log in every time? The answer: BigMoneyJim Forum Admin 4 05-26-2007 10:13 PM
Poll: Do you answer your phone during sex? REWahoo Other topics 5 08-29-2006 12:54 AM
You want a year off but the answer is NO GTM Other topics 17 06-17-2005 07:00 PM
My new answer to 'What do you do all day'? Cut-Throat Life after FIRE 5 04-29-2005 05:31 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:03 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.