the answer of what do you do

[Big_Hitter]

well you could join a club as a social member


we moved here 4 years ago and didn't know a single person


now we know hundreds of people - several close friends among that group too

 

[Andre1969]

There were a few times where I practiced for Early Retirement by saying "I'm a financial planner", but didn't get the result I wanted. The first was said, a bit condescendingly, "Oh, so you manage other people's money and get THEM rich?"

Another asked who I work for. I think I just said "Fidelity" or whatever company popped into my mind first. And, a few people have asked for financial advise, where I just get vague and tell them stuff like "live below your means, invest for the long term, don't try to time the market" etc.

Oh, as for going into the car dealership dressed down, I did a similar thing. Went with my uncle to get his truck from the service center, and I was planning on doing some yard work later that day, so I was dressed down pretty seriously. My uncle gets this bright idea of "let's go look at the new cars" while we were there, and at the end of the day I came home with a brand new car. The way I was dressed didn't even come up. Dunno if that's because I'm a guy. Or if it was because it was a Dodge/Chevy/Isuzu dealer, and not a BMW!

 

[skipro33]

I'm a guy and learned early to have some 'fun' with my employment status now that I'm FIRE'd. I do enjoy answering that I'm financially independent. For most people around my age, I get a blank stare and an 'oh...' From younger people, I get a 'well good for you!' (In the same way you might tell a senile old man that after he finished his peas and didn't wet his pants in the process.) It's the older people I have the most trouble with. They resent that I am retired and don't have to go to work. I get lots of 'you're too young!' comments. Lots of sneers. I've worked and saved just as long as they did, I just started when I was 18 and had 35 years worth of saving and investing by 53.
Relatives gave me a mixed reaction, most harsh were BEFORE retiring, telling me how 'lucky' I was to have a job and be able to save and how they barely get by paycheck to paycheck. (All the while touting their big dollar purchases and vacations) The kind reactions were mainly of relief that I wasn't gonna be a burden on them. My kids especially are happy for us as it means we won't be moving in with them and they won't be making decisions on our quality of life as we get older as running out of money is pretty remote of a chance.

I do get some folks who try to guilt me into doing their bidding; help them with projects and such. But I am not the guilt ridden type. A quick; "sorry but I'm booked solid for several weeks. I need to go back to work to find some free time since I've retired!"

 

[TimSF]

I retired at 50 from a law practice. When I get these questions, I respond with one or more of the following:
* I am teaching (true, one course a year at a community college)
* I am consulting (I talk on occasion with former law partners about ongoing cases, unpaid)
* I have given myself a sabbatical as I ponder how to spend the next 20 years of my life
* I am working with non-profits (I volunteer on a few boards)
* I am a house-husband while we focus on my (younger) spouse's new career transition
* I am retooling for a new career (learning new law stuff that I enjoy)

Funny, how you can make stuff you like to do sound like a job to other people.

 

[Silver]

I would probably answer that "I was previously a ___________, but I worked hard, saved smart, and now am enjoying my freedom."

 

[LinCella]

I just say I'm retired and then I do get the "you're too young" bit. I omit that I have a good pension and paid medical, no need to rub it in. Basically I say I wanted to enjoy my life and that life is short. They all assume I retired with lots of money which, on a City pension is not true, but I made the decision that I had enough to enjoy my life and not take orders from other people.

 

[FIREd]

I take my cue from the younger generation. I see a lot of social media profiles that look like this: Brian Smith - entrepreneur, musician, benefactor, patron of the art. It sounds awesome but the level of entry for any of those titles is so low that almost anyone can do this! Entrepreneur = I sell rubber duckies on Etsy! Musician = I play the tambourine! Benefactor = I help at the soup kitchen once a month. Patron of the art = I give $2 a month to my favorite Youtube artist via Patreon.

 

[FUEGO]

I hardly ever get asked this question.

Most of the time one or more of my kids are around and they ask "So you take care of the kids?" My usual reply is "yep" unless I feel like explaining much more.

Since DW has been on sabbatical for 2 weeks (out of 13), I don't think anyone has asked either one of us why we're always out and about, walking around, going swimming, lounging at the park, volunteering at the kids' school together, etc. Our friends and family already know what's up, and I guess we dress down enough that it doesn't draw a lot of attention.

But if pressed, I'm a writer (that's what I told the IRS on my 1040), "doing some freelance work", running a small web site, doing some odd jobs, taking some time off from full time work, taking care of the kids, and sometimes retired. Just depends on what kind of impression I want to leave. Most of the time I'm content as just another regular guy just like everyone else.

The rare times I've mentioned I'm retired to someone who isn't part of the FIRE community, it's been a complete non-event. Maybe it's so ridiculous as to be unbelievable, or maybe there's enough tech types and artsy folks and 40-something retired LEO and government workers that it's not a big deal any more.

 

[Amethyst]

That is just sales tactics, I think, and doesn't have anything to do with what you "look like." Many years, ago, we (respectable-looking couple) bought a not-terribly-expensive new car with cash. The salespeople could not seem to stop trying to talk us into a lease, even though we made it clear we could write them a doggoned check right then and there.

when it came time to discussing purchase, at least 3 different times it was apparent they assumed I was either leasing or financing.

 

[Amethyst]

I hear this, too, but it's always meant as a compliment and that's how I take it - just people being nice.

Amethyst

I just say I'm retired and then I do get the "you're too young" bit.

 

[Which Roger]

I earn interest by loaning money to corporations and governments and am part owner of many companies.

 

[Sojourner]

Just tell them you are a consultant. That is so vague that it could mean almost anything. If they ask anything further, make some vague mumbles about your past profession. Most people are just making conversation and don't really care/wish to judge you. If they are obnoxious about it and you do not care about the relationship, tell them you are unemployed and ask them for a "loan."

+1

This works well for me. Seems like it's best to say right up front "I'm an XYZ consultant" where XYZ is something you've done in the past and have some knowledge of.

 

[kcowan]

After 13 years, I have gotten good at it. Usually it is just small talk. And I return it. Often in a self-deprecating way. (I was a CEO of a small company that was taken over.)

But once in a while. people seem really interested so I tell them my story. (I wanted to ensure that I would have 30 years for myself.)

 

[Music Lover]

I find it disappointing that so many people feel the need to fudge or stretch the truth when the question comes up. I can see doing so when you're looking to avoid moochers, but retiring early is something to be proud of.

If someone asks you for money, simply tell them that you budgeted for your retirement but not for their expenses.

 

[pb4uski]

....Granted, I did get the test drive but when it came time to discussing purchase, at least 3 different times it was apparent they assumed I was either leasing or financing.

That is a lot better than one dealer I bought a car from. After we had agreed on the price I told them that I wanted to pay for it by check (no lease, no financing) and they had to caucus to figure out how they could do that.

The found a way..

 

[Totoro]

I've been saying I'm on a sabbatical recently.

That doesn't seem to work though, as the next question is then: what did you do before?

And then I have to talk about the consulting business I had for 2 years. Even more confusion.

Not to mention the question I see popping in their heads: Is this guy rich from selling his business?

Guess I need some more practice in socializing.

 

[brewer12345]

+1

This works well for me. Seems like it's best to say right up front "I'm an XYZ consultant" where XYZ is something you've done in the past and have some knowledge of.

True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.

 

[Sojourner]

I find it disappointing that so many people feel the need to fudge or stretch the truth when the question comes up. I can see doing so when you're looking to avoid moochers, but retiring early is something to be proud of.

If someone asks you for money, simply tell them that you budgeted for your retirement but not for their expenses.

For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

 

[brewer12345]

For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

I view the fudge as a lot more polite than "MYOFB."

 

[grasshopper]

After 10 years of ER no one asks anymore.

 

[audreyh1]

I'll see what I answer on this trip.

Europeans don't ask that question. It's them pesky Americans.....

What do I do? Oh - you mean for a living? I don't.

I am so tempted to answer the above, but probably won't.

 

[travelover]

For me, the "fudging" is an easy and (I feel) socially considerate way to avoid what could be taken by many people as something akin to bragging about my financial status. Saying "Oh, I'm retired" could very readily be interpreted as having said "I am a millionaire, so I don't need to work any longer." I have always been really careful about making any statements hinting at my high net worth, so a think a little polite fudging is usually appropriate.

Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.

 

[user5027]

True. When I tell people I am a regulatory consultant that usually stops that line of inquiry cold.

If you really want to cut it short tell them you are an investigator for the IRS.

 

[scrabbler1]

How much I say in my reply depends on how well I know the person and how long I have known the person asking. I won't hesitate to include my volunteer work and my expanded hobbies in my reply. As for how I "did it," I will often say, "no kids, no debts." I will often say I cashed in a lot of valuable company stock. If it seems like I am bragging a bit, so be it. They asked the question, they took the risk of a somewhat conceited reply.


I haven't bought a car since I ERed; the last car I bought was in 2007 when I was still working (part-time). I didn't wear any specific clothing, just my typical semi-casual, semi-slob outfits!


BTW great thread, great variety of replies.

 

[Sarah in SC]

DH calls it sabbatical, and when pressed, says he's living off his still-working wife. He can look busier doing nothing than just about anyone I know, though, so I doubt he gets asked too much.

And grasshopper, in that hat, I'm pretty sure no one is asking you what you do for a living, lol!