the answer of what do you do

Ive been to about 10 different doctors, MRI offices, surgery centers in the past 3 months. They all asked who my employer is. I told them all that I was retired. Everyone one of them looked at me like I was crazy and said I was too young to retire. I usually say I'm older than I look, which I am. The friendly ones asked what I used to do but most of them were just trying to get the paperwork filled out.
 
When someone asked me if I'm retired, I respond "for now I am." That leaves them thinking that I'm considering going back to w*rk at some point and they shut up. It also does not convey whether I'm FI or whether I will need to go back to w*rk for financial reasons, which I like because my financial status is nobody else's business.
 
It took me a while, but now I am quite comfortable just saying "I'm retired". I don't get a lot of follow-up questions so I'm not sure if I look old enough to be retired or if they just think that I retired early.
 
I have a brother who is retired that responds with "Independent Consultant" and even has business cards with that on it. If asked further on "what do you consult on", he responds with "anything you want to pay me for to get my opinion".
 
It's been a while since this question came up. (I am now waiting for the next "What's your WR" thread :LOL: ) But seriously.........

travelover said:
Very true. I think that our natural initial reaction is to feel like our work ethic is being scrutinized, but in reality the questioner is just trying to square their situation with our own.
Click to expand...

Midpack said:
But this is really about your reaction, not theirs. It really shouldn't matter much how others react, you should be able to take it in stride given the surprise element above.

We've all experienced it, many resort to euphemisms or changing the subject if it bothers them. If that works for you, go for it.
Click to expand...

+1 to both of these. Tell them whatever you feel is best, to get you through the day - and congratulations on ER'ing!
 
Like some others here, I sometimes fudge if I want to be considerate and not be seen as bragging. However, I find this sometimes leads the other person down the wrong path, and they ask me a bunch of irrelevant follow up questions about "consulting" or "hiatus", which is simply not the reality.

The truth is, achieving ER was a long-time goal of mine (though one I largely kept to myself) and one of my proudest achievements. And so, recently, I have become much more comfortable and open about it with people, sometimes even defiant.

One recent weekday afternoon I was lounging around in my neighborhood Starbucks reading my Kindle and this guy came up with an iPad and asked me to participate in a survey. I pushed back at first, but he was persistent and said it would only be a few short questions, so I said fine, whatever.

At the end of the survey, he asked me a few demographic questions, including "What is your occupation?".

I said, "I'm retired."

He looked at me, rolled his eyes, clearly thinking I was yanking his chain. I am 51 years old and look my age. I looked over at the iPad, and I saw that he checked the box for "Unemployed".

I raised my voice a little and said, "Ahem, excuse me, please change that answer. I am not unemployed. I said: 'I AM RETIRED'."

And he made the change, reluctantly, but I don't think he believed me. :cool:
 
Good answer, truenorth418.

I recently inquired about "benefits" for retirees. Mainly I was interested in a lifetime ".edu" email, which I figured would at least LOOK respectable.

But no, the records correctly say I resigned. I said, "Well, what about a compomise? Can you classify me as 'impeached'? I think we know how to do that around here.". The benefits person thought that was hilarious, so I was happy, email address or not.
 
For the last several years, I simply say "I'm retired." and that usually ends it. I'm at the point where I look old enough for that.

In earlier years, with someone I didn't know, I often used "I'm not working right now." and that usually stopped the conversation equally well. They just assumed I was unemployed and looking for a job.
 
audreyh1 said:
I'll see what I answer on this trip. ;)

Europeans don't ask that question. It's them pesky Americans....
Click to expand...

Not only do they not ask it in much of Europe, it is considered rude and nosy and boring to ask about another person's work.





Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
Hi Karen, someone actually said ' it must be nice to inherit money '?! Thats gotta be one of the rudest and presumptious comments ever :nonono:. I would laughed and walked away from that clown.
I got lots of questions and reactions when I retired at 49. Im 58 now and look the part of retired more now. I used to say I got lucky with some investments, people seem to like that more than telling them you saved for 30 years.....Prob because then they may be able to do it also. The thought of saving for 30 years does not appeal to many!
Congrats for getting free so young! Must be nice to have a rich husband :D
 
Midpack said:
After the first few exchanges, it hasn't bothered me how others react. I realize others don't know what to say, and how they might react isn't very important to me...
Click to expand...

+1

Sometimes I think that being recognized for the accomplishment of attaining "FIRE'd" status young is really important to many. Some are actually anxious to bring it up in conversation as an opening to achieve recognition. No wonder they are disappointed when others don't immediately recognize the value of their accomplishment and say so.

Everyone supports themselves in different ways. Full time workers. Part time workers. Stay-at-home moms and dads. Entrepreneurs of all shapes and sizes. Folks with inherited wealth. Folks who've accumulated weath and/or pensions. And all combinations of all of those. When you're young and are able to support yourself exclusively on passive income, it's a surprise to many because it's fairly rare. As you say Midpack, it shouldn't be a surprise that people are surprised.


I enjoy diversity in people. For example, an entrepreneur still running their business at 70 years of age because they love it is as interesting to me as someone who cashed in options from early employment at a startup, etc. You're just less likely to get details from a FIRE'd person. It's appropriate (in the USA) to say "I'm employed as the machine shop foreman at MegaCorp" but not appropriate to say "I'm living off passive income generated from a portfolio worth $X and a 3% withdrawal rate."
 
Last edited:
grasshopper said:
After 10 years of ER no one asks anymore.

View attachment 21729
Click to expand...

Yes! That's my status at the 9 year point. I FIRE'd at 58 and am now 67. 58 was, of course, plenty old to avoid most of the "how did you do that" inquires. And now at 67, most would be surprised if I wasn't retired or semi-retired. Being retired is the expected answer.

Now the question is more likely to be "what have you learned from living off passive income for the past 9 years and solving other issues like health insurance and getting through the Great Recession?"
 
I think a lot depends on how old/young you look, and the type of people you live around. I'm now 74, and to date no one has assumed that I am retired, though I am many years beyond looking young. I guess it is too expensive to live here, people assume that if you retire you must be truly rich and if you are rich, why aren't you living in Medina or Washington Park or something?

Also, I am an active investor, and people in my building almost all know that I work almost every morning. They don't know that I rarely make a portfolio change; in fact I want them to believe that I do rapid fire trading (about which I know nothing and for which I definitely have no talent).

I do not want people to know/think that I have any money. I don't want anyone to know my former profession, or anything else that might suggest to them money. Young woman across the hall from me got back tired from a recent business trip. She often brings my paper WSJ into our landing. She said, "how can I get you to give me some money?"

I don't even want to think about this, and I definitely do not want her to think about it.

Ha
 
karen1972 said:
Maybe I'm over sensitive because I'm a woman and often wonder if I was a guy if you get the same crap. .
Click to expand...

After thinking about your OP Karen, it's possible you are a bit over sensitive about the "what do you do for a living" question. That's perfectly OK and not unexpected. I bet a decade from now, when you'll still be young enough to be considered an early retiree, the same comments will flow off your back without leaving a bad feeling behind.

I retired too old to share your experiences. At 58, no one would be shocked/surprised that I was retired. But I did work as a manager. Whenever the subject of "what do you do for a living?" came up and I mentioned that, the frowns and looks of disapproval from the non-management crowd always appeared. But I got used to it and you will too. It's just people and a situation not worth you taking to heart.
 
kcowan said:
LOL I used to say that I was a Private Portfolio Manager. If people asked anything further, I simply said it was private.
Click to expand...

That can be quite useful.
Once upon a time, I had a job in the military that was classified to the extent that all I could say was "Sorry, I can't talk about it."

I'm sure there are others with even more highly classified jobs who use good cover stories, but that one was kind of fun for me for a year or so.
 
Donzo said:
Hi Karen, someone actually said ' it must be nice to inherit money '?! Thats gotta be one of the rudest and presumptious comments ever
Click to expand...

'Round these parts, trust funders and 'old' or 'family money' are fairly common. Almost no one would come up with that comment.

It surely wouldn't get you invited to the next big party!
 
I guess I've been lucky - the nearest I've come to an adverse reaction is the people who predict that I'll be bored and go back to work just to have something to do. In a sense, these people know that I'm not capable of sitting around watching TV etc - I need something to keep me engaged.

If people ask, I tell them we both work part time (very part time) so we can spend more time with our daughters and/or that I was taking something of an extended sabbatical from my legal practice so I could do a post-grad degree. The later has now run its course, so I'll have to think of something else (or not - I don't really care what other people think).
 
Avocadorunner said:
I will never buy a car directly from a dealership again after using True Car through Amex. https://amexnetwork.truecar.com/mai... car&mp_mt=e&gclid=CLy3hYGS48UCFQOUfgodqiwAKQ .

Costco also has an auto buying service. My employee saved over $3K from the best price he found at three dealers and they even offered to deliver the truck to his home.
Click to expand...
It is better than walking in and dealing face to face with game players, but you can get Truecar price information (for free), then negotiate down from there, if you have the patience. After all, if you take the Truecar price, they have to pay Truecar a portion of the total.
 
Avocadorunner said:
I will never buy a car directly from a dealership again after using True Car through Amex. https://amexnetwork.truecar.com/mai... car&mp_mt=e&gclid=CLy3hYGS48UCFQOUfgodqiwAKQ .

Costco also has an auto buying service. My employee saved over $3K from the best price he found at three dealers and they even offered to deliver the truck to his home.
Click to expand...

I went to this site and selected a car. Then I went to Edmunds.com and found the same car, same features. The price Edmunds shows as a "Price Promise" is $2400 lower. When I buy cars I always use Edmunds and in the past, Ive been able to buy cars about $1000 lower than the Edmunds target price. It doesnt look to me like the AMEX buying service is all that great.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Do you want to manage it?
2
Replies
31
Views
2K
djsander
D
M
Do You Have an Air Fryer?
2 3 4
Replies
80
Views
5K
MC Rider
M
G
What do you think?
Replies
11
Views
1K
Goodprovider
G
B
Does everyone but me do the 30k, 60k, etc car maint?
2 3 4
Replies
99
Views
5K
misanman
misanman
B
How much do you spend per month on fitness?
2 3
Replies
58
Views
1K
badatmath
B

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom