Why don't more people just quit?

[TromboneAl]

QUESTION to ALL:  What are your plans if the free-spending, non-saving kids / relatives / others you care about find themselves in trouble?  

Excellent question.  I'm pretty sure I will tell them they are on their own.   I've taken some small steps in order to to help prevent this.

SISTER 1

Double modest income with two kids, but spends like sailor.  Expensive home, big vacations, tons of stuff.   Always spending, remodeling, etc.  I've refrained from giving her advice (other than "wow, can you really afford all this?"), but I recently bought her Brennan's book "Straight talk on Investing."  I think that may help, but she probably won't need handouts anyway.

SISTER 2

Didn't save much, then married a rich person late in life.  

SISTER 3

Single mom, artist type, never had a real job until three years ago.  Life savings of $2,000, no house, 59 years old.  New job of $47,000 per year for three years and she's saved nothing.  

She came to me over Christmas vacation and asked me to help her start saving, and I started her on automatic investments to a Roth Vanguard Target Retirement fund.  Note that I gave her written warnings that she should see a real financial planner, and I was just getting her started.   That way I hope to avoid the pitfalls of giving investment advice.

But one month later she emailed to say that she canceled the automatic investments but will be sending off "as much as she can."

So that's a train wreck waiting to happen.   A good chance that she'll come to me some day for a "loan."  Who knows?

 

[Eagle43]

Martha: I have developed the same policy that the military uses re: Gays, "Don't ask, Don't Tell, with my two children.
I left home at 17, (attempting to escape the rural poverty that I was raised in).
My children had the "disadvantage" of not knowing what grinding poverty can do to your Psychic, and the motivation that it gives you to do what it takes to avoid having to live like that again.
Both of my kids have never been lazy, and have done well in the earning dept., but they spend every dime they make, and so up to about 5 years ago, every time we got together, (They both live a distance away), before the visit was over, there was a period of "high tension", (brought on by yours truly) regarding their "high consumption life style".
When we get together now, we have a good visit, and as long as I can fight off the impulse to give them "unsolicited advice", it goes well.

Jarhead, I did the same. Never forget poverty. I have two daughters. One of them and her husband cannot keep a dollar. It's gotta be spent and they live a more expensive lifestyle than I do. What would I do if they really got in trouble. Well, I have extra bedrooms and plenty of food. No money, though, until I see some selling of the high-dollar items (cars, boat, big tv, etc.) I have counselled them to LBYM. I have also told them repeatedly to save 10% of their income. Ain't gonna happen. If they won't listen, well, we'll take the bedroom upstairs and they can have ours.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

I have mixed emotions about kids. On the one hand
I feel like I would do about anything to help them.
OTOH, I remember when my son was continuously in
trouble and I told him, "Next time, don't call me!"
So far, he hasn't.

JG

 

[BUM]

I will always "be there" for my family. BUT that doesnt mean open access to the checkbook....esp now that I'm ER'ed. Its a matter of how you help.

On Suze Orman the other night a dopey daughter ran up thousands of dollars on credit cards and couldnt handle the pressure of the creditors demands, phone harassment, etc. So mom and dad bail the kid out. The kid pays a few hundred bucks then then goes shopping again! Mom and Dad freak out every time the kid shows up with a new outfit.

Suze finally asks the kid "Whom would rather owe, the cc company or your parents?" Kid says,"The company of course. Owing the parents screws up everything relationshipwise."

So who got helped? Sometimes its better to let them find their own way. Solving all kids problems leads to kids with no prblem solving skills.

 

[unclemick]

Like my dear old Dad said way back when I first got my drivers license - DO NOT call me from jail.

With adulthood comes responsibility.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Hey unclemick! I told my son exactly the same thing.
Subsequently he did call me from jail. I got out of bed in the middle of the night, drove downtown and got him out. They are always your kids no matter what.
BTW, he turned out great. Just needed to grow up.

JG

 

[unclemick]

Ah yes - I remember my one and only stolen car(age 16).

After being grounded(in SUMMER!). Pushed the family car around the corner with a couple of buddies, started to hop in and go riding - saw the 'old man' in the screen door. After a while, thought better of it, dropped them off and decided to go home and face the music. Cops pulled me over and while sitting in the back of the police car they patched into home to say the car had been recovered intact. I yelled 'hi Dad'. They brought me and the car home. After I got knocked off the front porch and banged around the yard a little(Dad was a 6'2" logger), the police( Primo and Quick) saved on paperwork and I confined my future transgressions to speeding tickets(which I paid).

Small town in Washington - a very long time ago.

 

[treypar]

I believe that I have FI but do not quit because my portfolio is not growing, am concerned about the unknown costa and I am paid a very good salary. Maybe next year........

 

[Mr._johngalt]

My maximum earnings and minimum effort expended
happened to coincide. I quit anyway. Never have regretted it. If you wait until all "unknowns are known"
(Rummyism) you will never do it. Remember this.............
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

JG

 

[treypar]

JG
I agree. It is difficult to leave a good paying job when my porfolio is going nowhere.

 

[Caroline]

Hmmmmm. I wonder if the fact that your portfolio is quantifiable, while your remaining lifespan is not, makes any difference to staying at work vs retiring.

Unless you're on death row you'll never KNOW how much future you have left, but this link shines a new light on the time you've already spent:

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html

I have apparently spent 17,405 days on this planet as of today... days I'll never have to spend again. That's pretty sobering.

Caroline

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Yep, 22,147 for me, and I did adjust for leap years.

JG

 

[laurence]

11,000 days for me, you think I would have learned more by now!

 

[unclemick]

22562 of which 4502 were in ER. Rock on!

 

[laurence]

My goal is to retire at 45, and I like the thought that the majority of my life will be in childhood + retirement. It don't get any better!

 

[Spanky]

A lot of seconds so far:
1642894459 seconds or 27381574 minutes or 456359 hours

Hoping for more!

 

[TromboneAl]

Don't forget that 18,000 is the new 11,000!