We just moved from Boston to Atlanta, ostensibly for my spouse's job (though at our own expense), but with a firm eye toward impending retirement. Our plan, as yet not fully realized, was to build a new life for ourselves built on strong pillars.
The first is church. We were very active at church in Boston and leaving our church family behind was the biggest loss from our old life. We joined a new church this past weekend, one we deliberately scouted out before we made the decision to move, and we have strong hopes that we will find not just faith development and a fulfilled sense of purpose there, but also the same sense of family that we had with many folks at our prior church.
The second is community. Here we're treading new ground. While we knew the names of some of our neighbors in Boston, we want to try to make a better go of it here in the Atlanta area. We're hitting the same obstacles that we hit up north - neighbors who have little interest in getting to know their neighbors - but hopefully our continued efforts will bear fruit. It has been winter, of course, and even here I think folks shut themselves in until warmth returns.
The third is activity. We renewed prior, failed commitments to each other to engage in various activities for which we share interests: Our new home is a reasonable drive from beautiful parks we would love to walk and eventually hike, including engaging with the programmed groups that the parks and the city offer. We are deliberately scouting out volunteer opportunities beyond church, with an eye toward that which we would love to do once we retire.
The fourth was the social side of work. My spouse had work colleagues here (which is why we moved here), and part of the plan was to deliberately include me in work activities of a social nature (since the move meant that I would be working remotely and therefore with no work colleagues in the area). That hasn't panned out yet, though my spouse grants that it was due to lack of effort, which can be remedied.
Family is an honorable mention. We have no family in Atlanta, and came here with no friends we knew. But my spouse's family is 3 1/2 hours away, and so the move would put us within reach of my spouse's cousins, for what that was worth. The move put us a long day's drive from my family in New York, but part of the plan included a commitment to visit for a full week once a year. That actually would represent a significant increase in family time for us: From Boston, we would visit New York for a few hours, four or five times a year, max.
I don't think this can be considered advice, because it remains unfulfilled and as likely to fail as to succeed. But the message is, I feel, that friendship is such a critical part of life that it needs to be considered and planned just like others that are more traditionally factored into such decisions, i.e., affordability, culture, etc.
The first is church. We were very active at church in Boston and leaving our church family behind was the biggest loss from our old life. We joined a new church this past weekend, one we deliberately scouted out before we made the decision to move, and we have strong hopes that we will find not just faith development and a fulfilled sense of purpose there, but also the same sense of family that we had with many folks at our prior church.
The second is community. Here we're treading new ground. While we knew the names of some of our neighbors in Boston, we want to try to make a better go of it here in the Atlanta area. We're hitting the same obstacles that we hit up north - neighbors who have little interest in getting to know their neighbors - but hopefully our continued efforts will bear fruit. It has been winter, of course, and even here I think folks shut themselves in until warmth returns.
The third is activity. We renewed prior, failed commitments to each other to engage in various activities for which we share interests: Our new home is a reasonable drive from beautiful parks we would love to walk and eventually hike, including engaging with the programmed groups that the parks and the city offer. We are deliberately scouting out volunteer opportunities beyond church, with an eye toward that which we would love to do once we retire.
The fourth was the social side of work. My spouse had work colleagues here (which is why we moved here), and part of the plan was to deliberately include me in work activities of a social nature (since the move meant that I would be working remotely and therefore with no work colleagues in the area). That hasn't panned out yet, though my spouse grants that it was due to lack of effort, which can be remedied.
Family is an honorable mention. We have no family in Atlanta, and came here with no friends we knew. But my spouse's family is 3 1/2 hours away, and so the move would put us within reach of my spouse's cousins, for what that was worth. The move put us a long day's drive from my family in New York, but part of the plan included a commitment to visit for a full week once a year. That actually would represent a significant increase in family time for us: From Boston, we would visit New York for a few hours, four or five times a year, max.
I don't think this can be considered advice, because it remains unfulfilled and as likely to fail as to succeed. But the message is, I feel, that friendship is such a critical part of life that it needs to be considered and planned just like others that are more traditionally factored into such decisions, i.e., affordability, culture, etc.
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