Who gets the money when you're gone?

[aja8888]

That would be an interesting thread! Go ahead and start it .

He actually says he wouldn't but he is outoing and sociable and I think he would miss the companionship. How can you be so sure you wouldn't?

How?

Well, late in life with a nest egg, it appears to be a better situation from a tax and financial situation, if one is and stays single. This is especially true when facing assisted living/Medicaid situations. Also, one does not need to marry to have a "partner", at least that seems to be the trend anymore.

 

[FIYes]

Everything goes to DH if I die first....after that I guess it is DH's second wife, LOL. If DH goes first then I plan to leave 40% to my sister, 40% to DH's sister and ten percent to each of our two nieces.


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[Danmar]

Question I have is how are you so sure that your DH will remarry? I know I wouldn't again and I am "over 60". I suppose that topic could be a thread unto itself, but may end badly if started.

This could be an issue for us. My spouse is 7 years younger than I so will likely outlive me. My daughter is from my first marriage but she gets along great with #2. Our wills give it all to each other and daughter if we die together. I trust her to give any ultimate residual to daughter( and she has promised) but will make sure daughter gets a lot before I go just in case.

 

[RetireAge50]

Wife or me, whoever dies last. Then equally to two children.

 

[Nodak]

If there's enough left to do it the money will go to setting up a scholarship fund for science students from the local high school.

 

[pb4uski]

....He actually says he wouldn't but he is outoing and sociable and I think he would miss the companionship. How can you be so sure you wouldn't?

I would find a female companion and live in sin.

 

[fritz]

Originally Posted by fritz
They have no idea of our total net worth. Plans are in place to make them aware when one of us is gone, or when we get too old to risk handling our investments ourselves (probably won't realize it either - we are each other's safety net for this issue). They are both good with money and retirement investors as well due to my tutelage (but not to our levels due to irresponsible behavior by both son-in-laws

We aren't thrilled with either son-in-law, but trust our daughters to do the right thing with what they will inherit. Our parents (both sides) did this for us and we figure it's the right thing to do with them. Let them decide how to pass what they receive to their children. If either dies before we do - will have to adjust accordingly to see that fairness is applied for all (daughters then grandchildren is the tentative plan).

Hopefully, the irresponsible sons-in-law don't divorce your daughters.

Son-in-laws are foolish financially, but good providers and fathers. It should be enough inheritance to change their lifestyles if desired, but hopefully they'll both hang onto it and look to retire early as we did. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to not interfere.

 

[anethum]

I procrastinated for a long time before I had a will drawn up. The reason was simply that I couldn't decide where I wanted to leave my assets. A friend once said to me that he wasn't sure either, but that his best guess at any given moment was a better outcome than where his assets would end up if he died intestate.

So I finally had a will drawn up, and I partially modified it once already. I expect to partially modify it again within a few years as my thinking evolves. If I live long enough, I suspect it will be modified more significantly. At present, my estate is divided between several friends, a relative (I have no kids), and a couple of charities.

One question that I grapple with, is should I leave a bequest to a close friend or relative who I know doesn't need it, or should I favor a friend or relative who I'm not as close to, but who would benefit more significantly?

 

[jjquantz]

Our CURRENT plan is, as many have said, each other first, then to two DDs, split evenly.

However, we have been discussing the second part. Both daughters are doing much better financially than we were at their ages and have married successful individuals who are aggressively planning early retirement. In addition, we birthed them young. So, there is a fair chance that they will not need our money if either of us hangs around for any time.

Even if they didn't need it, we would probably still leave them a significant portion of what is left if they decide to have kids, to help with college and what not, but that doesn't seem to be in either daughter's plan right now.

So DW and I have started a few conversations about what non-profit/scholarship options we might choose to support if, at some point, we decide the DDs won't need our $$. If we hang on long enough to see the youngsters also become FI, we may start a conversation with them about some kind of family charitable foundation.

 

[ohyes]

This has been a timely thread for me; DH and i just signed our wills a week ago (ages 59 & 62). It feels so good to finally have that taken care of. I feel so grown-up and responsible.....after years and years of telling each other that we should write our wills.

Once the last one of us goes, the money is divided equally between the three adult kids. It will not be much.

We included a few extras, i.e. the two kids who are nice to us have thirty days to take anything out of the house they want before the house and its contents are sold. The oldest was left out of that part because....well...there are bonafide reasons. My brother is named as executor, but he is only 13 mos younger than I, so DH's and my daughter is second in line.

We put the original will in our safety deposit box, got our daughter added to the list of who can access that box and gave her a key to the box. Daughter also has a copy of the will and our youngest son has read it. There will not be much so there are no secrets. Plus, we wanted them to know about some points included in the documents- we want to be cremated, youngest son receives my wedding band and engagement ring, etc.

The attorney who completed our wills suggests updating every 3-5 years. She does not charge extra for "minor" changes.

My brother is a former practicing attorney (now a judge) and he looked over the documents for us. It all looked good to him.

It took us about six weeks to hash all of it out so that it felt "right & fair".

 

[redduck]

I'll probably leave it all to DH's next wife.

Even if DH's next wife has been his mistress for the last 12 years?

 

[kcowan]

I was somewhat joking about leaving it all to DH's next wife. Right now it would go to our two kids should we both perish in a mountain climbing accident at exactly the same time. But....

Odds are good (for all of us here who are married) that one of us will survive the other. We don't know what they would do if the estate isn't locked up in a trust that cannot ever be changed. If iDH, who has very long-lived ancestors, survives the mountain climbing accident, he will very likely remarry as he is really personable and women like him, a lot. I just asked him about this scenario and if DS and DD would still inherit. He said of course they would and he wouldn't remarry (ha!) but there would be a prenup. I suggested he could be married to his next wife for twenty years or more, and what if she took care of him if he was ill, and what if she had a child or two of her own, who might need help. So I told him to give her the house and leave the Vanguard to our kids. He thought that was a good idea.

If we didn't have kids and we both perish at the mountain top at the same time, we would leave it all to our college where we met and still hold dear. I wouldn't want any of it to go to nieces or nephews or other family.

But in reality, I still think the next wife will be a factor and that's fine with me.

Yes we had an action to create a trust for any survivor with the kids as trustees. The we decided to simplify it. All to the survivor.

We left the provisions if we both die in a plane crash. But I have seen too many situations where the survivor goes on get into a new relationship often with added kids. How can we know what is best when we do not know the future? We decided to trust the partner that we love more than the lawyers that we happen to know.

(Plus the surviving partner will probably be well into the 90s by the time it becomes an issue and our kids will be in their 70s. How can we possibly know what is best then. Maybe divide it among the grandchildren equally? But one of them might have more money than us by then in their 40s. So we decided to stop trying to manage from the grave!)

 

[hesperus]

I expect our portfolio will be in eight figures by the time we pass. No children, and no others in the family that are significantly younger. There is really no obvious beneficiary at this point. I think we are going to go with a charitable trust, set up and managed for the benefit of sheltered/abused animals. It's a cause dear to my DW and me.

Do any others out there have no children or family that would be the obvious choice? What will you do instead?

 

[freebird5825]

How?

Well, late in life with a nest egg, it appears to be a better situation from a tax and financial situation, if one is and stays single. This is especially true when facing assisted living/Medicaid situations. Also, one does not need to marry to have a "partner", at least that seems to be the trend anymore.

Exactly so, according to my trust attorney. His advice to me (widowed) was to stay single.

No kids or spouse, so I had to do things a bit differently to get around the "normal" rules of inheritance. My siblings leave a lot to be desired. I think I was hatched.

Mr B is 7 years my senior, so it is unlikely he will outlive me. However, just to cover all possibilities, I set my trust up so he could have lifetime living rights in my house and funds (under his control) to pay for the basics. If he decides to vacate, the house and contents will be auctioned off and proceeds distributed.

I have left sums to favorite charities (Doris Day Mustang Ranch(HSUS), USO, American Legion) and my alma mater to establish a scholarship fund for a needy student pursuing a physics/engineering degree.

Mr B is leaving all of his financial assets to his grown children. I totally 100% agree with that. He will leave any tangible things that we purchased together to me. Yes, I keep receipts.


Simple and drama free.

 

[gauss]

hesperus,

Not having kids or siblings, DW and I setup a donor advised fund (DAF) at Fidelity Charitable to address this issue. At this point in my life I didn't know all the charities that I would want to receive funding, but I knew that I didn't want my assets to be split between my first cousins which would have been the default based on state law. I have selected a friend as contingent adviser for the fund and she agreed to continue to distribute the funds if she is still around and we are not.

My Will will specify the DAF as contingent beneficiary if DW is no longer around when I pass and vice-versa.

I figured that this was a good default setup.

Also, the DAF allows me to get tax-deductible charitable contributions as opposed to the "Standard Deduction" by bunching contributions to the DAF every few years.

-gauss

 

[LoneAspen]

Very interesting thread - thanks for starting this one.

I'm in my late 40's, never married, no kids, and no plans for either. Although that could always change, I'm pretty set in my ways and love my freedom and independence, so it's doubtful I'll ever have to worry about leaving something to a partner or kids.

My parents are both gone, so no eldercare needs.

I have three siblings, but I didn't grow up with them because I'm much younger than they are. Because of the age difference, two of them have already retired, and the third is retiring soon. It might sound harsh, but I wouldn't leave money to anybody (even my own siblings) at the tail end of their careers because I figure they had their chance to feather their own nest for retirement, and I'm not feathering it for them. I also don't want, nor expect, to be a beneficiary in their wills.

So that really only leaves nieces, nephews, and their families, but the problem is, I don't really know them. Because of the age difference between me and my siblings, we didn't grow up together. They were already moving out of the house by the time I came along, and my family was never the kind that got together a lot for family events.

I see my nieces and nephews maybe once every 7 or 8 years. Other than that, I never have any communication with them. So I doubt I'd leave anything more than a small token amount with them. I certainly wouldn't leave tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars.

So my plan is to spend it on myself and enjoy it. After 30+ years in the rat race in a career I've grown to hate, I want to bail and spend my remaining time and money on traveling, and doing things I've wanted to do for a long time.

If there's anything left when I croak, I'll leave it to my church, who is already named as the only beneficiary on life insurance policies and my stock option grants at work.

 

[growing_older]

A wealthy widower I know married a local widow about his same age and then used an A/B trust to provide for her after he passed, then all went to his kids. The marriage was very happy and good for them both, but the widow lived a very long life and caused no end of distress for his kids who were counting on that big inheritance much much sooner than they got it.

My kids will inherit, but they don't know how much, so hopefully they will not make plans dependent on getting the inheritance and will develop into independent capable adults on their own before they get the money. I would hate for my legacy to be a factor limiting their own development.

 

[youbet]

We are doing some estate planning right now. Our tentative plans being detailed at the moment are:

Our son and grandchildren will be the benefactors.

A special needs trust has been set up for a grandson with cerebral palsy and that money is not available to us any longer. The removal of that money from our portfolio was included in our overall financial planning.

529b's and Coverdell accounts have been set up and funded for the remaining grandchildren.

When the first of us passes, our son will inherit approximately one third of our total estate with two thirds going to the survivor.

When the second of us passes, our son will inherit approximately 70% of the residual estate with the balance going to his children (except the grandchild with the special needs trust).

We built some annual gifting to our son and grandchildren into our WR which can be modulated depending on how things go.

 

[rodi]

On the remarriage thing. When my mom passed, my sister and I were thrilled when my dad fell in love with a wonderful, intelligent, feisty widow. They both had pension and SS benefits from the former marriages that would terminate upon remarriage. (She had a widow/spouse benefit from SS, Dad had a survivors benefit from my mom's employer). To remarry would drop their income streams by more than $2k/month.

California has something called "Registered Domestic Partnerships" - which at the time was only available to seniors (facing the same issue as my dad and step mom), and gay couples (who at the time couldn't legally marry.). It addressed many of the legal issues that come with marriage. That's the approach they took.

But they also updated their respective trusts - making sure of the following:
- their own kids would inherit their money (so Dad's money went to us, Stepmom's money will go to her kids).
- no one would get displaced immediately. They were living in her house - but Dad paid for all the maintenance expenses and upgrades... the deal was if she predeceased him he had UP TO 1 year before the house would be put on the market... allowing him time to transition to a new home. He, in turn, left her a large enough bequest to cover the expenses of the house for many years.

I like the way they handled it - they were both in their mid/late 70's when they virtually (but not legally) married. Their trusts addressed the needs of the survivor as well as the wish to pass wealth on to their own kids.

 

[Big_Hitter]

split evenly between surviving siblings. we have no kids. also leaving large donation to my not for profit ski hill earmarked for the food/beverage shack on the back side of the hill

 

[travelover]

............
But they also updated their respective trusts - making sure of the following:
- their own kids would inherit their money (so Dad's money went to us, Stepmom's money will go to her kids).
- no one would get displaced immediately. They were living in her house - but Dad paid for all the maintenance expenses and upgrades... the deal was if she predeceased him he had UP TO 1 year before the house would be put on the market... allowing him time to transition to a new home. He, in turn, left her a large enough bequest to cover the expenses of the house for many years..............

This sounds problematic. When I'm 90 years old, I'd sure hate to get booted out so the kids could have their money NOW. It would seem fairer to pass on money on the passing of the second person.

 

[scrinch]

I am going to spend it, and have a lot of fun spending it.

Spoken like a true senator! [emoji3]

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[googily]

We just finished updating our estate stuff this summer. No kids, and our main hope is to spend it all.

But after originally coming up with all manner of detailed plans for how the money should go to parents, siblings, and trusts for their offspring (especially if we die at the same time when the estate is still sizeable), I decided that our control freak-ism was getting out of hand. So, when we are both gone, the estate just gets split up equally between the whole crew. We won't be around to watch any disasters!

There is also the likelihood that my own inheritance from my father will be low seven figures. My brother and his (currently young) kids are going to make out like bandits between that and potentially from me. Hence the desire to spend as much as we can! On the other hand, perhaps this will make sure that the kids keep being nice to their rich old aunt....

We need to decide on some charitable options as well, but didn't want our dithering on that to prevent us from getting the important estate stuff done.

 

[pacergal]

to each other first, then to both kids equally.
In the process of updating wills, trusts, POA, Advanced Directive and Healthcare representative.

 

[kaudrey]

I have some set aside for charity, and after that: DH if he is alive, my sister if we both die. My sister and BIL would use the money for their retirement and/or my nieces' educations.

My DH doesn't have a will (doh!). Everything he has would go to me; but, I would share some with his sister and his cousin (who is his best friend). If we both go, his solo 401(k) and IRA have his sister as the secondary beneficiary.