Boredom in early retirement.

[ER Eddie]

Sort of like what seraphim was alluding to, I expect my retirement to include an early phase where I spend a lot of time doing little or nothing, resting -- the "decompression" phase referred to in another thread. During that period, I expect that I will feel bored occasionally. But it will just be a phase.

 

[Felix Mulier]

Sort of like what seraphim was alluding to, I expect my retirement to include an early phase where I spend a lot of time doing little or nothing, resting -- the "decompression" phase referred to in another thread. During that period, I expect that I will feel bored occasionally. But it will just be a phase.

You're right on the money, Eddie. You do have to "shift gears" and it can feel awkward at first, just like any change. Retirement is both an ending and a beginning. There's that "in between"/transition/adjustment phase that just needs to be w*rked through. It took me about a year to "shake off" that feeling of urgency about everything, because everything at w*rk was urgent for so long (YMMV). Eventually, you'll hit a rhythm and start to enjoy the new.

 

[Maenad]

I'd like to say "different strokes for different folks", but I always feel judgment coming from those who claim they'd be bored, and I get defensive and judgmental back. Not my best quality.

I too like hearing about others' experiences with settling in to the new rhythm, it helps prepare me mentally for the change.

 

[MichaelB]

Some folks are just bored, doesn't matter where they are or what they do. That's probably why smartphones are so popular.

 

[Mulligan]

I'd like to say "different strokes for different folks", but I always feel judgment coming from those who claim they'd be bored, and I get defensive and judgmental back. Not my best quality.

I too like hearing about others' experiences with settling in to the new rhythm, it helps prepare me mentally for the change.

I don't worry about being judged because I get it enough from my GF. Definitely "different strokes", as I got gently chastised from my GF from ruining her Sunday, because I was going to watch "the boring Masters tournament". I wasn't getting off the couch for no reason that Sunday. I did invite her over, but she said she wasn't going to waste her day watching "boring golf" all day.

 

[Midpack]

We're all different. I had a long neglected (home) to do list when I retired, and I was happy as a clam knocking off all those items for the first few months after retiring. Really got the house and yard in better shape than ever, and got a lot of decluttering/reorganizing done. When I finally caught up on all that, I was then a little 'now what?'

But then I started getting deeper or re-engaging in several activities that filled out my days nicely, some worked well and others not as expected (I love to read, but quickly and unexpectedly found I can't read all day without getting restless even for a day).

And if I still get bored somehow, I still have my Get-A-Life tree to refer to (haven't even looked at it yet).

The acid test of boredom for me is if I ever resort to watching more TV. YMMV

 

[HFWR]

Lets see. Be bored at home. Be stressed at work.
I'll take the bored

Yep, get bored on occasion, but never think the antidote is being at w*rk...

 

[F4mandolin]

I LIKE getting a little bored. When teaching (overseas...lots of places to see) I would usually not go anywhere on the weekends (quite often because I was coaching) because if I did I would go back to work on Monday more tired than I left on Friday. Getting a little bored was a good way to recharge. Now...I may be carrying to the extreme....but I get very twitchy and uncomfortable if I am "busy" all the time. Need some boring time....others don't...I do.

 

[Letj]

Getting a little bored was a good way to recharge. Now...I may be carrying to the extreme....but I get very twitchy and uncomfortable if I am "busy" all the time. Need some boring time....others don't...I do.

+1. Don't like a lot on my plate; makes me anxious. I Would rather have more free so I can choose what I want to do which can mean just sitting on my porch or deck reading and drinking ice tea.

 

[redduck]

I know this topic has been discussed before and I hope I'm not beating a dead horse but please........please, help me understand, how people can get bored when there is so much in life to enjoy...
I also don't believe any words of wisdom can knock some sense into these people, or maybe it's me that has the problem or wrong attitude.
----------
"

Well, for one thing, maybe you're asking the wrong group (those on this board) to help you understand why people become bored in retirement. "Knocking some sense into these people"? Really?

 

[Redbugdave]

Some folks are just bored, doesn't matter where they are or what they do. That's probably why smartphones are so popular.

That's a good point. And it takes another on the other end of the line wasting their time, too.

 

[seraphim]

+1 Michael

Fortunately there is little cell phone service out in the boondocks, where we intend to be a lot of the time. I really don't get bored; there's always something to do, or to learn...

 

[ER Eddie]

I LIKE getting a little bored.... Getting a little bored was a good way to recharge. Now...I may be carrying to the extreme....but I get very twitchy and uncomfortable if I am "busy" all the time. Need some boring time....others don't...I do.

Same here. I don't like a lot of activity; it overstimulates me and makes me anxious/stressed. I like a quiet, simple life. I'm not sure I would call it "bored," though -- to me, it's peaceful, and it allows me to think and recharge. "Bored" is an unpleasant state, similar (in my mind anyhow) to apathy.
Boredom Synonyms, Boredom Antonyms | Thesaurus.com

 

[Katsmeow]

the point being that i think sometimes in retirement people miss some of the things that they got from work, whether that be intellectual stimulation,

rotflmao!

I can see that this would vary from job to job. In my job, I actually do get a lot of intellectual stimulation at work. There is a kind of analytical thinking and reasoning that I use at my work that really is at a much higher level than I need to use in my non-work life. I do still plan to fully retire, but something that I do know that I will want to replace is to find a place outside of work where I can use that kind of higher level thinking. I believe in - at least to some extent - use it or lose it. As much as I enjoy leisure time activities and activities of daily life, I simply don't use in those activities the type of thinking to the same extent that I use it at work and I don't want to lose those abilities and get rusty at thinking. I don't really want to do any more work in my field once I retire so I won't get it that way. So I do ponder how to get that in the future.

 

[seraphim]

Kats

The laughter was merely for my own particular situation *grin* . I, too, enjoy mental stimulation: my main hobby is learning.

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects!"

Robert Heinlein

 

[PawPrint53]

The person who cuts my hair is 60 and says she'll never retire because when you retire you die. While she's entitled to her opinion, I was forced to retire for medical reasons and am still around, enjoying life. It was a tough adjustment because it wasn't voluntary, but I'm seldom bored. Working out, coffee groups. lots of volunteering, gardening in the summer, a bit of travel, housework, reading, hiking, naps, cooking, internet interactions, Osher classes, doing the daily crossword, etc. I relish the time spent just sitting in a lawn chair in the backyard listening to the birds. I even enjoy hanging clothes on the line in the backyard when the weather is good. Simple pleasures. . .

 

[Redbugdave]

What's wrong with slowing down and smelling the roses? All that go-go-go is what burns you out. Just like f4mandolin pointed out.

 

[Huston55]

Another angle on this: we have become intolerant of boredom lately, with the constant busy-ness, always feeding ourselves entertainment, continual distractions of one kind or another... Back in the old days (100 years ago, let's say), people were accustomed to "boring" spells. It was just part of the rhythm of life. But nowadays, we are constantly entertained, distracted, and/or busy with one thing or the next. So boredom -- which is really a natural part of life -- feels strange and uncomfortable. I'm reminded of a parent who responded to her kid's complaint, "I'm bored" with "Good, be bored."

Everyone needs to learn how to tolerate some periods of boredom -- life is not all excitement and interesting activities -- and maybe that's something that some people have a hard time handling, in retirement. I think spending time being bored can be useful sometimes. But it can also be hard to tolerate, if you're not used to sitting with it, always getting up and having to "do" something...

The person who cuts my hair is 60 and says she'll never retire because when you retire you die. While she's entitled to her opinion, I was forced to retire for medical reasons and am still around, enjoying life. It was a tough adjustment because it wasn't voluntary, but I'm seldom bored. Working out, coffee groups. lots of volunteering, gardening in the summer, a bit of travel, housework, reading, hiking, naps, cooking, internet interactions, Osher classes, doing the daily crossword, etc. I relish the time spent just sitting in a lawn chair in the backyard listening to the birds. I even enjoy hanging clothes on the line in the backyard when the weather is good. Simple pleasures. . .

Insert "quiet contemplation and introspection" for "boredom", and it provides a whole new meaning. Looks like PawPrint gets it.

Training the mind is hard work. DW works diligently on it through meditation and study. I hope it takes her a while to train her mind because, I'm afraid she's going to work on mine next.

 

[sengsational]

Insert "quiet contemplation and introspection" for "boredom", and it provides a whole new meaning. Looks like PawPrint gets it.

Training the mind is hard work. DW works diligently on it through meditation and study. I hope it takes her a while to train her mind because, I'm afraid she's going to work on mine next.

You're already half-way there if you just wrote what you wrote. Time to understand myself was one thing I did on a 9 month accidental retirement. When I went back to w*rk, I treat the whole thing differently; whereas before I'd be stressed out over things, now I just think to myself "they don't pay me enough to raise my BP even one point". Of course my relaxed approach might not get me the biggest merit raises, but, as it turns out, it's not hard to shine in my current position.

--Dale--

 

[Amethyst]

I, too, love those simple pleasures, and the ability to take enough time to bring creative ideas to fruition. In fact, I fear that I could retire too late to really use my creativity. Eyes and hands deteriorate, and mine have seen their best days in an employer's service.

As I age, I find another concern about retirement emerging. It has to do with socializing. I am gregarious and can easily chit-chat and small-talk to get the ball rolling, but I can't stand small talk for very long. I need more substantive conversation. At work, there is always WORK to be discussed. Everyone has something to contribute.

When they aren't discussing work, though, people always seem to slide into those middle-aged standbys, "kids," "property values/property taxes," "petty gossip," and "politics." All good subjects for a little while, but please...can't there be a little variation? And after trying once or twice to turn the conversation to something more entertaining (to me), I have to find an excuse to leave the room. The same thing happens when I join "interest groups." You'd think people would discuss the hobby or interest at hand, but no, there they are talking kids and property taxes.

As one ages, the standbys seemingly evolve to "grandkids," "the organ recital,"** "cost of living," and "what's the world coming to; wasn't like this when we were young." And there I will be again, running from the room.
I don't like that the alternative to social boredom seems to be hermit-dom, and I don't know what to do about it.

Amethyst
**Organ recital: My knee, my kidneys, my heart, my spleen, etc. etc.

etc. I relish the time spent just sitting in a lawn chair in the backyard listening to the birds. I even enjoy hanging clothes on the line in the backyard when the weather is good. Simple pleasures. . .

 

[ER Eddie]

I like substantive conversation too, amethyst. It's been a problem my whole life, though, not just now that I'm headed for retirement. My usual solution has been to find one person with whom I can talk in depth. It's often just a single person. Kind of a shame that it can't be a wider group than that, but that's just the way it's worked out for me, anyhow.

 

[tmm99]

I can see that this would vary from job to job. In my job, I actually do get a lot of intellectual stimulation at work. There is a kind of analytical thinking and reasoning that I use at my work that really is at a much higher level than I need to use in my non-work life. I do still plan to fully retire, but something that I do know that I will want to replace is to find a place outside of work where I can use that kind of higher level thinking. I believe in - at least to some extent - use it or lose it. As much as I enjoy leisure time activities and activities of daily life, I simply don't use in those activities the type of thinking to the same extent that I use it at work and I don't want to lose those abilities and get rusty at thinking. I don't really want to do any more work in my field once I retire so I won't get it that way. So I do ponder how to get that in the future.

+1

 

[kcowan]

I recently did some volunteering. Then it became like work. People expected me at a certain time and duration. Needless to say I corrected that.

Amen Bro! They will never pin me down again. Do they think we are stupid?

I am my own man and always have been. Retirement is just another phase of life to be managed properly.

 

[kcowan]

I've read about golf or fishing enthusiasts who can only do so in their spare time while working, and plan to play golf or fish every day when they retire. Some may be happy as clams, but I've read some of them enjoy it for awhile only to find they're bored and they no longer enjoy an activity (golf or fishing) they once loved. But it certainly doesn't have to be that way, and shouldn't!

I gave up golfing when I retired. I decided that it was a handy excuse to play hookey when I worked, but after retiring, I could not justify the amount of time it burned up.

I seldom have a time when I say: "Gee what can I do now?" thankfully. I have a long list of things I want to accomplish. Ten years retired.

 

[W2R]

I seldom have a time when I say: "Gee what can I do now?" thankfully. I have a long list of things I want to accomplish.

+1 Surprisingly, I haven't even had a chance to begin on that list yet and I am in my 4th year of retirement.

It is puzzling to me that anyone could be so lacking in imagination as to be bored in retirement. I think that is tragic, and suspect the blame can be assigned to the negative effects of employment for so many years, squelching the imagination.

Retirees have a whole smorgasbord of wonderful activities and interests available to pursue, and retirement provides oceans of free time in which to do exactly that.