Did your personality change after retirement?

[ER Eddie]

Just curious. Did your personality change after retirement? If so, how? Did you find certain traits necessary in the work environment drop away? Did you find yourself able to cultivate different parts of your personality, once work was out of the picture?

I ask because I know that the type of work I do has changed me, over the years. I'm still the same at my core, but my personality has also been shaped by my work. Some of the changes have been good -- I'm less gullible, more incisive in my thinking, more confident in my judgment. But some of the changes have been negative -- I'm more skeptical of others; I over-value the rational at the expense of the other parts of life; I'm less able to be spontaneously open with people. (Those are just some examples.)

I've been wondering, if I retired, would or could my personality change? Not at a core level, of course. I am who I am. But at more secondary levels, could I grow different sorts of traits, maybe resurrect some of them that have withered on the vine during my career? Could other traits recede, once work no longer reinforced and required them?

So I thought I'd ask, did your personality change after retirement? If so, how?

 

[pb4uski]

DW says "a little"... I ask how and she responds (with arms folded)... you're grumpier.

Ditto.

 

[RobbieB]

I'm happier. It takes a lot to get me angry. I leave bigger tips. I smile at the "happy hardware" people that ask to help me instead of wishing they would get out of my way because I know where the stuff is.

I now have more time to do what I want to do and am less concerned with "helpful" people that used to just waste my time.

 

[Meadbh]

I spent my working life in a profession where extroversion and empathy are valued. I had to work hard to demonstrate these characteristics. Now that I am ER, my inner introvert can shine!

 

[Nemo2]

I never had a personality to begin with...so, no change.

 

[scrabbler1]

I was working only 2 days a week for the 17 months prior to my ERing. So I didn't change much after I fully ERed. However, fully losing my awful commute even 2 days a week removed my grumpiness on those 2 days.


I am a little more easy-going to the point of being somewhat apathetic about more things than before. And I am not afraid to do things which may annoy others, not that I am a vindictive person. It just means if I need to be outspoken about something, I am not afraid to do so, maybe more than before. Maybe that just comes with age, maybe not.

 

[RunningBum]

More relaxed, but I procrastinate more.

 

[unclemick]

Still INTJ - big on the introvert and much less on the judgmental but it has taken a while.



heh heh heh -

 

[Aerides]

I'm more relaxed, I don't have that ball of anxiety going any more. The pressure is off so there's that.

I think beyond that, it's not that my personality ever changed, but I've shed my "work persona". So perhaps someone who knows me only via work might say "you've changed!" but not someone who knew me only outside work.

I don't have to put on that fake face, or voice, or attitude that I wore to be effective at work. I don't have to compete, or push to be heard, or fight for my staff or a budget or a project, or push back to get things done, all those "qualities" that got me paid...so all that "edge" stuff is no longer needed. I never have to talk in stupid jargon or acronyms or all that IT and Business speak that came with the territory.

That said, I'm quite sure I could put it back on if a non-work situation called for it, but hopefully none would.

 

[razztazz]

Became less grouchy. I am super-duper I (ntj) so dispensing with people made my day and allowed me to become the Me I always wanted to be.

Ref the earlier poster having a job that required extroversion: I found that almost everything one can do to earn a living is heavily biased towards that. Some more than others but when your threshold is low to begin with, you're already maxed out right out of the gate

 

[hesperus]

I'm happier. It takes a lot to get me angry. I leave bigger tips. I smile at the "happy hardware" people that ask to help me instead of wishing they would get out of my way because I know where the stuff is.

^this^

 

[misanman]

I have more time to be grumpy!

 

[6miths]

No but the manifestations of my personality did.

 

[rodi]

More relaxed, but I procrastinate more.

+1

 

[travelover]

I'm more empathetic, having considerably less internal stress. I find my self less concerned about waiting in line in a store or in traffic, more forgiving of service people's inefficiency.

 

[Bamaman]

After 36 1/2 years of being on the phone every minute of every day of every month, I no longer wish to communicate orally. I'm much quieter.

Fortunately, my wife speaks enough for both of us.

And giving up my cell phone makes me feel like a bird out of a cage. I guess my speaking is now done through my fingers--on the internet.

 

[Ronstar]

I'm more patient, relaxed, happy, more apt to plan & organize, less concerned about getting things done. I'm more empathetic also.

 

[athena53]

I'm somewhat more relaxed but still don't like having my time wasted. I may have more spare time, but that doesn't mean I'm any happier spending it waiting on Hold or sitting in a traffic jam.

My retirement coincided with the birth of my first granddaughter- it just turned out that way but it was a happy coincidence since DS and DDIL live 3 hours away, so visiting them takes time and I wouldn't want to be dashing off to work during their visits here. Our granddaughter will be 3 in April and now has a baby sister. I'm happily reliving childhood and my own years as a mother, dredging up silly songs, reading them favorite books, sitting on the floor and building things with Legos. I'm still avidly interested in business and investing, and keeping up my fluency in French and German, but am enjoying being able to use the nurturing side of my personality more often.

 

[Bir48die]

I'm more patient, relaxed, happy, more apt to plan & organize, less concerned about getting things done. I'm more empathetic also.

I have been told by a number of people that I'm less intense. I am certainly more patient (disclaimer: I got a bit frustrated with the SD airport TSA people on Saturday). Don't freak out on long lines, working on my traffic karma skills.

Don't think I'm more empathetic. That has come from living a life dealing with the messy things of life.

 

[Totoro]

Not working reverts me back a bit in towards 'core' personality, portions of which I thought were permanently changed turn out to be still there.

Rediscovery is a nice term for it. Interesting to see it happen in oneself.

 

[erkevin]

Pretty big change according to DW and close friends. In career (school principal), i was always "on point". In fact, Myers-Briggs summarized me as a "field marshal" (ENTJ).
Since retirement, DW says field marshal is gone. Friends say I am much more relaxed. Was never a "in the moment" guy. Am getting much better at that.

 

[W2R]

I am still me.

I am lots happier and more relaxed because I am retired, but that is just how the same ol' W2R is responding to a changed environment. It's not me who has changed, but the requirements of my daily life and the surroundings in which I am immersed each day.

 

[Which Roger]

I don't think my personality has changed, but I can show my true self in retirement. Sometimes the personality I showed at work was really an act or survival tactic.

 

[CaptTom]

Good question!

Coming up on 9 months in, I'm not sure yet. I've had a few big projects I've been focused on, but I carefully avoid any time pressure. I work on them when I feel like it, which is still a lot, but I feel no guilt if I relax in between.

I'm still impatient. Maybe I'm not in as much of a rush to get somewhere, but now my excuse is that I've only got so many hours of life left. I don't intend to spend them waiting in long lines or behind some slowpoke who wants to hit every red light.

I liked the comments about shedding one's work persona. My theory is that we all have lots of different personas for different activities or groups. I like to think I can snap into them all pretty quickly as needed, but the one time I stopped by work for a visit, it was sort of hard to know which persona I was supposed to be.

I think dressing the part is an important aspect. I've seen retirees come back to visit our MegaCorp wearing shorts, sandals and a tee shirt. That strikes the right note. For me, here in the Great White North, Winter is flannel shirt time. In summer, it's shorts, tee shirt and no shoes for days at a time. The dress shirts are all way back in the closet. I'm loving that.

 

[LauAnn]

I definitely procrastinate more now that I am retired. Other than that, I'm the same person I used to be outside of work. I'm just that person full-time now.