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Old 11-11-2009, 05:12 PM   #21
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Well, we bought a rental property from a couple who had been, in essence, abandoned by their 3 kids who lived about 1,500 miles away. The man was 91, his wife was 85 and in poor health, and they were moving to an assisted-living facility. We heard later that the 91-year-old man attempted to moved their belongings himself, because they had no friends to help them, the 3 kids didn't help, and the couple did not want/did not have the $$ to pay movers. The neighbors from whom we heard this sad story, felt "guilted" into helping the couple move.

So, if kids are one leg of your retirement plan, be sure it's a sturdy one. Or have neighbors who are susceptible to guilt.

Amethyst
Or make sure you have the resources to fund a really, really nice assisted living facility(some are like B & B's, my uncle was in one). One where you can bring a pet or two, have a menu for meal choices, private rooms available, cocktail hour, etc. This is what I plan to do. No way would I depend on my son(whom I love dearly, don't want to burden him). I just have to hope I have my wits about me when the time comes. I do have some excellent friends, too, who are more precious to me than pearls.
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Old 11-11-2009, 05:51 PM   #22
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Oinkers: Only investments, no kids, early retirees.
That's it! We're OINKERS!!!!

Thanks Martha! You always set me straight!!!

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Old 11-11-2009, 08:15 PM   #23
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Advice? On what?

Children could be one leg of a retirement plan but I don't know the actuarial value or return on investment. That's the only thing I can think of that is different from everyone else here. I doubt if they have ever done that calculation either as they seem to not factor the kids in as a retirement investment. Oh, you probably don't have to put spoiling grandchildren in the retirement budget and plans.

Kidding aside, we are almost DRINKERs. I am 60 and still working. My husband is 63 and retired last July. We will have two pensions, SS and our savings to live on. I may retire at the end of 2010 when I turn 62.

But still, what is on your mind about this aspect of retirement?
the view I adopted very young was that the woman should decide on children and how many. My wife never wanted children, and I was ok with that.

we have been very close to our neices, who are in and out a couple of times a week, using our house which is close to their colleges, but they are now settling into serious boyfriends, and are drifting away, as predicted.

what does it feel like to be 60 or 70, with time on your hands, without the occupation/distraction/satisfaction of children or grandchildren to talk about, talk to, complain about?

regrets?

I did read about a study many years ago that found money was more important than offspring, for happiness in old age...wonder if that is true?

looking for insights from the childfree who are a bit further along the path than me...so I can properly prepare.
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Old 11-13-2009, 01:29 PM   #24
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I guess we are Spinkers ( SS & Pension & Investments kids grown and out of the house )
SPIKERs -- Single Pension Income w/ Kids ERs...
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Old 11-13-2009, 02:09 PM   #25
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I'm laughing because kids should not have any effect on whether you retire early or not. They should not have any effect on whether you save up enough money for retirement or not. If they do happen to have an effect, perhaps too much money is being spent on them and cutting back is in order.
Another 3 martini lunch, hey??
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Old 11-13-2009, 02:12 PM   #26
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Mine makes no sense:

DITKWRE..............Dual Income Two Kids Will Retire Early
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Old 11-13-2009, 02:15 PM   #27
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the view I adopted very young was that the woman should decide on children and how many. My wife never wanted children, and I was ok with that.
You might think that way! But the view I adopted fairly young was that I wasn't that into having kids, but that if I married a man who really wanted kids, I would have them. It turns out I married a man who felt very strongly about not having kids, so he got his way! I just didn't feel strongly enough to have them anyway. That ole maternal instinct just never kicked in.

Regrets - none. I don't really spend time thinking about this causing problems as I age. I didn't miss kids. I'm not missing grandkids. I never had extra "time on my hands", so it's hard to see what I'm missing. Frankly, I don't see how parents do it!

I spend a lot of time around people in their 60s and 70s, and they are busy living their lives sans grandchildren. Sure, they talk about them, and they visit them, and occasionally have them visit, but they are mostly out doing their own thing and spending time with other adults. Not too many people sitting around with "time on their hands". We're around a lot of snowbirds, and you just don't see many grandchildren around and if they visit it's pretty temporary. And there are many communities around here that are 55+ and have severe restrictions about children guests.

Now, why do you think 55+ communities would be so popular if most grandparents wanted their grandchildren around most of the time? I get the feeling that many like to be away from them for extended periods. I also get the distinct feeling that part of the appeal of snowbirding is getting away from immediate family and spending time with other adults for extended periods!

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Old 11-13-2009, 02:26 PM   #28
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I just realized we are Dual Income Couple of Kids Headed for Early Retirement Eventually. DICKHERE?
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:26 PM   #29
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It's not really "time on your hands"; it's "hand's on your time"
Old 11-14-2009, 07:26 AM   #30
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It's not really "time on your hands"; it's "hand's on your time"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kroeran View Post
what does it feel like to be 60 or 70, with time on your hands, without the occupation/distraction/satisfaction of children or grandchildren to talk about, talk to, complain about?

regrets?

I did read about a study many years ago that found money was more important than offspring, for happiness in old age...wonder if that is true?

looking for insights from the childfree who are a bit further along the path than me...so I can properly prepare.
First, no regrets.

I don't know. I don't find it unnatural. If you have children, you may base much of your life around them but if you don't, you fill your life with other interests/obsessions.

I've observed my husband so far and he seems to be living an endless weekend. I have to conclude if you enjoy your weekends, you will enjoy your endless weekend.

I will probably retire when I turn 62 but, at work, I tell people who ask "What else do I have to do all day but come in to work and get highly paid to do useless stuff?". The truth is that my idea of what is useful has simply changed from the daily work tasks to things I do when not at work. I used to be obsessed with work night and day. Now I am just plain bored and irritable. Time to go do those things I'd rather do.

Money is not the source of retirement happiness but without it, you are only exchanging the stress of work life for stress coming from the risk of an inadequately funded fixed income life. No need for that when you can set up a happy life at a reasonable standard of living and save enough to insure yourself against fear of poverty. I say insure because there is risk in everything. If I could do it again, I would have been more diligent early on in establishing this life style/policy as I don't see much that is different in my life but I sure have a lot more money in the bank.

Thanks to the FIRE people. I may have missed FIRE but I won't die at the desk unless I happen to do so next year.

So the question is one of individual preference. If work is what you chose to fill your life with to the exclusion of other things, you probably should never retire. I really doubt that this is your case since you are here at FIRE.
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Old 11-14-2009, 07:28 AM   #31
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Guess we would be a SNIPER. SS,no kids,indepentent contractor,pension,early retired. Up until a few weeks ago were SNIPERS, the extra S is for severence pay.
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Old 11-14-2009, 10:30 AM   #32
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Wow - keep those acronyms coming. The FIRE bunch sure are witty and creative!

Audrey
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:48 PM   #33
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Well if we left kids out of the mix, in a few years we'll be.....Pension Income Social Security Early Retirees...

Figure out the abbreviation on your own....
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Old 11-14-2009, 07:34 PM   #34
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.

what does it feel like to be 60 or 70, with time on your hands, without the occupation/distraction/satisfaction of children or grandchildren to talk about, talk to, complain about?

regrets?
Unless you are holding open the possibility of having or adopting children, and haven't quite made up your mind, I don't see the profit in asking these questions. What's done is done (or not done, in this case).

Anyway, the healthy older people I'm acquainted with (60's-70's-80's) all seem to have more than enough to keep them occupied, grandkids or no. The unhealthy ones are preoccupied with their ill health, and they pay other people to do everything for them, which takes money.

If one is lucky enough to have caring children who live close by, they can protect and assist to a certain degree, once one loses the ability to do for oneself. If one doesn't have that, then a lot of money and a competent administrator would be the best substitute.

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Old 11-14-2009, 07:38 PM   #35
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We can't qualify as DRINKERS but we are SMOKER's. (Spending Money On Kids Early Retired)

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Old 11-14-2009, 11:42 PM   #36
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Old 11-15-2009, 12:12 AM   #37
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Dual Income, Coupla Kids Expecting Departure On Very Early Retirement
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Old 11-15-2009, 03:38 AM   #38
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Old 11-15-2009, 11:45 AM   #39
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what does it feel like to be 60 or 70, with time on your hands, without the occupation/distraction/satisfaction of children or grandchildren to talk about, talk to, complain about?
I'm not retired yet but looking forward to 62 and retiring in June or so of this year. A lot of people ask me what else I'll do. In my case, FINALLY have time to do things without rushing - go back to being a visual artist - garden, cook, organize and declutter the house (that's perhaps a VERY lofty goal!) - write the great American novel or a memoir - more cancer activism - who knows. The thing is, right now I never feel like I can concentrate for long on any one thing - except work... and actually at work I keep getting pulled in different directions too.

So I have goals for what I want to do, and what getting older with less energy is keeping me from doing.

We don't have children or nieces/nephews - I am close to some of my cousins and their kids but they don't live nearby. We have developed a circle of friends and acquaintances to have dinner with and talk to. Some have children; some don't. We are mostly in the same general age group - 55 to 70.

I think the thing to do is keep busy, keep mentally stimulated. I do worry about the future when I really get old but my mother died at 85 and my father is about to turn 89 (and still drives, eeek). I'll just play it by ear at that point.

I don't see many posts answering your real question, though - input from people who are already there.

The acronyms are hysterical!
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Old 11-15-2009, 11:53 AM   #40
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Well if we left kids out of the mix, in a few years we'll be.....Pension Income Social Security Early Retirees...

Figure out the abbreviation on your own....
BBB, you back to stay ....or what
SPOWNE single pension one working not envious....or so she says
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