FIRE - family and friends just can't relate!

[braumeister]

I am sure when I don't take the bar exam, they will all talk about how I couldn't hack the exam or some other crazy thing. Funny how people act sometimes, eh?

You might think about making that clear, or they might just assume you couldn't pass the bar exam. Personally, I would rather that people know the facts. I completed all the requirements for a PhD but decided at the last minute that although I enjoyed the educational process, I didn't want to be identified that way so I let the deadline pass without formally turning in my dissertation. Probably not too different from your situation.




FWIW, Jerry Brown (California governor), Pete Wilson (former California governor), Hillary Clinton, JFK Jr., Michelle Obama, FDR, Benjamin Cardozo (former Supreme Court justice), Ed Koch (former NYC mayor), and many other very famous people all failed a bar exam at least once.

 

[bearkeley]

Latest update since my OP....apparently, rumor at the office is that I'm not really retiring....must be a big company ploy to eliminate my position as a first step towards mass lay off since I'm too young to retire!


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[youbet]

You must be trembling with excitement! Such wonderful gossip/rumors around the water cooler! What would we ever post about if we FIRE'd quietly, slipping out to the parking lot without gossip, fanfare or rumors?

Sounds like this whole situation is now well under control bearkeley and you can get on with the rest of your life unhindered.

Have you thought about starting a thread about your upcoming travels? I'd love to hear about where you guys are off to, how you're leaving things set up here while you're gone, what kind of expenses you expect and how you're controlling them, etc., etc. It really sounds great!

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

You might think about making that clear, or they might just assume you couldn't pass the bar exam. Personally, I would rather that people know the facts. I completed all the requirements for a PhD but decided at the last minute that although I enjoyed the educational process, I didn't want to be identified that way so I let the deadline pass without formally turning in my dissertation. Probably not too different from your situation.




FWIW, Jerry Brown (California governor), Pete Wilson (former California governor), Hillary Clinton, JFK Jr., Michelle Obama, FDR, Benjamin Cardozo (former Supreme Court justice), Ed Koch (former NYC mayor), and many other very famous people all failed a bar exam at least once.

Well, generally speaking, I don't give a flying...well, you know...what folks think about me. The number of negative comments about going to law school FAR outweighed the positive comments, but I did it anyway. When it's ALL said and done (as in I am on my death bed), the ONLY person that I will be concerned about what they think about my life's decisions will be ME.

And as for folks that failed the bar...I don't EVER want to be compared to Hillary Clinton -or- Jerry Brown. Now, Cardozo? His judicial opinions are gold! Oh yeah...and a rumor that has gotten WAY out of control. Cardozo was duly examined and admitted...first time out. He did that with only completing 2 of 3 years of law school.

I would guess pursuing a PhD in *almost* anything is quite a bit more of a pain than getting a J.D. Both timewise -and- overall workload wise. So far, I haven't found law school to be very difficult. Then again, I am not a "gunner" and am not involved with ANY extracurricular "networking" activities, so that might be a big reason.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Latest update since my OP....apparently, rumor at the office is that I'm not really retiring....must be a big company ploy to eliminate my position as a first step towards mass lay off since I'm too young to retire!


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Oh yes, folks will come up with ANY excuse as to WHY you aren't REALLY retiring! I think that's nothing more than jealousy.

 

[Gumby]

My decision to go to law school has pretty much put to bed any of the snide comments or sideways looks I get about retiring so early. I think it makes everyone feel so much better that I "decided" to join everyone else in the misery. Initially, I told people that I didn't have any plans on getting licensed as a lawyer, and those crazy sideways looks came right back. SO...as far as they are all concerned, I am in law school and will be starting a new career in a few years. I am sure when I don't take the bar exam, they will all talk about how I couldn't hack the exam or some other crazy thing. Funny how people act sometimes, eh?

You should take the exam. It's easy, and you never know when it will come in handy to be admitted to the bar.

 

[msbearkeley]

Have you thought about starting a thread about your upcoming travels? I'd love to hear about where you guys are off to, how you're leaving things set up here while you're gone, what kind of expenses you expect and how you're controlling them, etc., etc. It really sounds great!

Thanks youbet! I'm actually starting a blog to share pics with co workers who want to stay in touch (guess I didn't include that in the list of reactions)....and now to prove I'm not THAT lucky and didn't get laid off and receive a package! I'll be sure to start a thread with info you outlined....that could be a cool page to add to my blog too! Learned a lot from this board over the years and continue to get inspired, so happy to share in case we can do the same!


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[redduck]

No surprise. I heard all the variations too, though they didn't line up with family, friends, co-workers, strangers like some here. Basic responses were (or variations of):

• Good for you, wish you the best (and meant it). <snip>
• Outright spoken contempt from some co-workers, pure envy. You lucky bastard! (all highlights by redduck when nobody was looking). I can imagine what they said behind my back, actually did gear some of it - but didn't worry about it.

• "Good for you" and "You lucky bastard!" can have the same meaning. Both expressions can be positive. Actually, "you lucky bastard" sounds more celebratory than "good for you".

 

[Cobra9777]

• "Good for you" and "You lucky bastard!" can have the same meaning. Both expressions can be positive. Actually, "you lucky bastard" sounds more celebratory than "good for you".

Actually, I find the reference to "luck" somewhat insulting. But I agree that it's often not intended that way, but rather as a positive expression. An experienced ear can usually tell the difference.

 

[youbet]

.and now to prove I'm not THAT lucky and didn't get laid off and receive a package!

Hee, hee....... Just can't let go, can ya?

 

[kcowan]

Well I retired early
I left my marriage
I rent my apartment
I own a condo in Mexico
I "live in sin" with my girlfriend
I drive an old Ford SUV
I use coupons to get discounts mostly on meals

I could go on...

I consider my job to create things that others can gossip about.
And what those people think of me is none of my business!

 

[HFWR]

You should take the exam. It's easy, and you never know when it will come in handy to be admitted to the bar.

I'm glad I don't need an exam to be admitted to a bar...

 

[truenorth418]

Actually, I find the reference to "luck" somewhat insulting. But I agree that it's often not intended that way, but rather as a positive expression. An experienced ear can usually tell the difference.

I agree. I consider myself fortunate, not lucky. There's a big difference.


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[CaliforniaMan]

I agree. I consider myself fortunate, not lucky. There's a big difference.


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+1
Well said.

 

[redduck]

I agree. I consider myself fortunate, not lucky. There's a big difference.


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"Fortunate bastard" sounds better than "lucky bastard"?

 

[redduck]

I agree. I consider myself fortunate, not lucky. There's a big difference.

Big difference? Maybe (or maybe not):
Fortunate | Definition of fortunate by Merriam-Webster

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fortunate

adjective for·tu·nate \ˈfȯrch-nət, ˈfȯr-chə-\. : having good luck : enjoying good fortune. : coming or happening because of good luck.

(the below is found when the word "fortunate" is googled).
favored by or involving good luck or fortune; lucky.
"she'd been fortunate to escape more serious injury"
synonyms: lucky, favored, blessed, blessed with good luck, in luck, having a charmed life, charmed; informalsitting pretty
"he was fortunate that the punishment was so slight"

auspicious or favorable.
"a most fortunate match for our daughter"
synonyms: favorable, advantageous, providential, auspicious, welcome, heaven-sent, beneficial, propitious, fortuitous, opportune, happy, felicitous "in a fortunate position"

 

[CaliforniaMan]

The way I see the difference:
I was fortunate to:
be born in the USA
be born after the advent of penicillin
be born in a white middle class family
have had an educated mother who prized education for her kids
be born after WWI and WWII (and before WWIII ?)
etc.

I was lucky to:
just happen to a chance meeting with someone which led me to getting my first real job
just happen to meet the son of my first future client there
just happen to have take the right course in college that proved pivotal
just happened to meet the woman I would marry
just happened to be in a boring seminar that led to my daydreaming and thesis topic
etc.

To me this is the difference, it is indeed subtle, but important.

But then I am not an English major

 

[MooreBonds]

Oh yes, folks will come up with ANY excuse as to WHY you aren't REALLY retiring! I think that's nothing more than jealousy.

Don't forget that many (many!) people are simply unable to understand financial matters....just like many are simply unable to wrap their minds around and understand particle physics, or astronomy, or multivariate calculus, or engineering, etc.

There are undoubtedly some that do come up with excuses out of jealousy, but I'd be willing to bet that because many are simply unable to comprehend investments and LBYM and saving, someone telling them that they are retiring in their 40s or even early 50s is like telling that person who is unable to comprehend particle physics just what a Higgs boson or quark is.

 

[redduck]

<snip>
<snip> (again)... someone telling them that they are retiring in their 40s or even early 50s is like telling that person who is unable to comprehend particle physics just what a Higgs boson or quark is.

Well, I certainly don't understand particle physics. But as for Higgs Boson and his half-brother Quark, they played on the defensive line at my high school. Both were declared ineligible in their sophomore year due to academic deficiencies. Last I heard, they are retired hedge fund managers living on several Greek islands they now own.

 

[Sunset]

I've always been one to see positive results others have achieved and tried to emulate them.
If you want to be skinny, hang out with skinny people, if you want to RE hang out with those who are. It's not jealousy, but admiration.

So true, that's why I always tried to hang out with the thin beautiful gorgeous folks

 

[retiredinnyc]

Everyone was supportive, I grew up in a blue collar world, my elderly mom said that's great now enjoy yourself, my friends said wow I wish we could, (some of them make obscene amounts of money, but don't have enough to leave), my wife is a homemaker , she said ok but don't start bugging me all day long, lol. I did have a neighbor come over and layout his financials with me , he said what do I think can he retire? I looked it over told him to call up the bride he also had enough for 2 lifetimes ,he gave his 30 day notice , started to complain he was bored, the another neighbor died at 58 ,he owned a bus company. I said I think he would trade places with you, stop complaining. He agreed.
.

 

[gerntz]

I retired at age 52 from a job in law enforcement where retirement from mid-40's on is fairly common, but most in early to late 50's. Reactions from coworkers were "Great, you made it with all appendages intact and most of your mind!" (Seriously, not everyone did.)

Family was relieved and happy for me.

A few friends outside of work: "Great, you made it! Now what are you going to do?"

"Whaddaya mean, nothing?"

Getting out of law enforcement in good health is a very good thing. Congratulations.

 

[Davis65]

I told my boss that I would be leaving in six months at the age of 50. She kept saying, "You're so lucky!" She also said that she is really sorry to be losing me, etc.

This conversation took place this morning.

 

[kgtest]

I told my boss that I would be leaving in six months at the age of 50. She kept saying, "You're so lucky!" She also said that she is really sorry to be losing me, etc.

This conversation took place this morning.

Uh Oh, catsouttathebag now. To me luck is something that comes along, once maybe twice, to be consistent day after day has nothing to do with luck and more to do with persistence, reaching goals and self-determination.

 

[Meadbh]

My (retired at a normal age) cousin said "retirement is the best, isn't it?"

I didn't have any negative feedback from family. Nobody expressed jealousy and nobody attributed my ER to luck. They know I worked hard at a well paying career, was LBMM and had an inheritance, though they don't know any details.

One of my friends told me that an acquaintance had remarked that ER was a terrible waste of my education.