Having a Baby in Early Retirement

[spirit]

Great comments

There have been great comments on this post but this is a big life comittment, just like getting married. You did not mention why you did not have children but I guess you were very focused on your career.
What does your girlfriend want. This is not just about you. Does she have dreams of travel and living an adult based life?
My husband and I married fairly late in life and had children when many of our friends had teenagers. We were lucky to be established in our careers and they kept us young and poor Instead of jetting off on holidays we camped with the Boy Scouts. I don't think were were ever deprived. But if you have kids you will probably stay in one place.....are you prepared to go back to work to help pay for extra expenses. The best time to work is if you don't need to.....
Having children is a wonderful experience but not for everyone. I have two wonderful girlfriends who would have made wonderful mothers but children were not in the cards for them. They have raised step children and have a lot of freedom to do many things now. It was their choice but not for me.
I hate to say this but if it gets serious between you and that girl, and she wants children, then that is probably what will happen.

 

[Surfs_Up]

One thing I would say in complete seriouness to a 40-60 year old man, who is not already committed to some woman in America or UK or similar and who wants a family: make enough money, and get the hell out of Dodge and into a "developing" country before taking a wife or having children.

+1

Also, given the insane health care costs and crazy tort laws, the US is one of the most dangerous places to live for portfolio survivability.

 

[Koolau]

We were 42 when our last was born, so not quite the same as starting fresh at 50. However, due to circumstances I won't go into, our kids all came to us when we were nearly 50. So, from THAT perspective, I do have experience. First I would say that being retired can (should) be a big advantage in raising kids - for obvious and maybe not so obvious reasons. Second, read everyone's take on late-life child rearing. It's all true even if it doesn't always apply to your situation. Thirdly, something not mentioned yet: Until we got kids, I assumed God gave you kids to mature them to adults. Not true. God gives you kids to mature YOU into an adult. I grew up MORE in the dozen intensive years of child rearing than all the previous 50 years. If you are not ready for that (or don't want that) maybe you should pass on this opportunity. YMMV

 

[Chuckanut]

Here is another thought/question about having children after 50.

Not only will you be raising children well into your 60's but you may be doing so at the very same time you are dealing with aging parents. How will that be handled?

From your children's point of view, they may well be having to deal with their aging parents (you and your spouse!) at about the time they are raising their own family. How about that?

I would never tell you or anybody else whether or not to have children. But, these are things to think about.

 

[rodi]

Here is another thought/question about having children after 50.

Not only will you be raising children well into your 60's but you may be doing so at the very same time you are dealing with aging parents. How will that be handled?

From your children's point of view, they may well be having to deal with their aging parents (you and your spouse!) at about the time they are raising their own family. How about that?

I would never tell you or anybody else whether or not to have children. But, these are things to think about.

We are living this. I figure it's a teaching opportunity for the kids. They see their dad doing hand on care for his wheelchair bound dad. They know there are gross aspects. They see that we live by the rule: family takes care of family. It's a good lesson for them.

Hopefully they'll be willing to step up and do the same when my husband needs it.

The entire time they were in diapers - when he changed their diapers he'd chuckle and say "In just a few years our roles will be reversed.... LUCKY YOU!".

He'll be 69 when the youngest graduates high school. I'll be 58. Can't change that so we plan for it. (529's funded now, so we won't have to dip into retirement nest egg when they're in college.)

If my husband has the longevity of his parents... the boys just might make it till they're 40 before they have to deal with him. My side does young.

 

[haha]

Excellent family culture, Rodi. Congratulations on a job well done.

Ha

 

[Martha]

You can take inspiration from Clint Eastwood who fathered his last two children (that we know of) at 64 & 67 and then there is Bing Crosby who did not begin his "second family" till 65.

I think it is becoming alot more common these days as I know several Germans in there late 70's and early 80's who recently had babies and many of my friends in their 50's and 60's are starting new families.

I think this stinks. They could die before their kids are grown. That is not a good time to lose your parents. Or the kids may end up dealing at a very young age with parents with health problems and competency issues. I had to do this in my early 20s and I was not yet prepared or suited for it. It sucked royally.