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Old 10-13-2013, 02:59 AM   #61
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For those of you that use personal allowances, how do you approach mismatched expenses between spouses?

Some examples: DW pays her hairdresser $80 each month, I spend $10 every other month. She spends more on clothes because "women need more clothes, they need to replace them more often, and they cost more to begin with". Then there's her health/fitness "fad of the quarter", for which I have no counterpart at all.
After DH retired a few years ago and I was still working (part-time), we set our Personal Care category which includes personal care items, hairdresser, clothes so that mine was $50 more a month since I still had to have work clothes. If either of us had an overage then it would come out of our individual allowances (what we call spending money category) which were equal.


That worked fine as I wasn't spending much during this time on hairdresser as I was coloring my hair at home and going somewhere inexpensive to get cuts.

However, I've been unhappy with that and recently went back to the hairdresser and my costs are much more now and don't match DH's. So the $50 a month difference is nowhere enough to pay for this. Even worse, when I stop working entirely (soonish) I had in mind reducing mine $50 a month since I won't need work clothes.

I'm not sure how we should handle it.

The reality is that the costs for hair care are more for me than DH. For DH to go to the same hairdresser I go to would cost him $20 a cut less than it costs me. And, I have hair color on top of that. Plus, I wear makeup and that is a cost DH doesn't have. Our clothes are not that different in cost, but makeup and hair are significantly different.

On the other hand, me getting my hair colored is discretionary. So that would say it should come out of my personal spending. But if we keep it as is, I will be using up all of my personal care budget each month on my hair and will have nothing left for makeup, clothes or other personal items during the year unless I use my personal allowance (which is what is really used for fun stuff like books) for hair and makeup.

I need to talk to DH about this and see how he feels.....
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:08 AM   #62
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I need to talk to DH about this and see how he feels.....
A smart man (and I'm sure he is) would say "Of course we need to adjust your personal care category to account for that. Don't give it another thought."
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:29 AM   #63
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For those of you that use personal allowances, how do you approach mismatched expenses between spouses?
It's just another budget item for us. For example DW's haircuts, hair color and her gym are not part of the "allowance". Or depending how do you look at it, they are added to her discretionary spending budget.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:04 AM   #64
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For those of you that use personal allowances, how do you approach mismatched expenses between spouses?
For us, anything personal and unnecessary comes out of the $100 + 25% side income allowance. Neither of us gets our hair or nails done, and we mostly share our clothes, but we haven't bought any since we started allowance back in July, so I'm not sure how we'd handle it.

Our medications and my hygiene products are both covered under grocery, but anything else is allowance.
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:21 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by Cat-tirement View Post
For those of you that use personal allowances, how do you approach mismatched expenses between spouses?

Some examples: DW pays her hairdresser $80 each month, I spend $10 every other month. She spends more on clothes because "women need more clothes, they need to replace them more often, and they cost more to begin with". Then there's her health/fitness "fad of the quarter", for which I have no counterpart at all.
We're fairly low maintenance. However, since it benefitted both of us to have her take a longer commute to work, we do look at how many miles we each traveled and pay an amount scaled to that. That's our only current inequality. It also removes any problems with whose car to use when we travel together. Back before the commutes became unequal everything was 50/50.
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Old 10-13-2013, 04:25 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by Katsmeow View Post
The reality is that the costs for hair care are more for me than DH. For DH to go to the same hairdresser I go to would cost him $20 a cut less than it costs me. And, I have hair color on top of that. Plus, I wear makeup and that is a cost DH doesn't have. Our clothes are not that different in cost, but makeup and hair are significantly different.

On the other hand, me getting my hair colored is discretionary. So that would say it should come out of my personal spending. But if we keep it as is, I will be using up all of my personal care budget each month on my hair and will have nothing left for makeup, clothes or other personal items during the year unless I use my personal allowance (which is what is really used for fun stuff like books) for hair and makeup.

I need to talk to DH about this and see how he feels.....
Kats, it seems to me that being a lawyer requires you to maintain a certain image and that the cosmetics, hairdos, etc, could really be considered business expenses.

Either that or DH should start going to the spa and getting manscaped!
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:22 PM   #67
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Kats, it seems to me that being a lawyer requires you to maintain a certain image and that the cosmetics, hairdos, etc, could really be considered business expenses.
That might work except I solely work from home now...

Anyway, DH and I talked about it and we decided to make the personal care stuff (hair, clothes, makeup) a part of the general household budget and not part of our personal spending money. And my budgeted amount will be more than his to account for hair costs (and makeup but that is a really small overall cost). Neither one of us really buys excessive amounts of clothes and he likes the new way I am doing my hair (albeit it is more expensive) and he thinks the cost is reasonable. We've cut more than that cost from our budget this year by making some other changes (coincidental) so making this change doesn't increase our annual expenditures beyond what would be acceptable to the overall budget.
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