Is your spouse, partner, etc, happier with you since retirement?

[rescueme]

A married person must keep a much more complicated set of books than a single person.

It is worth it for many, not so for some others.

Ha

Count me in the "worth it" column (42 years, tomorrow ).

Luckily, our "books" have had the same results over many, many years.

That's the advantage of starting out without much (execpt each other), and building upon a solid relationship, for the future.

It's been a great trip. I wish the same to everybody...

 

[martyb]

We are still discussing retirement.....right?

ummm...yes!

 

[vicente solano]

My wife would rather I worked, studied or volunteered, at least part-time. This is probably due to her having a very stressful job and having some 15 years of it. She is constantly bringing up those issues. But I am relentless in my apathy, laziness and indolence.
Despite her difficult job, or maybe because of it, she has decided to study a four year course in something that is substandard to her degree in Psychology, but somewhat related to her current job, even though it won´t make it any easier. The job, I mean.
Her new plans to study will -no doubt- make our relationship a bit more tense,.
I wouldn´t be surprised if she didn´t blame me for not encouraging her in her studies by me not taking any courses at all.......
I truly don´t understand her. She is up at 6 am to go to work, gets home at 3 30 pm and still thinks that it´s a shame not to do anything productive int the afternoons/evenings.

 

[haha]

My wife would rather I worked, studied or volunteered, at least part-time. This is probably due to her having a very stressful job and having some 15 years of it. She is constantly bringing up those issues. But I am relentless in my apathy, laziness and indolence.
Despite her difficult job, or maybe because of it, she has decided to study a four year course in something that is substandard to her degree in Psychology, but somewhat related to her current job, even though it won´t make it any easier. The job, I mean.
Her new plans to study will -no doubt- make our relationship a bit more tense,.
I wouldn´t be surprised if she didn´t blame me for not encouraging her in her studies by me not taking any courses at all.......
I truly don´t understand her. She is up at 6 am to go to work, gets home at 3 30 pm and still thinks that it´s a shame not to do anything productive int the afternoons/evenings.

Vicente, see if you can put her to work giving you a bath. Bring out her inner nurturer perhaps?

Ha

 

[eytonxav]

Vicente, see if you can put her to work giving you a bath. Bring out her inner nurturer perhaps?

Ha

Clothes on or off

 

[vicente solano]

Vicente, see if you can put her to work giving you a bath. Bring out her inner nurturer perhaps?

Ha

I´m sure I´ll need a lot more than that to lift my spirits, anyway. Seeing all of you so cheerful and full of vitality makes me think whether I shluld go see a therapist.

 

[omni550]

Clothes on or off

You bathe with your clothes on?

 

[REWahoo]

I´m sure I´ll need a lot more than that to lift my spirits, anyway. Seeing all of you so cheerful and full of vitality makes me think whether I shluld go see a therapist.

Go. The potential benefits far outweigh any other considerations.

 

[vicente solano]

Go. The potential benefits far outweigh any other considerations.

Thanks for the advice REW, but something tells me that it´s just that I am a bore with no real interests or hobbies aside from puttering with English in a light way, at that. The therapist will send me packing for wasting his time.

 

[REWahoo]

The therapist will send me packing for wasting his time.

Perhaps, but what if the therapist is actually able to help you? What harm is there in talking with someone about what your spouse sees as a problem - and that you obviously have some concerns about?

 

[vicente solano]

Perhaps, but what if the therapist is actually able to help you? What harm is there in talking with someone about what your spouse sees as a problem - and that you obviously have some concerns about?

AAhhh REw, don´t get me started..... You are a nice and sensible guy and don´t deserve it. The same applies to all the possible readers of this fine Forum.

 

[haha]

I've been thinking over what Moemg said, and I now fully agree.

Here is a video that illustrates all the important personal qualities that the average single woman is looking for when she goes man shopping. A companion, someone to help with the occasional physical chore, and an appreciative lover.

DnB NOR Clooney ad - YouTube

Ha

 

[Purron]

A married person must keep a much more complicated set of books than a single person.

Ha

Why? I've been married nearly 37 years and have always taken care of our finances. I don't see how it would have been much less complicated if I had been single.

 

[haha]

Why? I've been married nearly 37 years and have always taken care of our finances. I don't see how it would be much less complicated if I had been single.

Experiences vary.

Individuals are somewhat like insurance companies, but with fewer policy holders. They have assets, debt liabilities, and contingent liabilities, for which latter they should be making reserves, or buying reinsurance. An example of re-insurance may be an LTC policy, auto and homeowner liability coverage, umbrella coverage, mortgage insurance and life insurance to care for dependent survivors.


Now, please tell me which insurance companies offer coverage for the contingent liability of divorce, which should be somewhere on every married person's balance sheet. To me, this makes it more complicated, but I could be over thinking it. Except it sure seems to describe the experience of most divorced men I have known.


Ha

 

[eytonxav]

You bathe with your clothes on?

No, but if there is an argument with a DW involved, one could conceivably end up in the drink with their clothes on.

 

[Moscyn]

DH is happier with me since I retired though he won't fully admit it because he really misses my paycheck. He is also happier with our lifestyle especially the home-cooked meals he is getting and the convenience of having someone at home to handle home and family matters. Also, I don't moan and groan and complain about work anymore over dinner. Instead, we talk about everyday news and happenings.

 

[rescueme]

...really misses my paycheck.

He does?

 

[My Dream]

As Nords said....Absolutely.

As a matter of fact DW told me either I retire or think about moving out. I was a workaholic in a very stressful, long hours self employed job. I was not only doing my job, but also some of my bosses job since he didn't know how to. Eventually they all got fired and I did the new guys job. Dw even got a part time job (when I retired) since we were concerned about the money. While I was self employed she took care of all the paper work.

I now have more time to spend with her and the kids and do much needed reno's around the house. Mind you I still have nightmares and feel a bit depressed having to give up all the money..... and I never had to look for the next job, it always came to me. I still sometime think....if I would have only worked one more year, but I know our marriage wouldn't have made it....... I was falling apart. I remember couple weeks before retiring I told my boss he needed to do his own job, that didn't go over well, my wife was sitting beside me when I said it. She told me that she'd been wanting to say that for a long time but, I needed to step away and retire.

 

[Sue J]

DH is the one who retired while I still have a small part time job. I'm happy he retired. The last 3 or 4 years before he retired we had always had the worry of him losing his job. When it finally happened retiring was the best option and it has worked out better than we expected.

He's very calm, happy and unwound. He gets to do whatever it is that he wants, whenever he wants. He has avoided all commitments besides doctor and dentist appointments. I've enjoyed seeing him learn how to play again.

How this all has affected me is that I don't get much alone time anymore but I've adapted. I like that he's here to bring in the groceries when I get home from the store.

When he was working we saved large chunks of money. Now we save small chunks of money most months and some months we have to use some savings if we've had a major expense, usually a needed home repair or medical expense.

I don't resent him being retired while I'm still working. I choose to keep my part time job because I want to still be contributing to savings and I like having something that's my own. I don't mean that the earnings are my own, that goes into the joint savings, I mean that there is a part of my life that's just for me. My part time job fits this need well.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

She is really happy. But she is the one who retired. I am happy because she decided to join me half-way around the world in a 2.5-world country.

 

[FinanceDude]

My wife would rather I worked, studied or volunteered, at least part-time. This is probably due to her having a very stressful job and having some 15 years of it. She is constantly bringing up those issues. But I am relentless in my apathy, laziness and indolence.
Despite her difficult job, or maybe because of it, she has decided to study a four year course in something that is substandard to her degree in Psychology, but somewhat related to her current job, even though it won´t make it any easier. The job, I mean.
Her new plans to study will -no doubt- make our relationship a bit more tense,.
I wouldn´t be surprised if she didn´t blame me for not encouraging her in her studies by me not taking any courses at all.......
I truly don´t understand her. She is up at 6 am to go to work, gets home at 3 30 pm and still thinks that it´s a shame not to do anything productive int the afternoons/evenings.

Ok, let me get this straight, your wife has a degree in psychology, and you are going to go to a psychologist? Isn't that like being unfaithful?

I don't know if this helps, but its a true story. As a young man, I fell for a clinical psychologist. Of course, she could not help but analyze me and tell me all the "problems" I had and suggest "fixes". I really liked her but this was causing problems in our relationship and making me defensive. One day I made an appointment to see her, using a fake name. I sat down and when she came in she seemed a little miffed. So, I started talking in the 3rd person about "this guy I know" (me) and "his girlfriend" (her). I said I was trying to be a good friend and offer advice because they were having problems and I wanted to understand why.

She seemed shocked I would do such a thing, but was not angry when I left the office. We got along great after that.......

 

[haha]

Ok, let me get this straight, your wife has a degree in psychology, and you are going to go to a psychologist? Isn't that like being unfaithful?

I don't know if this helps, but its a true story. As a young man, I fell for a clinical psychologist. Of course, she could not help but analyze me and tell me all the "problems" I had and suggest "fixes". I really liked her but this was causing problems in our relationship and making me defensive. One day I made an appointment to see her, using a fake name. I sat down and when she came in she seemed a little miffed. So, I started talking in the 3rd person about "this guy I know" (me) and "his girlfriend" (her). I said I was trying to be a good friend and offer advice because they were having problems and I wanted to understand why.

She seemed shocked I would do such a thing, but was not angry when I left the office. We got along great after that.......

Did she send you a bill?

 

[sundance]

My husband is older then me and he is one grumpy person to put it politely. He has had a whole personality change. It an't easy. God Bless.

 

[ohyes]

Have mentioned this before on the board, but my DH retired last July. I am working one more year. It is GREAT having him retired. I LOVE it and so does he.

He cooks (always claimed he could not follow recipes, but i used a Groupon for a 6 month subscription to thescramble.com and he is doing a wonderful job. He vacuums, does laundry, all the errands. I come home to a house much better looking than when i worked. Not sure how long this will last, but it works great now.

He goes to Panera Bread each morning for coffee and people-watching. He may look for a part-time job later, but we can make it fine without that.

Life is good. This school year is dragggggging by for me, though I will miss it (maybe). DH thought he would miss his teaching job, but does not. He misses "the kids and teaching", but kids and teaching were not why he retired....it was all the other stuff that comes with it.

 

[MichaelB]

My husband is older then me and he is one grumpy person to put it politely. He has had a whole personality change. It an't easy. God Bless.

Have mentioned this before on the board, but my DH retired last July. I am working one more year. It is GREAT having him retired. I LOVE it and so does he.

He cooks (always claimed he could not follow recipes, but i used a Groupon for a 6 month subscription to thescramble.com and he is doing a wonderful job. He vacuums, does laundry, all the errands. I come home to a house much better looking than when i worked. Not sure how long this will last, but it works great now.

He goes to Panera Bread each morning for coffee and people-watching. He may look for a part-time job later, but we can make it fine without that.

Life is good. This school year is dragggggging by for me, though I will miss it (maybe). DH thought he would miss his teaching job, but does not. He misses "the kids and teaching", but kids and teaching were not why he retired....it was all the other stuff that comes with it.

I am certain DW and offspring would find a lot in common with these.