Letting Go

[Mulligan]

Oddly enough for me, after five years of being retired, the only person I maintain a regular relationship from work is a guy as his boss I challenged him to a fist fight in the office. I was his boss, and he could infuriate me! With work out of the way, common interests started showing through.


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[Bestwifeever]

"Letting go" seems to be very individualized. Some never really do, like those who love what they did but leave the j#b because of the political hassles. One of my close relatives was a chemist who started his own small consulting business after he retired (not early, FWIW). It was his way of keeping the "fun" part of his science while ditching the politics. Others walk out the door and never look back.

It's all part of life...gotta find your own path.

So true. Turning in my credit card and office keys to my boss's inbox, all alone on my last day late in the evening as I finished up, was one of the most exhiliarating moments of my life. Picking DH up at his office after his last day, as he carted a box of stuff to the car, ditto. There was so much ahead of us, both expected and surprises, that looking back would have been so distracting.

 

[Ronstar]

It was easier letting go than I expected. I gave 18 months notice, and trained my replacement and assistant to handle everything. It was an easy transition because I worked with them on all of my projects for the last year of work. My last day was hectic and I didn't clean out my desk. It's still there vacant and I sit there for a few minutes whenever I visit. It's fun to visit my former coworkers every couple of months, but I have no desire to go back to work.


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[ExFlyBoy5]

I have been retired for about 5 months now. As a military guy, I am used to w*rk relationships coming and going. Even when you are on the road with folks for weeks at a time and friendships form when I moved on, (whether it be with an assignment or ultimately retiring), I really didn't stay in touch with most of them. Every now and then I would run into them on the road or even get to w*rk/fly with them again and usually the reunion was a good, fun time.


For about a month after retiring, I was still getting "group text messages" about stuff going on. Everything from "what's for lunch?" to "is the jet going to be ready tomorrow". I finally told them they really had to stop sending me those texts or I would change my number.


One of the things I *do* like about Facebook (and for the most part, I HATE it) is that I can keep up with some of my old AF buddies and since most of the guys (and gals) I served with are also retired, there isn't much talk about the AF days. One thing I did notice is that I "followed" several Facebook pages that are about planes I flew, organizations I was in and other general military stuff. I no longer follow most of those pages since I just really don't care anymore. Many folks looked at the time in the service as a "lifestyle" (and it really IS), but to me, it was nothing more than a j*b that I could tolerate most of time.


Anyway, as far as the last group I w*rked with, I have had lunch with a couple of them a couple of times, but for the most part, I have moved on and away from that former life...and it's GREAT!

 

[Tailgate]

It really doesn't matter whether you let go or not - they are going to move on.

+1... I started to become invisible as soon as I announced.. my staff (who I genuinely loved and appreciated) turned their attention to my successor and began politicking and jockeying for position with him... just human nature. I actually enjoyed observing the goings on with fascination. It was like I was back in High School...

As far as 'me' putting it behind me... took a couple of months to adjust then it started sinking in that I was in a new and wonderful territory.... good luck..

 

[ampeep]

My wife noticed that for people that retired, the relationships would never be the same. Retirees in her section would be invited to get-togethers, but they no longer had the same connection as before, so after a while they would decline the invitations.

Last week, I received a few e-mails from work asking about projects that are ongoing. Will be going back to the office on Tuesday to drop off gifts to selected people and to bring our two doggies along for the visit.

Tomorrow marks is the second Monday after my wife & I retired. It feels weird not having to work tomorrow abut it's nice!

 

[2B]

+1
The two things I can't believe I put up with for almost 40 years was the ~40 mile round trip daily commute into downtown Houston and the endless office politics.

I was doing close to 40 miles each way. I only lasted 3 years doing that before I pulled the plug. I fortunately didn't have to deal with office politics. I wasn't interested in getting promoted and didn't care if I got fired. I did my job and tried to be nice to everyone.

My wife noticed that for people that retired, the relationships would never be the same. Retirees in her section would be invited to get-togethers, but they no longer had the same connection as before, so after a while they would decline the invitations.

We have very few retirees out of my department in the almost 10 years I was there. I can only think of 3 real retirees and I'm one of them. The other two used to get invited to an annual "team building" event held in April. One never showed up and one came once the year after he retired. He wasn't invited last year. I haven't been invited so I suspect "budget cutting" has been applied.

I'm gone both physically and mentally.

 

[marko]

I will be retiring in a few weeks after managing a small department for a number of years. It's been a great ride and good job, most of the people who work for me i hired and I have become fond of. So those of you who have left good jobs with good people how have you let go and how long has it taken to put your job in the past?
bf

Took me about two or three full years to put the job behind me after 35 years of working with some exceptional people.

What surprised me the most was that the people I'd been closest to, and expected to stay in touch...never saw them again (after that awkward 'lunch get-together/stay in touch period of 3 months). The people who I felt just "worked with" me, have stayed in contact after 10 years now.

A fellow who had had a lot of transfers and moves once told me: "in general, 10% of the people are sad to see you go, 10% are happy to see you go, and 80% don't give a damn either way"

 

[Dd852]

A fellow who had had a lot of transfers and moves once told me: "in general, 10% of the people are sad to see you go, 10% are happy to see you go, and 80% don't give a damn either way"

This was so true for me too. And I never would have guessed who would fall into which category (other than a couple of obvious ones). You can't feel too hurt about people you really felt something for who drop you, yet you can feel pleasantly surprised by the real dark horses who somehow were touched by you in ways you had no idea about.


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[Which Roger]

A fellow who had had a lot of transfers and moves once told me: "in general, 10% of the people are sad to see you go, 10% are happy to see you go, and 80% don't give a damn either way"

I haven't been back in the building since I ERd about 19 months ago, but it would be interesting to go back and say hi to people and see how many of them hadn't even realize that I was gone.

 

[38Chevy454]

First job out of college was at a large mega corp aerospace company. Heard a saying there that I still repeat to this day:
"Put your hand in a bucket of water and then pull it out, the hole that is left is how much you will be missed"

I am sure for smaller companies this is less true, but for large places I think it is accurate.

 

[ampeep]

First job out of college was at a large mega corp aerospace company. Heard a saying there that I still repeat to this day:
"Put your hand in a bucket of water and then pull it out, the hole that is left is how much you will be missed"

I am sure for smaller companies this is less true, but for large places I think it is accurate.

Very interesting comment about working for that aerospace company!

When I lived in Seattle, work slowed down at my firm, so I was 'loaned' to a large aerospace company. My desk was in a very large space with desks as far as the eye could see to the front/back/sides of me. They even had a closed circuit TV station providing company news.

 

[marko]

Heard a saying there that I still repeat to this day:
"Put your hand in a bucket of water and then pull it out, the hole that is left is how much you will be missed"

Doesn't sound like that worked for Van Halen regarding David Lee Roth, but I digress...

 

[LinCella]

I worked at my place for over 25 years, ending as a manager. I loved working with most everyone at the organization, except my boss. She made my life there horrible that as soon as I hit my magic number of $, I retired at 54.

I still miss hanging with my friends at work, we laughed every day and it was a very creative atmosphere. I still see some of them but find that I have to be the one who contacts them for social activities. I was so happy not to be there under the thumb of my boss that the minute I retired I was gone in every which way.

Went to a retirement party there last month and fell into easy conversation and laughter with everyone but after awhile they were talking about things I had no part of, new department jokes I didn't understand and a definite clique feeling came over me. I left promptly but decided to look at it philosophically and to maintain friendship with those that feel the same way. I see the other retired folks from work as well, we all keep in touch.

 

[Bamaman]

My office was 4 hours from home, and we worked from home. Throughout the years, we spent months living in hotels in Atlanta working in the office with 10-12 other road warriors. And we were very close.

Our company downsized, closed field offices and left employees working from home until we reached 55 years of age. Forced retirement was great.

But virtually nobody we were so close with ever talks to each other. We all went our own way in retirement.

 

[jerome len]

I worked for a major newspaper and left them in 1975. I'm in an industry reported on by the newspaper and I still have friends there today. Each generation of writers has introduced me to their replacement. ........it's still fun and although I live in another city I still read their newspaper each day.....on the internet.