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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-23-2005, 05:12 AM   #21
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Re: Living With Your Children

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Originally Posted by yakers
How about FI/RE land, anyone living with or planning to live with the kids?
If it comes to that I hope someone justs shoots me. They were trouble when they lived at home they are trouble now. I would rather live under a bridge

Kitty
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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-24-2005, 09:52 AM   #22
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Re: Living With Your Children

I still have a kid at home and the other one just moved out last month.

I can't even think about living with them some day. I do need to figure something out since I'm single.
But at 53, I expect I have time to do that...
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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-24-2005, 10:34 AM   #23
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Re: Living With Your Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty
If it comes to that I hope someone justs shoots me. They were trouble when they lived at home they are trouble now. I would rather live under a bridge

Kitty
Just one more reason I keep several guns nearby.

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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-24-2005, 04:41 PM   #24
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Re: Living With Your Children

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Just one more reason I keep several guns nearby.


That just struck me as so funny It must be the turkey overdose or something
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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-29-2005, 11:30 AM   #25
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Re: Living With Your Children

It all depends on personalities.* If you have a mutual respect for each other, it can work, but there are eldercare forums filled with horror stories from stressed-out children.* My dad moved in with me this past year ( the alternative was the street or the Vet's home ).* Allowing him to move in was the biggest mistake I've made and he's out by Feb at the latest, even if it means the street.* I should have known better, but I can be a softie.* He's pathologically irresponsible and dependent ( which is why he's 62 with no job, no savings, no car, no house, no unburned bridges with relatives ).* He's been various degrees of estranged from family for the last 20 years ( I am 27).

Personally, I would never impose on my kids ( if/when I have them ).* If I get to the point of needing care, it will be in assisted living.* On the other hand, if my kids are the responsible type that I was, I would definitely let them live with me to cut their expenses in their early adult years.* Otherwise, they will have to stand on their own feet.
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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-30-2005, 11:29 AM   #26
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Re: Living With Your Children

dunc0029:
Husband had a colleague whose father lived in a Vets home because of alzheimer's.* It wasn't a bad place at all.

Look at Vets Home facilities to determine if your father qualifies.* If that is really an option (even if he must get on a waiting list) you will have a lot less guilt about not letting him live with you.*

My brother is a Vietnam vet who recently divorced and lost his health insurance.* He was accepted by his local Veteran's hospital/clinic facility but there were a number of qualifying factors and a headcount limit.*

Get your father's ... head on a waiting list if possible.*
Quote:
He's pathologically irresponsible and dependent ( which is why he's 62 with no job, no savings, no car, no house, no unburned bridges with relatives ).
He may have psy issues which qualify him for residency.* Another problem, long term, may be keeping him there.* These folks tend to walk because of difficulty dealing with structure.* You may need to create an enviornment that makes the Vet's home look like heaven when compared to his other housing options.
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Re: Living With Your Children
Old 11-30-2005, 09:56 PM   #27
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Re: Living With Your Children

We had my wife's parents living with us for 10 years while our kids were young. It worked out pretty well, but now they are happily living back in the City (they are from China and love urban life) and we are all relaxing a bit more around the house. It was really great while the kids were young, though -- they often babysat for us, and the kids have warm relations with them.

It does require a house large enough to keep people from getting under each others' feet, though! Then, since they moved out, we've been left with more house than we need, but no desire to move from a place we love.
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