Losing my ambition (that's me in the corner)

[Sunset]

I was going to respond to this thread earlier but I just couldn't get motivated to think about it. Still haven't thought about it, just don't seem to care anymore.

Me too, but life is too short and I have less of it now...

 

[Morricol61]

I have slowed down too but have not come to a dead stop yet. I feel strangely dissatisfied and at a loose end if I haven't got something to look forward to or a list to cross off.

The most recent thing to get crossed off the list was to host a "ladies lunch" for girlfriends I used to work with, at my place. Not a big deal but it took a bit of work i.e. menu planning, shopping, cleaning and food prep but it was really satisfying when the day came and the event was a success.

I am planning my next little project which is to teach my 10 year old granddaughter how to sew. I am going to start her off making and embroidering pillowcases on my old sewing machine. No one else in the family sews so it is important for me to teach her, otherwise she won't know how to make, mend or alter clothing or soft furnishings.

My goals are different these days and I am not driven, but I still need to make plans and have stuff to do otherwise everyday would be the same as the one before and the one to come.

 

[brucethebroker]

Hey Eddie, sounds a little like burnout to me....maybe it will pass, maybe not. Take some time off from the j*b to find out....

I lost much of my ambition when my business was destroyed by the great recession. Since then, and with semi-retirement (and a fun hobby job), my satisfaction has returned with a small amount of drive, but nowhere near what I had pre-2007.

The bonus is that I am much more relaxed...........

 

[Danmar]

I was always extremely ambitious. Served me very well in my career but once I became FI it faded away to a large extent. That's when ER became so desireable. Everybody is different.

Once retired, it took a while to adapt to my new circumstances, but even now 11 years in, I doubt anyone would describe me as other than a Type A personality. Still, a lot more relaxed and easy going than when I was working.

 

[davismills]

I've felt the same way recently, but I'm hoping it's just the summer blahs. It has been so hot in my area this year.

 

[Midpack]

I've been retired for over 6 years now. My pace has slowed but my ambition, maybe curiosity to be more precise, will probably never die. [e.g. I read all the time, but literally haven't read a fiction book since it was required in my school days, not one!]

Where the majority of my efforts went toward Megacorps goals (and I was handsomely paid) and less for my own, most of my time and effort now goes to whatever I want, which includes a little for others. A key for me is to have many interests, some changing, vs dedicating myself to one main pursuit. I am always learning, that makes me happy. I hope I never lose my ambition/curiosity, sounds life crushingly boring for me. Watching TV is the bottom of the barrel to me, a little goes a long way. YMMV

 

[candrew]

My drive and ambition dropped in proportion to the needle on my bullsh*t meter approaching max.

 

[Pilot2013]

Great reference to R.E.M. in the title

Like that you (OP) continued to respond as other's posted, seems like an active topic in your mind. Hope the responses help you clarify your thoughts.

I was aggressive in the earlier parts of my career and accomplished many of the things I wanted, mostly through force of will. Now understand I often wasn't a nice guy, even though I always delivered - it was the latter that kept me employed, and there was often counseling about my "approach".

At about 45, realized I wasn't willing to do what it took to continue to climb the corporate ladder, found my niche, moderated my approach, and settled in. Fortunate to have worked for people who understood what I could do, let me do it and provided cover when my aggressive tendencies came to the fore.

Wow.... I could have written this exact response to this point!

As to the OP, where i used to think about how I could become Corp VP, multi-plant management, etc EVERY DAY, now I think about how I can get through the next 3-5 years and pull the parachute cord EVERY DAY! I am just trying to get DW on the same page as me, which is taking some effort. I can't use that same "approach" as with my w*$k life.

 

[Scuba]

I was somewhat ambitious in my career, although I stepped off of the megacorp "fast track" to stay in So CA rather than relocate. Still, I worked hard and was pretty driven which enabled me to spend the last 10 years of my career in the C suite.

Retired 8 months ago and at first, operated similarly to pre-ER; had weekly to do lists, goals, etc. Then we took a 3-month retirement celebration trip to the USVI's. Just got home so we'll see what happens but the trip really helped me relax and realize that I don't need to fill up my calendar and have so many projects and goals. I also realized I don't want to be on Boards (previously thought I did and was actively networking to that end) and don't want to start my own business (was considering buying a franchise). I will probably always have some projects on my list, but I'm hoping the relaxed feeling I had while in the VI's can be carried over to my new retired life at home.

 

[Amethyst]

One of my friends is in her 80's. Retired Fed, like me but different line of work. She was always a terrific needlewoman. For years she has hosted "Grandma camp" for her granddaughter, teaching her to sew, embroider, and generally how to make things. The granddaughter is now into cosplay and loves to make her own costumes. My friend took her to a comic-con - they were both dressed in costumes they made.

I am planning my next little project which is to teach my 10 year old granddaughter how to sew. I am going to start her off making and embroidering pillowcases on my old sewing machine. No one else in the family sews so it is important for me to teach her, otherwise she won't know how to make, mend or alter clothing or soft furnishings.

.

 

[Fedup]

I love sewing and embroidering. I just need to get a bettter machine to do it, but my sister gave me a plain vanilla Singer so I now have no excuse to buy a new one.
But back when my kids were younger, I did make a lot of costumes for them. One kid won the best costume for her English class. It made me proud about my creativity.

 

[kcowan]

I grew up in a house. I then was a renter for 28 years. I got to tell you, this home ownership(i was 50 when i became one)isnt all that its cracked up to be. I occasionally miss the days of when the faucet was leaking saying"hey sweetie, call the super, tell him the sink is leaking, give him the bottle of scotch I got for Christmas"

We live in our own place in Mexico. Early on (2007) I was painting the railing when the handyman came by. He admonished me that he would do that for 100 pesos (about $8) including buying the paint and cleaning the brushes and I would be helping the local economy. OK sold!

Recently we had the water filter develop a leak and the guy narrowed it down to a defective part. He had to go to 8 different suppliers before finding the replacement part. These are all Spanish-speaking places. I realized that I would have probably bought a new unit instead of paying him 200 pesos.

I am gradually getting conditioned to be a delegater. And I do it more now NOTB. This from a guy who built an addition onto a former house single handedly.

Once in a while, I help the Garden Club with plantings but I am always frustrated when interested bystanders ask for more information and there is no handout to give them. Once a marketing guy, always...

 

[ears20]

I've been retired for over 6 years now. My pace has slowed but my ambition, maybe curiosity to be more precise, will probably never die. [e.g. I read all the time, but literally haven't read a fiction book since it was required in my school days, not one!]

Where the majority of my efforts went toward Megacorps goals (and I was handsomely paid) and less for my own, most of my time and effort now goes to whatever I want, which includes a little for others. A key for me is to have many interests, some changing, vs dedicating myself to one main pursuit. I am always learning, that makes me happy. I hope I never lose my ambition/curiosity, sounds life crushingly boring for me. Watching TV is the bottom of the barrel to me, a little goes a long way. YMMV

+1

I've spent the last 25 years in a field for which I have no passion. My ambition for career achievement is approaching zero, yet there are many things I'm eager to do in retirement: re-connect with those fields I remain keenly interested in (even if there won't be any monetary compensation), immerse myself in the activities of daily living (cooking, gardening), pursue my hobbies without feeling guilty about the time required, and fill in the gaps in my education.

It won't seem ambitious to those still on the corporate hamster wheel, but I think becoming a happier, more well-rounded person - a modern-day Renaissance Man - is a worthy goal.

 

[NW-Bound]

... as I've gotten older (55 now), I find a lot of that stuff has just dropped away...

I gave up on career when my chance of becoming "someone" went away with the two startups I was a founding member of. The only thing left was the money and the fun of doing technical work and building something. Both faded with time as my stash grew, and my remaining time on earth shortened.

I quit my part-time consulting work at 55. Had some doubts at first, but not anymore as I am older, weaker, more laid back now. It's over.

 

[bigcmagor]

If it's a virus, I have it. I had the ambition to make it to the top and did. I used to think everyone was my competitor in climbing the ladder but found out otherwise. What I did learn was the stress of being the decision maker during the financial crisis was enough to make me question why I wanted the job in the first place. Most everyone else (who remained anyway), clocked out and went home. I didn't have that luxury.


Our owner and grandson of the company founder (whom I respect a great deal), told me during the worst of the crisis that his lifestyle wasn't affected at all by those serious economic events. At the time, my income was down 80% and I was losing $200,000 per year in net worth.


I got into the habit of leaving the office daily at 2:30pm because that's when the daily chest pains started and I figured I'd rather die at home than in the office. The company recovered nicely in the years since, but my ambition to make it larger and more successful left me during that time.


Currently working 10-15 hours per week and am putting myself out to pasture as quickly as I can without causing disruption in the business.

 

[ER Eddie]

OP here. Thanks for the input, everyone.

Reflecting on the thread motivated me to do a little goal-setting. Although there are many good things about "losing my ambition," I am also feeling unsettled about it. I've fallen into a comfortable routine. It is easy and low-stress, but it is not a very good use of my time.

I realized that I need some goals in my life again, that just "doing what I feel like" really wasn't producing results I liked. I too easily gravitated toward the easy, the familiar, the automatic.

So I've set some goals for myself, to help break me out of my comfortable complacency. I have no interest in becoming driven or ambitious again, but I do think I need goals and a sense of forward movement.

 

[Tree-dweller]

OP here. Thanks for the input, everyone.

Reflecting on the thread motivated me to do a little goal-setting. Although there are many good things about "losing my ambition," I am also feeling unsettled about it. I've fallen into a comfortable routine. It is easy and low-stress, but it is not a very good use of my time.

I realized that I need some goals in my life again, that just "doing what I feel like" really wasn't producing results I liked. I too easily gravitated toward the easy, the familiar, the automatic.

So I've set some goals for myself, to help break me out of my comfortable complacency. I have no interest in becoming driven or ambitious again, but I do think I need goals and a sense of forward movement.

You sound like my DW. That's ok, I still love and like her. Maybe the diff is that she retired only about two years ago, while I've been a no-account layabout (only a slight exaggeration ) for going on six. It takes awhile to appreciate FIRE.

 

[Skoach]

Lost my ambition slowly over time. Was the go-to guy at my Megacorp after a major merger which allowed me to choose to get out of IT management and back to technical work I loved. I came through on each aggressive deadline because of my drive to succeed even though I had topped out as a individual contributor.
Then after the team I was on was placed on mandatory 60 hour work weeks to complete a project, I figured out that they had been taking advantage of my unwillingness to fail more and more over time. Changed my attitude instantly and I had a new mantra...don't be afraid to fail.
I was still the top technical dog, but spoke my mind more and pushed back on unrealistic deadlines. Most importantly, I made sure I had a proper work-life balance.
Three years later, I negotiated a early exit at 51 that I was very happy with. 18 months into FIRE and I can't believe I put up with it that long.

 

[Koolau]

There was time when I thought I was doing some very important w*rk for my Megacrop. It was all in the nature of "Hey, there is a serious problem, now what are we going to do?" And then I would step in. Oddly, once the "problem" was solved, it was back to the grind with no thanks and no remembrance - until the next big crisis.

I can actually recall early in my c*reer, topping the little hill by the plant site and getting a thrill. How could I be so lucky as to w*rk here. I still kind of feel that way (in retrospect - the luck part) but I'm betting I couldn't find 40 people who remember me by name and no more than 2 or 3 who would recall any of my significant accomplishments. IOW, we live, we w*rk, we die and no one really particularly cares. I guess it's just the way of the world. Being upset by it is a fools errand. YMMV

 

[mamadogmamacat]

There was time when I thought I was doing some very important w*rk for my Megacrop. It was all in the nature of "Hey, there is a serious problem, now what are we going to do?" And then I would step in. Oddly, once the "problem" was solved, it was back to the grind with no thanks and no remembrance - until the next big crisis.

I can actually recall early in my c*reer, topping the little hill by the plant site and getting a thrill. How could I be so lucky as to w*rk here. I still kind of feel that way (in retrospect - the luck part) but I'm betting I couldn't find 40 people who remember me by name and no more than 2 or 3 who would recall any of my significant accomplishments. IOW, we live, we w*rk, we die and no one really particularly cares. I guess it's just the way of the world. Being upset by it is a fools errand. YMMV

+1 Could not have said it better. Although in my case, the plant for that early in my career job is also long since gone.

 

[JBmadera]

yep, that's me too.

 

[Marita40]

I had lots of drive and ambition throughout my young life. In my career, there was always the next level of something to strive for. I reached the proverbial glass ceiling in my mid-50s and then switched from full time faculty status to a mid-level administrative position. The pay level remained the same with only cost of living bumps from here until I retire, but the work is about 80% easier and far more routine. Because I'm an efficient worker, I have lots of free time. No question that I am bored at work in ways I never was before, but I am also grateful for the no-stress situation as I start to "slide" toward retirement in a few years. I can relate to the OP in that I am struggling a bit with new goals, new priorities, none of which are work related for the first time.

 

[scrabbler1]

Reading some of the more recent posts reminded me of something else related to losing my ambition over the years at my former job.


When I first switched to working part-time in 2001 after 16 years of FT work, my little mantra was, "You can have my mind, but not my body." That is, I was available to be the "answer man" for the many questions which arose. But after 7 years of that (when I retired), my new mantra was "You can't have my mind or my body!"

 

[Walt34]

I've been retired for 14 years. My sig line expresses my attitude now.

 

[shortstop14]

Lost my ambition slowly over time. Was the go-to guy at my Megacorp after a major merger which allowed me to choose to get out of IT management and back to technical work I loved. I came through on each aggressive deadline because of my drive to succeed even though I had topped out as a individual contributor.
Then after the team I was on was placed on mandatory 60 hour work weeks to complete a project, I figured out that they had been taking advantage of my unwillingness to fail more and more over time. Changed my attitude instantly and I had a new mantra...don't be afraid to fail.
I was still the top technical dog, but spoke my mind more and pushed back on unrealistic deadlines. Most importantly, I made sure I had a proper work-life balance.

I can relate to this. Not sure why it took so long to figure out that there would always be a new unrealistic deadline, always be another IT project. And that getting work done efficiently just ended up with more work being assigned. Mandatory overtime really was the stake through my corporate ambition.

A brief stint in management showed me early on that being a technical contributor and project lead was more than far enough up the corporate ladder for me.