Great reference to R.E.M. in the title
Like that you (OP) continued to respond as other's posted, seems like an active topic in your mind. Hope the responses help you clarify your thoughts.
I was aggressive in the earlier parts of my career and accomplished many of the things I wanted, mostly through force of will. Now understand I often wasn't a nice guy, even though I always delivered - it was the latter that kept me employed, and there was often counseling about my "approach".
At about 45, realized I wasn't willing to do what it took to continue to climb the corporate ladder, found my niche, moderated my approach, and settled in. Fortunate to have worked for people who understood what I could do, let me do it and provided cover when my aggressive tendencies came to the fore.