No "must do" in retirement

[Red Badger]

Must. Do. What. What. The. Hell. I. WANT! To. Do.

 

[JoeWras]

Surely a 'bucket list' is, (or should be), comprised of things you always wanted to do, places you always wanted to visit, and previously had neither the time or the money to do so?

That's what it should be. But in the world today, you gotta "Keep up with the Joneses" so going to Machu Picchu* is a must for the list, no matter how you feel about it.

* - No offense to Machu Picchu visitors. Really hope you enjoyed it. This just seems to be the #1 travel bucket item on many of my acquaintances lists. It is not mine.

 

[SoReady]

I was just talking with my brother the other day. He was reluctantly on a hike with some people up some hill (mountain) in the Phoenix area when he decided he wasn't going any further. He went on to explain it was something on their bucket list but he decided it was on his f*ckit list!

 

[Chuckanut]

The latest clickbate is to publish something like "Five Things You Must Do When Frying Bacon". I assume the bacon police are just waiting outside your door to drag you to jail if you miss doing one of these things.

Really, it is getting tiring.

 

[oneill225]

If the Dr. gave you bad news tomorrow, what would you regret, if anything? If there is anything there, do that NOW!

I have a lot of life ahead of me. I plan on living it and enjoying it. Sitting around is not my idea of living.

This is where I am at, as well. I retired because I wanted control over my time well before my time runs out.

I am now a year and a half into this adventure and I am not forcing anything, just doing what I want while pondering why I want it and whether I will, someday, regret not wanting and doing more.

Honestly, I am grateful for the subtle pressures to get out and do more because I can easily ignore them if I am not in the mood while jumping on an opportunity that seems fun or interesting.

I may filter through a hundred suggested activities before I find one that clicks for me. In the process, I rarely view these suggestions as some attempt to shame me into action.

Another way to look at it, I may not be looking for 99% of the items available while shopping in my local grocery store, but every now and then I buy something on a whim. Options are good.

Things like bucket lists are not the enemy, they are just more options on the shelf. Buy what you like.

 

[bloom2708]

I tell my kids "Doing nothing is doing something and doing nothing is very very hard to do". They don't get it.

Someday they will.

 

[CoolRich59]

Note the tagline.

I have - and you are a personal inspiration to me.

 

[CoolRich59]

I started my day with nothing to do and at the end of the day I still had not accomplished anything.

Reminds me of the great Zig Ziglar line: I got nowhere to go, and nothing to do when I get there!

 

[Midpack]

I read the article, but it seemed like in every example, the retirees were putting pressure on themselves, no one else was. And there were many example of folks who weren’t pressuring themselves. It seemed to stem from retirees living longer than generations ago.

I have a bucket list, but there are no deadlines or expectations. It changes from time to time and if a knock out a few great, if not that’s OK too. It’s just a list of things I’d like to do myself. Doesn’t mean anyone else needs to do the same...nothing to bristle over.

 

[Amethyst]

Gesundheit! Sorry, couldn't resist

going to Machu Picchu.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Traveling some each year is our only goal. We usually take 2 big trips and then some smaller ones in our RV. Each year we pick 2 places we would like to see. Some years it changes by the time we decide where to go.

 

[joejetski]

I have a lot of must-do's, referred to as "chores" and "responsibilities." Taking care of the house and yard, paying the bills, ensuring meals are nutritious, going to the gym, etc.

I do sense, via Internet discussions of retirement, occasional little inferences that I am supposed to "downsize" or shuck off these things, in order to have as much "fun" as others are supposedly having. Their ideas of fun may not match mine....and any inferences that others are supposed to do this or that is, in my view, nothing but peer pressure. "I do this, so everybody oughta, or else they're wrongheaded."

I somewhat agree with you, but when you are pre-retirement you have all these things and typically a 40+ hr a week job. And if you have a family, then many of your travel locations were where they wanted to go doing things they wanted to do. The bucket list idea is good in that it goves you things to think about, and goals to shoot for that incorporate planning for finances, accounting for health etc. You dont have to make your buckrt list a new career, but it does help to set priorities for planning etc.

 

[Tree-dweller]

Things like bucket lists are not the enemy, they are just more options on the shelf. Buy what you like.

Yeah, “bucket list” seems to be viewed often as filled with “must-do’s” as opposed to “Hmmm, these might be fun.” As someone who can be distracted by the over abundance of options uncovered by financial independence (whatever your definition) combined with a lot of free time - ya know, FIRE - I find it useful to have a “short list”. Otherwise I might get distracted, paralyzed even, by too many items on the menu.
But having such a distraction I hope I never call it a “problem”. I recognize how lucky I am.

 

[pb4uski]

I deeply resent anybody telling me what I should do. I do what I want to do. ...

I thought that you were getting married.

 

[brucethebroker]

“The downside,” he added, “is that it creates a lot of pressure on everybody. People are going start to fear that if they’re not making the most of themselves or being sufficiently productive in their later days, they’re going to be looked down on.”

Hahahahahaha! Nice try, bonehead!

 

[Scuba]

I was just talking with my brother the other day. He was reluctantly on a hike with some people up some hill (mountain) in the Phoenix area when he decided he wasn't going any further. He went on to explain it was something on their bucket list but he decided it was on his f*ckit list!

[emoji23] LOL

 

[Calico]

I somewhat agree with you, but when you are pre-retirement you have all these things and typically a 40+ hr a week job. And if you have a family, then many of your travel locations were where they wanted to go doing things they wanted to do. The bucket list idea is good in that it goves you things to think about, and goals to shoot for that incorporate planning for finances, accounting for health etc. You dont have to make your buckrt list a new career, but it does help to set priorities for planning etc.

I do all of the above now because someone pays me to do so.

When I retire I plan to do none of them, all of the time.

 

[TimeMeasure]

I was just talking with my brother the other day. He was reluctantly on a hike with some people up some hill (mountain) in the Phoenix area when he decided he wasn't going any further. He went on to explain it was something on their bucket list but he decided it was on his f*ckit list!

I love it!

Seriously, what are the valid reasons to care what someone else thinks? Can think of three:

One is the social compact. But in a compact, both parties have mutual obligation and mutual benefit. Out of all the people who collectively create “societal expectations,” exactly how many are going to come to the aid of me or DW if we run into difficulties, of any sort - health, finances, etc.? Exactly zero. So what obligation do we have to fulfill their societal expectations? Exactly zero. Our bucket list, if any, is exactly that - ours.

Second reason to care what someone else thinks is if you need to, in order to obtain the resources to survive. But that’s not really caring what they think, just having to factor it in. E.g., working at megacorp, where you have to mentally model the thought processes of everyone else, and then decide how best to communicate, in order to obtain the results you need. But when you reach financial independence, that need to care what they think... vanishes.

Third reason to care what someone else thinks is if you care about them and respect them personally. It’s important to treat everyone with respect, but the number of people with whom there’s a deeper affinity is a lot smaller than “society at large.”

 

[OHjosh]

At Thanksgiving, my 35 year old nephew told me how I was wasting my precious time in retirement. I should travel; take up some new challenges (he waxed poetic about rock climbing); in short, tackle that bucket list before I was too old to do so. (I am 62). I took upset from that because his words match those of the driver guy in my head.

But I seem to be hitting a rubicon of sorts. I am plenty busy taking care of my basic needs, reading, writing, walking and kiting when the weather is above 45 degrees . If something on my bucket list is really important, it will keep coming back to me and I will do it then.

What does a 35 year old know about retirement anyways?

 

[Amethyst]

Excellent post.

I love it!

Seriously, what are the valid reasons to care what someone else thinks? Can think of three:

One is the social compact. But in a compact, both parties have mutual obligation and mutual benefit. Out of all the people who collectively create “societal expectations,” exactly how many are going to come to the aid of me or DW if we run into difficulties, of any sort - health, finances, etc.? Exactly zero. So what obligation do we have to fulfill their societal expectations? Exactly zero. Our bucket list, if any, is exactly that - ours.

Second reason to care what someone else thinks is if you need to, in order to obtain the resources to survive. But that’s not really caring what they think, just having to factor it in. E.g., working at megacorp, where you have to mentally model the thought processes of everyone else, and then decide how best to communicate, in order to obtain the results you need. But when you reach financial independence, that need to care what they think... vanishes.

Third reason to care what someone else thinks is if you care about them and respect them personally. It’s important to treat everyone with respect, but the number of people with whom there’s a deeper affinity is a lot smaller than “society at large.”

 

[Amethyst]

He must be related to the 35- and 40-year-old women who write blogs advising women over 60 on what they should and should not wear.

What, exactly, does a 35-year-old woman know about what looks good on me? Her standards are totally different, and she has a lot to learn anyway.

At Thanksgiving, my 35 year old nephew told me how I was wasting my precious time in retirement.
What does a 35 year old know about retirement anyways?

 

[Maenad]

Yeah, “bucket list” seems to be viewed often as filled with “must-do’s” as opposed to “Hmmm, these might be fun.”

My list of things to do in retirement is exactly that. Thanks to the brilliant, insightful people here, I know that what I think I'll want in retirement and what I'll actually want once I get there can be very different, so I'm constantly working on a list of interesting things. All that remains is to be self-aware enough to see what actually makes me happy. That, of course, is a much bigger challenge.

 

[kcowan]

Clearly written by someone who's never been married.

I'm in the "have a bucket list and enjoy plugging away at it" camp of early retirees but that's me - as others have said, retirement is about choosing how you want to spend your time.

I used to work away at my job jar. Now I just do what I want and outsource the rest after 15 years.

 

[kcowan]

* - No offense to Machu Picchu visitors. Really hope you enjoyed it. This just seems to be the #1 travel bucket item on many of my acquaintances lists. It is not mine.

It was on my list until the doc said not to attempt it because of COPD. That ship has sailed.

 

[GravitySucks]

I thought that you were getting married.

[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]