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Old 07-19-2011, 03:02 PM   #61
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What are his choices?
I find the "ignore" option works well in this area ...

PS: I did leave the forum years ago, but came back, after I found this feature. Too bad the BH forum does not have the ignore function, or I would still post there.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:14 PM   #62
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I find the "ignore" option works well in this area ...

PS: I did leave the forum years ago, but came back, after I found this feature. Too bad the BH forum does not have the ignore function, or I would still post there.
For the Bogleheads forum (BH?), nowadays I try to keep my posts as terse as possible. Kind of like math where it's all in the equation. It then feels like I've not expended too much energy with replies. Several times I've felt that my contribution was completely ignored even though it was very much on topic and substantive. BH threads do tend to get caught up in minutia and some posters have a problem with their "economic religious" views IMO. Still I've appreciated the different points of view and have got many good ideas there.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:20 PM   #63
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ENFP, I'm pretty sure that getting rid of work will only increase my ability to spend time with my friends, the hours I have to spend at the office are the biggest impediment to my social life already.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:03 PM   #64
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...(snip)...
I used to frequent a cigar forum. I had even become "friends" with some of the regulars. A get together was planned and I committed to travel across the country to go. I even volunteered to help set the thing up. A few PMs later the other guys I was planning this with just stopped communicating. I went on the trip since this gathering wasn't the only purpose. Once I got back, still no communication despite repeated attempts. I was really upset by that. I thought they were my "friends".

It's so much easier to blow people off if you've never met them and have a superficial relationship online. How many people on here just stop posting, even after months or years. You'd rarely do that to a real friend. You just wouldn't stop calling and avoid them for no reason, but online it's pretty common. There is a danger in getting too involved with people you don't know online. Its not the same as in person.

Of course, most of you are fine human beings, salt of the earth.
That cigar forum story was poignant (my day for big words ).

I guess the fact that most people do not use their names says something about their desire for a strong personal relationship. Having seen falling outs on the web between highly intelligent people who should know better, maybe that anonymity is a good thing. Maybe we should come to see these exchanges as allowing people to express themselves more fully without the barrier of being too nice. Of course, you should still observe reasonable etiquette.

Maybe there is a little pepper mixed in with that salt (of the earth).
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:18 PM   #65
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I find the "ignore" option works well in this area
I have found use for the ignore feature myself.

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Originally Posted by Lsbcal View Post
That cigar forum story was poignant (my day for big words ).

I guess the fact that most people do not use their names says something about their desire for a strong personal relationship. Having seen falling outs on the web between highly intelligent people who should know better, maybe that anonymity is a good thing. Maybe we should come to see these exchanges as allowing people to express themselves more fully without the barrier of being too nice. Of course, you should still observe reasonable etiquette.
I try to take my activity for what it is now. We are friendly, but probably not friends for the most part. We discuss issues on a certain topic, but anything beyond our like-minded interesting in ER, for instance, is probably not there. Not that the people aren't good people or that we might become friends if we met, but retain a do certain anonymity. In many cases, we may not want more than casual discussion.
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:57 PM   #66
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We moved three years ago to a new state and immediately joined lots of art groups, gardening groups, etc. Within months we had lots of new friends. You do have to make an effort though. I would suggest not joining art or hobby groups that just meet and watch a presentation; join a group that has workshops and hands-on study groups at alternating houses. I find that's when you really get to know the other members as you sit down to either a bag lunch or pot luck during the breaks. Some ideas if you are not a painter: book arts (making hand-made journals, either blank or artsy); calligraphy; beading; quilting, etc. Some of these groups will get together and make things for charity or to send to the troops overseas etc., and that's where true friendships are made.
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Old 07-19-2011, 08:56 PM   #67
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For the Bogleheads forum (BH?), nowadays I try to keep my posts as terse as possible. Kind of like math where it's all in the equation. It then feels like I've not expended too much energy with replies. Several times I've felt that my contribution was completely ignored even though it was very much on topic and substantive. BH threads do tend to get caught up in minutia and some posters have a problem with their "economic religious" views IMO. Still I've appreciated the different points of view and have got many good ideas there.
Man you got that right! Anything I post gets ignored or belittled. I'm pretty tired of it and just read seldom posting anymore.


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Quote:
Too bad the BH forum does not have the ignore function, or I would still post there.
That's a shame, I always enjoyed your posts and I noticed you have been absent for a while. I thought you had a lot to offer.
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Old 07-19-2011, 09:32 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by Lsbcal View Post
For the Bogleheads forum (BH?), nowadays I try to keep my posts as terse as possible. Kind of like math where it's all in the equation. It then feels like I've not expended too much energy with replies. Several times I've felt that my contribution was completely ignored even though it was very much on topic and substantive. BH threads do tend to get caught up in minutia and some posters have a problem with their "economic religious" views IMO. Still I've appreciated the different points of view and have got many good ideas there.
Like Veremchuka says, many at Bogleheads are there to talk, not listen.

I find it very difficult to use the ancient software, too.
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Old 07-19-2011, 09:56 PM   #69
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Like Veremchuka says, many at Bogleheads are there to talk, not listen.

...
As the English say, you are spot on with that observation.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:45 AM   #70
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Like Veremchuka says, many at Bogleheads are there to talk, not listen.
That is likely why I never go there. I got my fill of know-it-alls at work, and if I feel the need, I can always ask my female companion!
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:54 AM   #71
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That is likely why I never go there. I got my fill of know-it-alls at work, and if I feel the need, I can always ask my female companion!
If she were truly a know-it-all, you wouldn't have to ask her.

Ha
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Old 07-20-2011, 03:54 PM   #72
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I like Bogleheads. I learned a lot about investing over there.

I don't contribute much to that forum at all, though. I'm not sure why - - maybe they are too serious for me. They never even mention bacon or dryer sheets.
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Old 07-20-2011, 05:19 PM   #73
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I like Bogleheads. I learned a lot about investing over there.

I don't contribute much to that forum at all, though. I'm not sure why - - maybe they are too serious for me. They never even mention bacon or dryer sheets.
Maybe we should launch an attack - bacon, dryer sheets, jokes, pictures of our pets, badgers, and what we did today. That'll teach 'em
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Old 07-20-2011, 05:20 PM   #74
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I have been posting on Bogleheads for about as long as I have been posting here. I don't post there very often unless a rare thread piques my interest, maybe one thread in every 20 or so.
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Old 07-20-2011, 05:32 PM   #75
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Maybe we should launch an attack - bacon, dryer sheets, jokes, pictures of our pets, badgers, and what we did today. That'll teach 'em
Yeah! And don't forget youtubes of great songs we remember. Then we'd probably post more over there.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:56 PM   #76
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I don't contribute much to that forum at all, though. I'm not sure why - - maybe they are too serious for me. They never even mention bacon or dryer sheets.
Their posters probably live in fear of their moderators!

It's quite the set of community rules over there.
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Old 07-21-2011, 01:22 PM   #77
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It's quite the set of community rules over there.
I understand that they accept voluntary contributions (through Paypal). Does anyone know whether that is successful?
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Old 07-21-2011, 04:44 PM   #78
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Their posters probably live in fear of their moderators!

It's quite the set of community rules over there.
Yes, it's like 1st grade. You have to tippy toe around all sorts of issues that you can discuss here without any trouble. Threads get locked at the drop of a hat. It's too bad because there are a lot of very smart people there and one could have a more enjoyable experience if the mods weren't so anal. Don't even ask questions that they disapprove of because a host of self righteous know it alls will reply with belittling answers. It discourages people from posting especially newbies.
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Old 07-21-2011, 05:12 PM   #79
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I think we could be more even handed about the BH site. I agree with some of the criticism, but to be fair that site has a huge audience. Right now there are 238 people on the site and of those there are 212 "guests". New people quite often get the BH religion and become too zealous. Also many new posters haven't bothered to use search to see if there questions or topics have been discussed a lot before.

If I get annoyed at the BH site I'll just go to read only mode. There are so many threads that the good ones tend to get lost in the stupid ones pushing threads off the first page screen. Still there are some good thoughts at times but as in any internet sites there are a lot of posts each of us would rather not see.
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:00 PM   #80
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I think we could be more even handed about the BH site. I agree with some of the criticism, but to be fair that site has a huge audience. Right now there are 238 people on the site and of those there are 212 "guests"...
Pfft, amateurs--right now e-r.org has 85 members and 469 guests; right now BH has 22 registered, 5 hidden and 167 guests.
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