Maybe take baby steps towards this sort of thing? Although I'll admit that fear of rejection in even modest social encounters can be a scary thing. I haven't dated anyone in over 40 years so that would be really scary....(snip)...
Now I just have to decide what I want to do about it...
Nothing... Volunteer... Social Groups... Move closer to family... Date (sigh)...
Options abound... but I fear that my desire to have meaningful relationships conflict with a general distaste I have for people.
I love seeing and talking to people. I just don't care to be in a position where they are entitled to judge me and tell me what to do. Those studies were conducted by extroverts who see no reason to retire.
My spouse says she'd make that really scary for me, too...
And yet, you post here?
Options abound... but I fear that my desire to have meaningful relationships conflict with a general distaste I have for people.
). We have a little of your dual personality thing going on too.
I really do see what you mean, but there are several things on this board at least that may make it more attractive to just do a swan dive, should someone want to leave. A lot of smart ass comments, especially if the leaver is angry or feeling slighted and he expresses that in his farewell. What are his choices? He can say bye, I love you all very much and this board is the best meat in the deli, but if angry, how many of us would feel great about doing that? He could give his true reasons for leaving, and maybe hurt some feelings and maybe get some unpleasant blowback. Or he can just ride off into the sunset.It's so much easier to blow people off if you've never met them and have a superficial relationship online. How many people on here just stop posting, even after months or years. You'd rarely do that to a real friend. You just wouldn't stop calling and avoid them for no reason, but online it's pretty common. There is a danger in getting too involved with people you don't know online. Its not the same as in person.
Of course, most of you are fine human beings, salt of the earth.
And yet, you post here?
I find the "ignore" option works well in this area
...
For the Bogleheads forum (BH?), nowadays I try to keep my posts as terse as possible. Kind of like math where it's all in the equation. It then feels like I've not expended too much energy with replies. Several times I've felt that my contribution was completely ignored even though it was very much on topic and substantive. BH threads do tend to get caught up in minutia and some posters have a problem with their "economic religious" views IMO. Still I've appreciated the different points of view and have got many good ideas there.I find the "ignore" option works well in this area
PS: I did leave the forum years ago, but came back, after I found this feature. Too bad the BH forum does not have the ignore function, or I would still post there.
That cigar forum story was poignant (my day for big words...(snip)...
I used to frequent a cigar forum. I had even become "friends" with some of the regulars. A get together was planned and I committed to travel across the country to go. I even volunteered to help set the thing up. A few PMs later the other guys I was planning this with just stopped communicating. I went on the trip since this gathering wasn't the only purpose. Once I got back, still no communication despite repeated attempts. I was really upset by that. I thought they were my "friends".
It's so much easier to blow people off if you've never met them and have a superficial relationship online. How many people on here just stop posting, even after months or years. You'd rarely do that to a real friend. You just wouldn't stop calling and avoid them for no reason, but online it's pretty common. There is a danger in getting too involved with people you don't know online. Its not the same as in person.
Of course, most of you are fine human beings, salt of the earth.
).
I find the "ignore" option works well in this area
That cigar forum story was poignant (my day for big words
I guess the fact that most people do not use their names says something about their desire for a strong personal relationship. Having seen falling outs on the web between highly intelligent people who should know better, maybe that anonymity is a good thing. Maybe we should come to see these exchanges as allowing people to express themselves more fully without the barrier of being too nice. Of course, you should still observe reasonable etiquette.
That's a shame, I always enjoyed your posts and I noticed you have been absent for a while. I thought you had a lot to offer.
Like Veremchuka says, many at Bogleheads are there to talk, not listen.
As the English say, you are spot on with that observation.
That is likely why I never go there. I got my fill of know-it-alls at work, and if I feel the need, I can always ask my female companion!
If she were truly a know-it-all, you wouldn't have to ask her.That is likely why I never go there. I got my fill of know-it-alls at work, and if I feel the need, I can always ask my female companion!
I like Bogleheads. I learned a lot about investing over there.
I don't contribute much to that forum at all, though. I'm not sure why - - maybe they are too serious for me. They never even mention bacon or dryer sheets.
Maybe we should launch an attack - bacon, dryer sheets, jokes, pictures of our pets, badgers, and what we did today. That'll teach 'em
And don't forget youtubes of great songs we remember. Then we'd probably post more over there. 
