Step-Grandparenthood

[Sheryl]

Well, I knew this was coming, but the announcement is official. SO is to be a grandfather, and I am to be a pseudo-step-grandma. At 46! Bleah.

Having never had kids of my own, I have mixed feelings. It will at least give me the chance to buy cute baby clothes and toys. We are far enough away not to be asked to baby-sit, which would be my biggest fear. SO is not so excited, mostly due to the fact that Mom-to-be is only 19.

I'm curious how grandparenthood has affected others, and did you end up wanting to be more involved than you had expected? I really don't see us as the doting grandparent types, but I guess you never know until it happens to you, eh?

 

[wabmester]

Interesting question. I'm not a grandparent, but in general kids don't do a thing for me unless there is some biological connection. I want my family genes to flourish, otherwise get that snotty drooling thing away from me!

 

[Patrick]

I'm curious how grandparenthood has affected others, and did you end up wanting to be more involved than you had expected?

Yes. Actually the step-grandchild has turned out to be a lot of fun. Can't say that for the stepchildren. And the best part is if she gets really bad, we can just send her back to mom and dad. It's like having our cake and eating it too.

 

[Outtahere]

Sheryl

You are in the same position I was when I married dh, instant grandmother but thankfully dh isn't charmed by the little ones and so the only exposure was at birthdays and holidays and an occasional visit. Now that they are older (tweens and teens) we enjoy their company and do much more with/for them.

Oh and we went through the "what do we call you" route, it was decided they would call me Carolyn as I refused to respond to anything even remotely sounding like gram

I enjoyed buying all the cute kiddie stuff too and they like us cuz we always give the coolest presents. It helped to go shopping with the mothers, it was a night out for them and gave me bonding time without the kids around.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

I am to be a pseudo-step-grandma. At 46! Bleah.

as i've become the family archivist since mom died, my cousin was coming over for lunch the other day to watch videos of our grandparents (in my cousin's words) "when they were our age". i said to her, "if you are coming over with that attitude, you're not getting lunch."

a childless kid at heart, this stuff freaks me out. the only times i become aware of how old i am is when my arthritis acts up or when i visit with my bechildened family & friends. and as much as i really enjoy my very cool 10-year-old nephew, i can't believe i'm 40 years older than this kid (yikes, that's two generations). the other day i asked my niece when she was born. she said 1993. i said, no way. no one was born in the 1990s. it just doesn't make any sense to me.

and in about a month i will be 20 years older than a 30 year old. twenty years older than the people i didn't used to trust. somebody shoot me.

 

[Zipper]

Mrs. Zipper and I have 3 grandchildren. The Princess is 5, and the boys are 2 and 1.

We had a great Xmas and our lives are forever enriched by 3 happy , healthy additions.

Being a grandparent is priceless!

 

[Sheryl]

Now that they are older (tweens and teens) we enjoy their company and do much more with/for them.

I actually think I'm better with the babies. I have no clue what to say to a kid. It's been so long since I was one. I dont even know what to say to the psuedo-daughter-in-law. She is 19 and still more or less a kid to me.

Oh and we went through the "what do we call you" route, it was decided they would call me Carolyn as I refused to respond to anything even remotely sounding like gram

Same here! They were teasing about it at the Christmas party, and I said, no way no how was I going to be called anything like Grandma.

I guess I am sort of hoping for some sort of good relationship with the kid, since I have none of my own, and only have two nephews that I'm pretty well eatranged from (partly by distance and partly by my brother's nasty divorce). Although I don't regret not having kids, I sometimes (especially around the holidays) feel sad about the lack of family connections.

the other day i asked my niece when she was born. she said 1993. i said, no way. no one was born in the 1990s. it just doesn't make any sense to me.

Yes, it is now actually possible to have a conversation with someone who was born in the 21st century. Yikes!!

I agree with Zipper, it sure would be fun to have kids around at Christmas. This time next year I will be looking at the credit card bill from Babys R US and wondering what have I done?

 

[Patrick]

I actually think I'm better with the babies. I have no clue what to say to a kid. It's been so long since I was one. I dont even know what to say to the psuedo-daughter-in-law. She is 19 and still more or less a kid to me.
Same here! They were teasing about it at the Christmas party, and I said, no way no how was I going to be called anything like Grandma.

My step-granddaughter calls me "Papa," so everytime we're out in public, people think I'm her dad.

 

[Martha]

a childless kid at heart, this stuff freaks me out. the only times i become aware of how old i am is when my arthritis acts up or when i visit with my bechildened family & friends. and as much as i really enjoy my very cool 10-year-old nephew, i can't believe i'm 40 years older than this kid (yikes, that's two generations). the other day i asked my niece when she was born. she said 1993. i said, no way. no one was born in the 1990s. it just doesn't make any sense to me.

and in about a month i will be 20 years older than a 30 year old. twenty years older than the people i didn't used to trust. somebody shoot me.

We are childless too and I have the same experience. We will see cousins with their grandkids and think: WTF? Who are these guys? And then you feel a little old.

I have a coworker who is a step grandmother. The grandchildren call her aunty gram, which sounds kinda nice.

 

[sailor]

SO is to be a grandfather, and I am to be a pseudo-step-grandma. At 46! Bleah.

Relax,
46 is nothing - we are teasing our neighbor (who is in his late thirties probably) he is dating grandmas.
He volunteers and teaches computer basics to inner city kids and sometimes two grandmas are showing up with their kids. One is 33 another is 36.

 

[Ginger]

We have two granddaughters! The love of our lives. Just love being with them and watching them giggle and play. Life at its best!

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Grandparenthood affected me more than I would have guessed (4 of 'em now, me at 57 and DW at 55). We are geographically far from our kids, so that plays a huge role, but we both love seeing them.

It is as much fun watching your kids as parents as it is watching the grandkids themselves.

A powerful motivator for semi-FIRE is having the time to see more of them.

 

[Sheryl]

Well, we will see how it works out in about seven months. I won't start buying cute baby clothes until I find out the gender.

I guess 46 isn't too bad for grandparent-hood. I worry more that this is all happening too fast. They just got married last March, only dated about a year before that. He's still an apprentice (at apprentice wages), she's going to quit a relatively good job at a bank, which she's been quite successful at, in order to have the baby. They are living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. What is the big HURRY?!?

I've whined about this before. Some young marriages last. I hope this will be one. Sigh.

 

[Patrick]

Well, we will see how it works out in about seven months. I won't start buying cute baby clothes until I find out the gender.

I guess 46 isn't too bad for grandparent-hood. I worry more that this is all happening too fast. They just got married last March, only dated about a year before that. He's still an apprentice (at apprentice wages), she's going to quit a relatively good job at a bank, which she's been quite successful at, in order to have the baby. They are living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. What is the big HURRY?!?

I've whined about this before. Some young marriages last. I hope this will be one. Sigh.

Start prepping the guest room!

 

[Sheryl]

Start prepping the guest room!

: I think the trick is going to be we don't HAVE a guest room.

 

[Shredder]

Just got back from 4 days visiting the step kids and step-grandkids. Had a great time. They moved back to MI from CA this year (06) so we will be seeing them more. Although they are not my blood, when a 4yr old boy wants to snuggle up to papa (me) to watch cartoons there is not a better feeling in the world. Or when a 7 yr old girl wants to show off her homework to papa. The parents are young and busy, we get to take time and share, give presents, enjoy the heck out of them, then leave. What more could you ask for?? Shredder

 

[Dreamer]

My sister became a grandmother at 40. She is 4 yrs and 4 mos older than me. Her first grandson is a few months older than my DD. I am now 53 and there are no grandchildren in the picture and not likely to be for awhile. I would be very happy to be a grandmother, but I only want to be a grandparent when my children are ready.

Now that I am retired, I am going to VA more often so that I can enjoy her youngest grandchildren. She had 5 children and now has 7 living grandchildren, 1 grandchild that is deceased and 1 grandchild on the way!

Hope everything works out for them and I hope that you enjoy the little one!