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Visitor Overload
Old 06-18-2017, 04:25 AM   #1
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Visitor Overload

After ER, and especially if you retired to a vacation-friendly area, visitors can be a little overwhelming. We just finished a marathon of 17 straight days of visitors. They ranged from age 6 months to 82 years old. An average daily load of 6 additional people at our house during this period. Twice, we had to do a quick turn of sheets and clean up, since the next group was coming.

Yesterday was my first day of peace and quiet. Felt good to gain back control of the house
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Old 06-18-2017, 04:53 AM   #2
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I can relate! We have realized over the years that a week is the max we like to have people stay with us. Five days is optimal - enough time to really spend quality time together, and we feel a little bummed when they leave. By the time someone is with us for a week, we're relieved when they leave. On the rare occasion when visitors rent their own car and do things on their own part of the time, the stay can be longer, but most of our visitors are with us 24/7 from the time we pick them up at the airport until we drop them off. Even though we love them, more than 7 days non-stop is just too much for us.
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Old 06-18-2017, 05:22 AM   #3
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I can relate! We have realized over the years that a week is the max we like to have people stay with us. Five days is optimal - enough time to really spend quality time together, and we feel a little bummed when they leave. By the time someone is with us for a week, we're relieved when they leave. On the rare occasion when visitors rent their own car and do things on their own part of the time, the stay can be longer, but most of our visitors are with us 24/7 from the time we pick them up at the airport until we drop them off. Even though we love them, more than 7 days non-stop is just too much for us.
Haha, yeah. When my Dad was leaving the next day, he decided it was safe to goad my wife about politics. He said he couldn't go the entire week without saying something. I told him that the next time he should only stay 4 days
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Old 06-18-2017, 05:46 AM   #4
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Having lived in "destination" areas on several occasions, I know this phenomenon well. Such a relief when they leave!

My favorite line came from an old boss at his retirement party. He went on and on about all the great things about where he was moving to retire and how fantastic it was. Then he said "I want you all to know that if you're ever going to be in the area, I really want you to call and tell us -- as soon as you've checked into your hotel."
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:00 AM   #5
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I live in Florida a couple of blocks from the ocean. We decided to live in a smaller 2 bedroom house. Problem solved. Limited the number of guests to 1.

Cheers!
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:15 AM   #6
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Having lived in "destination" areas on several occasions, I know this phenomenon well. Such a relief when they leave!

My favorite line came from an old boss at his retirement party. He went on and on about all the great things about where he was moving to retire and how fantastic it was. Then he said "I want you all to know that if you're ever going to be in the area, I really want you to call and tell us -- as soon as you've checked into your hotel."
I can relate to this. All our homes are in "destination" locations. We do enjoy guests from time to time, but insist on a "four night maximum" and then only if invited. Takes a couple days to rest up once they leave. We will often loan our places out when we are not there. Kind of "best of both worlds" in that we help someone out but don't have to go through the hassle of entertaining them. However, many of our friends and relatives say they would rather visit when we were there because we are so much fun and great hosts. Go figure.
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:22 AM   #7
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We have a place on Keuka Lake in NY State, and one reason we bought it was to be attractive to our kids and grandkids. It works. We have friends on a lake nearby and of course they have the same thing. So last night we got together with them for a boat ride and dinner on the lake, and as we said goodnight we also said, "see you in September", because by the time our visiting season and their visiting season is over, it will be September.
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:22 AM   #8
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many of our friends and relatives say they would rather visit when we were there because we are so much fun and great hosts such useful support staff.
Lots of ways of looking at it.
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:28 AM   #9
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Lots of ways of looking at it.
Probably right, 😅
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Old 06-18-2017, 07:18 AM   #10
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"Guests are like fish. After 3 days they start to stink." Ben Franklin
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Old 06-18-2017, 07:23 AM   #11
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"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days" Benjamin Franklin

Looks like this challenge is nothing new.....
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Old 06-18-2017, 07:38 AM   #12
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We have standing invitations to several good friends' homes. We hardly ever stay with them but when we have it's been at their continuing insistence and for no more than two nights. I hope they really wanted us but maybe not.
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Old 06-18-2017, 08:15 AM   #13
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We have the 3-day rule and only violate it for in-laws (not often) and really good friends. Many of those really good friends now come to the destination and rent their own places.

When people are angling for an invite, we offer a good selection of nearby B&Bs. In PV we even offer our car so they can explore the many destinations outside the city that we have seen enough.
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Old 06-18-2017, 08:23 AM   #14
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We have the 3-day rule and only violate it for in-laws (not often) and really good friends. Many of those really good friends now come to the destination and rent their own places.

When people are angling for an invite, we offer a good selection of nearby B&Bs. In PV we even offer our car so they can explore the many destinations outside the city that we have seen enough.
Agree you really have to stick to a x-day rule. Once we invited good friends down to Arizona for the normal 4 days. They wanted to stay fo a week but we wouldn't budge so they stayed in a hotel for the other 3 days. Was a little awkward but necessary. Next time they came down we invited them to arrive 4 days before we were scheduled to fly out. This way they could stay in the house after we left for the extra days.
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Old 06-18-2017, 09:53 AM   #15
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I like my family and friends but I'd rather stay in a hotel, motel or B&B.
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Old 06-18-2017, 10:01 AM   #16
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We're in the middle of visitor season here too. It's going to be 120 degrees in Phoenix this week, so we're providing a refuge from the heat. Then it's 4th of July, then Comic-Con, both of which always come with house guests.

I'm always glad to see these friends and family, and none of them abuse our hospitality or demand to be entertained, but I'm also glad when they've all gone home.
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Old 06-18-2017, 10:10 AM   #17
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I live in a resort area and have several friends who have been overwhelmed with summer visitors. All of them live in large homes with swimming pools. Their visitors are generally family members within one or two days' driving distance, but sometimes friends try to take advantage and announce "we're coming for a week/10 days". My friends are learning to say "no" gracefully.

I don't have this problem as my family members live too far away to be enticed by my small spare bedroom.
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Old 06-18-2017, 10:16 AM   #18
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When my mother in law decided to move "upstate" about 90 miles north of NYC, everyone was invited to stay for the first Christmas . We got there first, she has 5 bedrooms. I asked where everyone was going to sleep? I got the "we will work it out" answer. I told the bride lets find a dog friendly hotel/motel(we had our fur baby). I also had my mom with me. The bride said "no" as she felt we always accommodate everyone. When the rest of the gang showed up, i told the wife "look im not waiting to shower, or share a towel". A few phone calls later and we had 2 rooms at some half of welfare pet friendly motel. We only went late at night to sleep , shower. We had breakfast at a Denny's (steak and eggs). When we arrived after 1 pm everyone looked whipped, waiting to shower, and disgusted . I went on to brag(something i do when i feel the need), that im sure it was usually a short stay motel, but it was a quiet place with hot water clean bathrooms. The best $200 i ever spent. My mother said "no consider the rooms part of your Christmas gifts. Now when ever we go and there is going to be a gang, we found a more upscale hotel, no drama, and the visit is infinitely better.
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Old 06-18-2017, 11:40 AM   #19
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Following this with interest, we just bought a winter home in Arizona. My husband is knocking himself out inviting guests. He seems to also turn into a guest if we have company. He's even invited my girlfriends out for visits before we have furniture. I like the four day rule. A two day stay is even better.
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Old 06-18-2017, 11:58 AM   #20
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When my mother in law decided to move "upstate" about 90 miles north of NYC, everyone was invited to stay for the first Christmas . We got there first, she has 5 bedrooms. I asked where everyone was going to sleep? I got the "we will work it out" answer. I told the bride lets find a dog friendly hotel/motel(we had our fur baby). I also had my mom with me. The bride said "no" as she felt we always accommodate everyone. When the rest of the gang showed up, i told the wife "look im not waiting to shower, or share a towel". A few phone calls later and we had 2 rooms at some half of welfare pet friendly motel. We only went late at night to sleep , shower. We had breakfast at a Denny's (steak and eggs). When we arrived after 1 pm everyone looked whipped, waiting to shower, and disgusted . I went on to brag(something i do when i feel the need), that im sure it was usually a short stay motel, but it was a quiet place with hot water clean bathrooms. The best $200 i ever spent. My mother said "no consider the rooms part of your Christmas gifts. Now when ever we go and there is going to be a gang, we found a more upscale hotel, no drama, and the visit is infinitely better.
We had this happened on our last trip to U.K. We initially booked our own place because there were five of us so it was just too much to stay at anyone's house.
But his sister invited him to stay, he obliged and stayed 10 days before we went up to Scotland. Biggest mistake ever. The house was full of junk, small tiny stairs. It was not nice, not to our standards, and we could end up getting hurt with all the stuff SIL had in the house. Worst yet, we ended up fixing her bathroom because of mildew so we were out of a bathroom use for a day while waiting for the caulking to be done. Same thing with our stay at his best friend. He invited us, so we obliged to stay but the stairs were also steep. Every night, it was like comedy, we both hold hands and went to restroom together because the room we stayed at didn't have toilet on the same floor. Never again. We'd be glad to book our own accommodation. We felt a bit relief when we finally got to the hotel. So many things could have gone wrong and we could end up in a hospital.
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