You know you're retired when...

[RASAP]

You call your Life's Good t-shirt a dress shirt.

 

[Moemg]

You are able to read the whole series of Stephanie Plum books in two weeks .

 

[oldtrig]

You go to Walmart for exercise

 

[bbbamI]

You have a beer with your lunch and chortle at all the other diners that must refrain because they have to go back to work.

 

[donheff]

You call your Life's Good t-shirt a dress shirt.

Nah, my dress T has abstract graphics and a higher thread count.

 

[rescueme]

You no longer wear a watch nor remember what day of the week it is ...

 

[Walt34]

It's a strain to remember that if the newspaper comics are in color that means it's Sunday and you can't buy wine until after 1:00 PM.

 

[beowulf]

You decide not to do anything today and then tomorrow you pick up where you left off.

 

[CuppaJoe]

You’re at your home computer doing your own thing while glancing out the window to see your old fellow commuters hop on the bus. You have oatmeal at (what time is it?) 9:42 a.m. But wait, that’s what I did at work but started an hour later; it wasn’t my own ‘puter and was constantly interrupted by someone else’s idea of work. I get a kick out of paying myself a regular salary, now that’s something new. SO and I are headed out later today to try a new Afghani restaurant and see a play which is two for one on Thursday nights; I actually did that sometimes during the workweek but stopped when I was about 45; SO worked too late to go out on weeknights; definitely retired.

 

[Kroeran]

You have a beer with your lunch and chortle at all the other diners that must refrain because they have to go back to work.

I must be doing it wrong then...I have beer with lunch BECAUSE I have to go back to work ; - )

 

[bbbamI]

I must be doing it wrong then...I have beer with lunch BECAUSE I have to go back to work ; - )

It's fun either way....

 

[ls99]

No longer being in "essential" and "safety sensitive" position holder is truly a pleasure. No more random drug and alcohol tests with some dude you don't know watching you pee in a cup. Never had the luck of female observers.

Not having to show up at train/car/truck demolition derbies, trains always won. Watching mangled body parts extricated from under the trains.

No dealing with irate passengers and senior managers on a hot summer afternoon when sagged catenary tears of power collecting pantograph in the middle of a bridge. Stranding 600 or so passengers trying to get to the stadium.

Never again having to show up at w*rk in the worst da*n floods/ice/snowstorms. True pleasure in the winter just watching the snow plows go by and getting a refill for the coffee mug.

Best of all not having to deal with union shop rules. You can't appreciate that until you had to deal with it. The freedom from that is like having died and arrived in heaven.

 

[Nords]

You know you're retired when...

... your teenager has more W-2 income than you and your spouse combined...

 

[mickeyd]

You know you're retired when... you have time to actually quiz a telemarketer during the day about he got your very secret telephone number that you only gave to Warren Buffet and Heidi Fleiss.

 

[audreyh1]

You get depressed on Fridays because the campground is going to fill up, and you're really happy on Sundays, because so many folks are leaving!

Audrey

 

[freebird5825]

You run into former co_w*rkers (still there) of the same age and realize how much younger you look...

 

[BluesWannabe]

You can read the entire "what did you do today?" thread.

 

[ls99]

Yuo KNOW you're retired:

When the following conversation takes place, like with DW and I this morning:

DW: it is Friday, right?
Me: I think so, I did get the town paper yesterday, it usually is published Thursdays.
DW: you sure?
Me: yeah, I got it in the diner after breakfast, and I only go for breakfast after working out at the Y on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
DW: Ok then, it must be Friday. I go swimming on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Me: well then go swimming.
DW: what time is it?
Me: hold on I need to find my glasses, can't see the clock without them.
DW: I think you left them on the counter.
Me: Yeah that's where I usually leave them

And so on for a while.

So is it really Friday?

Just kidding, have wall clock tied to WWVB National Bureau of Standards, (now I think called NIST, whatever it stands for) radio station, transmitting precise time and date information 24/7. When all else fails, I look at that to find out what day it is. It spells out the day, fortunately.

Now where did the morning go?

 

[Bestwifeever]

You only have one deadline you care about, the one the "Boss" above set a long time ago for you.

 

[Goonie]

You know you're retired when....

Someone asks you what time it is, and you respond, "Well, it's light out...must be daytime."

'Cause I rarely know what time it is...and I care even less!!!

And I NEVER no what day it is....'cept on Wednesday. When I look outside and see the neighbor's trash cans by the curb, I then realize I better hustle to do the same...because Wednesday is garbage day!!!

 

[Notmuchlonger]

You don't go to the store on weekends to avoid the crowds..

 

[Goonie]

You don't go to the store on weekends to avoid the crowds..

+1

 

[Khan]

You know you're retired when....

Someone asks you what time it is, and you respond, "Well, it's light out...must be daytime."

'Cause I rarely know what time it is...and I care even less!!!

And I NEVER no what day it is....'cept on Wednesday. When I look outside and see the neighbor's trash cans by the curb, I then realize I better hustle to do the same...because Wednesday is garbage day!!!

Same here. Look out the front door and see neighbors' stuff and realize it's Monday and need to take trash and recycles to the curb.