Growing Older

[Jay_Gatsby]

For all the young dreamers out there, have any of you noticed how your life has changed over the years? Mine seems to have accelerated over the past year and a half, with a couple of job changes (into a pretty great gig), significant growth in my savings/portfolio, getting engaged, friends getting married/having kids, etc... To a certain extent, I feel less and less like a young "dreamer" and more like a "mid-30s doer".

[elroy]

Sounds like your in a good patch. Do everything you can to stay there. Me - lately my outlook fluctuates too much but some days / weeks I feel like you do. I try to stay focused on things I can control and not worry too much about all the noise and fuss around me.

Elroy

[razztazz]

I forget who said it, but somebody said Plans are just Dreams with deadlines

Oh, God, I hope it wasn't Woody Allen

[farmerEd]

Diana Scharf Hunt:

“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”

[Cool Dood]

Gatsby,

Congratulations, that sounds great! I can see the outline of similar events myself, but I think I'm still at the beginning or slightly before the beginning of the phase you describe.

Still, it's exciting, and it inspires confidence to hear you describe it!

[Jay_Gatsby]

While I'm relatively pleased with how things are going, I'm concerned about the acceleration factor. Life is passing so quickly that I barely get a chance to savor the various experiences it offers. If things keep accelerating, I'll wake up tomorrow with a couple of kids, a big house, two late-model cars, etc... Having just returned from Italy, I really enjoyed traveling and seeing the world, so the idea of strapping myself down with the kids and 4-bedroom house in the suburbs doesn't necessarily appeal to me just yet. As many on this board can attest, the slippery slope towards such things starts when you get engaged, sometimes even earlier.

[Nords]

Originally Posted by Jay_Gatsby

For all the young dreamers out there, have any of you noticed how your life has changed over the years?

Hey, it happens for the ERs, too. Seems like January was yesterday.

[brewer12345]

Originally Posted by Jay_Gatsby

While I'm relatively pleased with how things are going, I'm concerned about the acceleration factor.* Life is passing so quickly that I barely get a chance to savor the various experiences it offers.* If things keep accelerating, I'll wake up tomorrow with a couple of kids, a big house, two late-model cars, etc...*

Hell, that's already happened to me.

[youbet]

Originally Posted by Jay_Gatsby

I'll wake up tomorrow

Proof you're not an "old guy." Old guys don't make this assumption!

[rs0460a]

Originally Posted by Jay_Gatsby

a big house, two late-model cars, etc...* Having just returned from Italy, I really enjoyed traveling and seeing the world, so the idea of strapping myself down with the kids and 4-bedroom house in the suburbs doesn't necessarily appeal to me just yet.*

Actually did not get to travel globally (e.g. vacation, not work) until I had all the things you state.* Just goes to prove that some "slopes" do go up...*

- Ron

[Nords]

Originally Posted by rs0460a

Actually did not get to travel globally (e.g. vacation, not work) until I had all the things you state.

It depends on which recruiter career you choose...

[Cool Dood]

In large part it depends on one's desires. To me, a family and a big house and all that is a goal, not a sign that I'm past my prime, so I'll enjoy that; but it's not say that I won't enjoy the current time, either, or that you won't enjoy stages of life that look scary now -- if you even experience them, it's not as though there's only one set path through life and you can't make decisions to change it according to your desires and aspirations...

Some of my friends are married but never planning on having kids, others are getting into their 30's but not married, choosing instead to develop their careers or personal lives, and yet some of them will have kids, so it's not even a question of how soon or how late things happen, or in what order, it's really a completely open choice that one should make to suit himself, and not worry to death over.

[rs0460a]

Originally Posted by Nords

It depends on which recruiter career you choose...

In my case, nope!* Been working in the same building / department (not job!) for the last 28 years.* As other organizations, ours has been "under new management" by four different "owners", 2 U.S. 2 Foreign (both Euro based).

I haven't really changed, but my "corporate culture" certainly has...* 8)

- Ron

[Lusitan]

Heck yeah. It's been 9 years since I came out of undergrad and probably about 5 years since I started thinking about FI. Time seems to go by more quickly with each passing year, and according to my father that will continue! A message board about "retirement" is pretty much the only place left where I think I can reasonably fit into the "young" category of anything anymore!

I can't do anything about the perception of time passing, but I can do something about the "stuff" I accumulate in my life.

I'm 31 and I've got a wife, but no big house (we have a very small house), no late model cars (we're driving one 10 year old Toyota), and no kids yet (although it won't be long). So you can go down the marriage road without picking up all those things right away!

Being on the same page as your spouse about FI is super critical in my opinion. It takes determination to go against the grain of the high spending and high consumption lifestyles all around us, and I can't imagine doing it if my wife wasn't on board - it'd be hard to avoid the slippery slope if my spouse was pulling me downhill!

We don't hesitate to spend on things we value though. We love to travel we've done a few off-the-wall things that are important to us, like buying a small old house in Portugal (where my wife is from) and working on fixing it up over the years - we plan to live there when we hit FIRE. Having that physical reminder of dreams that took shape years ago has helped keep us grounded and focused, and avoid the slippery slope of consumption.

Glad to hear things are going well for you - keep saving, keep your dreams alive (whatever they may be) and be open-minded about adding a few new dreams in there. And see if you can make your upcoming marriage, among other things, a partnership toward FIRE rather than an obstacle to it.