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Old 10-23-2010, 03:54 PM   #21
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My first reaction was....sheesh...if you can't brag a little about your accomplishments to your own Mother, what is the world coming to? Don't beat yourself up.
But I also don't think it was fair for Mother to use the "if you can't tell your own Mother" line when Andre was obviously trying to get away from the subject. Why should Mother even want to know? I think net worth falls into don't-ask-don't-tell territory.

Anyway, best thing you can do is forget about it.

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Old 10-23-2010, 05:56 PM   #22
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I wish my parents were alive to ask but they wouldn't even if they could. The in-laws have never asked nor do I think they ever will. They are financially comfortable and I think they can see that we're okay. We'd never tell DW's siblings as neither is responsible on their own. I've never told my siblings and probably never will although out of five all but one are doing well themselves.
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Old 10-23-2010, 05:57 PM   #23
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But I also have a neighbour who rents and live on the dole. He enjoyed the high life (big house, Cadillac, yacht) until he went bankrupt. Now he is literally hand-to-mouth. Yet he pays $2850/mo in rent, smokes, goes through a case of beer a day, has 2 phone lines for each of him and his wife (one landline and one cell). He just turned 80! His retirement plan is to purchase a lottery ticket each week.
So where is this particular dole available? How is the climate there?

ha
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:42 PM   #24
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I told my mother how much I had after she kept on trying to pick up a check but I know she's forgotten because she always tries to lend me money which is a joke since she lives on SS & a tiny pension .
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Old 10-23-2010, 08:53 PM   #25
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That is mother love. She wants to to be sure her baby is fine. I think it is very sweet.

It could be very different. My older boy's first wife's mother started within 6 months of their marriage to try to hit them up for various good sized sums- to buy a house, to start a business (a cattery!) Even his grandmother-in-law got in on the act. I think this played a part in him showing the door to this mistake-in-heels pretty early in the marriage.

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Old 10-24-2010, 04:29 AM   #26
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Same here.

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I have never shared my net worth with anyone.
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Old 10-24-2010, 06:17 AM   #27
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I really do think my mother's intentions were good, that she really wanted to know, just out of concern that I'm okay. I really don't put out the image of being all that successful. I live in house with only one bathroom. I still have roommates...which can be a pain sometimes with only one bathroom! When my 10 year old Dodge got totaled last year, I replaced it with a 10 year old Buick.

But, you know the old saying...money changes people. I probably don't have anything to worry about, but you never know. And not just the money, but, if I were to bail on the workforce at 46, like my current plan, I can see her trying to find things for me to do with all of that "free time" I suddenly have. She's been bugging me for years to go down with her and my stepdad to their place in Florida. But my idea of fun is NOT spending an entire week 1000 miles from home with two people who still try to treat a 40 year old like a kid!
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Old 10-24-2010, 06:30 AM   #28
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My first reaction was....sheesh...if you can't brag a little about your accomplishments to your own Mother, what is the world coming to?
I remember when I told my mother. It seems like it was only a few days later that my sister called asking for money.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:57 PM   #29
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So where is this particular dole available? How is the climate there?

ha
It is in BC where the temp seldom drops below freezing nor above 82. Sadly the means test you must pass to become a resident would preclude you from qualifying.
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Old 10-24-2010, 02:24 PM   #30
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Ha, you seem so shocked - you do know this is not the same thing as a cat house?

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Tto start a business (a cattery!)

Ha
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:29 PM   #31
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I'm surprised so many here haven't told a soul about their NW or plans for ER. I talk about it with my closest friend (we discuss salary and savings). I confided to a coworker..

I'll probably tell my father because we're alot alike. We're both frugal however he liked working and only stopped when he was layed off at 60. Financially he could have stopped earlier but the idea never occured to him.

I downplay my salary and savings most of my other family and friends. Most think I'm "rich" because I have a good job but I don't want them to come looking for loans. They have no idea how much I'm stashing away.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:15 PM   #32
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I'm surprised so many here haven't told a soul about their NW or plans for ER. I talk about it with my closest friend (we discuss salary and savings). I confided to a coworker..

I'll probably tell my father because we're alot alike. We're both frugal however he liked working and only stopped when he was layed off at 60. Financially he could have stopped earlier but the idea never occured to him.

I downplay my salary and savings most of my other family and friends. Most think I'm "rich" because I have a good job but I don't want them to come looking for loans. They have no idea how much I'm stashing away.
You admitted yourself that you don't share your NW with most of your family and friends like most of the people here on the boards. I think we just see habits and attitudes towards spending and saving of other people and you know that you better skip a discussion of finances with them.

I also try to stay in a don't-ask-don't-tell territory with my own family. Well, my family and probably my friends think I'm rich just because I live in America (I'm from the East Europe originally) and that notion of seeing glamorous life in the Hollywood movies never fades in their minds. When I told them that my DH still drives a 1997 Corolla in September while visiting them, they got quiet for a bit, but then said "but cars are cheap in America as compared to salaries there"....meaning what's the problem with us, we must be earning good money. I cannot complain, but I rather not tell them the truth.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:30 AM   #33
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ER is a different frame of mind. My 70+ year old Father-in-Law did not plan anything for his retirement and with no SS in India his sons have been supporting (complete household & medical expenses) him & his second wife & teenage son (+ his education) for almost 15 years and will have to continue to do that. He still thinks that we are too stingy and money-minded because we are not gifting them Gold jewelery and vacations. He totally expects his son to work till 60-65 years of age even though he sees how stressful the Mega-corp job is (60-70 hour weeks many times). He would probably guess our NW to be 1/5th to 1/10th of what it actually is. Are we going to declare it - never.

Most people do not understand why I'm staying at home to care & support my family instead of making money so are they going to understand why somebody barely 40 wants to get rid of his job - never. You can always make more money and collect more stuff ...there is no end to that.

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Old 11-13-2010, 06:05 AM   #34
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Just came across this thread and can really relate! I sometimes wonder how I turned out so different than my siblings. My oldest sister had good jobs (similair to my situation) but never made good decisions about money and married a guy who has never held a job as far as I know. She cashed in her small 401K and loaned it to her daughter 5 years ago, now she lives on SS only. My youngest sister had 3 kids with 3 different fathers, finally married a guy who turned out to be a meth head. Both my sisters have filed bankruptcy in the past. And my two brothers lived at home with my parents until mom died a few years ago. She left them everything she had left - a house (paid for) and about $200,000. Today, between the two of them, they can't come up with enough money to pay the taxes on the house and are 3 years behind!
I saw my parents support my brothers for their entire lives and loan my sisters huge amounts of money that they never paid back. In fact, the reason my parents didn't leave me anything was because they believed I didn't need their help.
We are the epitimy of disfunctional and I would not share my NW or financial situation with any of them for obvious reasons.
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Old 11-13-2010, 02:57 PM   #35
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...In fact, the reason my parents didn't leave me anything was because they believed I didn't need their help...
Maybe you were adopted? How else can you explain the genetics?
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