Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-01-2009, 05:03 PM   #21
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 283
Wow GoodSense, I've definitely been feeling a lot of the same things recently, as has hubby. We both decided over the last year to try to start spending more of our money instead of hoarding it - watching it disappear as we invested more and more made us realize that we should at least enjoy *some* of it.
I'm very much a planner by nature, I like to plan things, research things, collect information. I've found that I spend way too much time in the planning phase and not enough time in the "enjoying" phase.
One thing I try to do is take more pictures while I'm at a party or on vacation. It's much easier for me to mentally go back to that time if I have a photo of it, and it lets me enjoy something for a lot longer than I normally would.
Maybe you should think about what you want to do when you retire. Then see what you can work into your life now. Want to do a lot of travel? Start learning some languages. I'm started doing some woodcarving, which I intend to spend a lot more time on once I'm retired, but I took a drawing class recently which will help with my carving in the future.
I also really like Kronk's idea of taking days off more often. Just call it a retirement practice day.
__________________

__________________
meekie is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-01-2009, 05:10 PM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,769
I have wasted a lot of time over the course of my life worrying about things that never happened or that I had no control over. I don't do this anymore. I try to enjoy the good things in each day, control the variables that I have some ability to control, and leave the rest to fate. Maybe you have to be on the downward slope in life feel this way, after you have been batted around a bit.
__________________

__________________
WhoDaresWins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2009, 05:35 PM   #23
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Midpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 11,977
Who doesn't wrestle with this. To me, balancing "now" and my "future" has always been one of life's great ongoing questions/decisions.

To paraphrase others, life is a journey, not a destination. May not work for you but I started a simple spreadsheet about 26 years ago named LIFEGOAL that has the dates of all the milestones in my life. It also has all my major goals all along the way, professional, personal, financial or otherwise. I have always been motivated by goals and I recognized that early on. It is rewarding to always have goals realized, goals within reach and longer term goals to work towards. They change each year, but there are always those past, present and future goals and continual progress.

Many days work is a grind for most of us unfortunately. But when it's really tough I remind myself that it's what enables some of my goals - and I won't have to do it forever. When it becomes unbearable, I will move on to something else, depending on my FI status. FWIW...
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
Midpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2009, 07:19 PM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,018
GS, if you haven't read it, read Stephen Covey's "The seven habits of highly effective people" and focus on habit 7, "sharpen the saw". Everyone needs to step back on a regular basis to reflect, enjoy and put things in perspective. You will just burn out if you don't.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2009, 07:24 PM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Midpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 11,977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Retirement is nice but it is not the end all that you are imagining it to be . There are so many other things to do especially at your age . Explore the world , go white water rafting ,hike , dance till dawn and enjoy life now !
There's a pearl, thanks. Too often people think retirement is nirvana by definition. If you've been unhappy prior to retirement, it seems unlikely you'll automatically be happy in retirement. [I've had too much wine this evening, just in case I regret this post manana].
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
Midpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2009, 07:38 PM   #26
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
There's a pearl, thanks. Too often people think retirement is nirvana by definition. If you've been unhappy prior to retirement, it seems unlikely you'll automatically be happy in retirement. [I've had too much wine this evening, just in case I regret this post manana].
Oh, not so fast. I am living proof of misery turning to happiness in the blink of a resignation letter sent by email from home on a scheduled day off. It all happened at the speed of light. Whoooooooossssssshhhhhh

PS Enjoy your buzz , take 2 aspirin with lots of water and call me in the morning.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 03:40 AM   #27
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 40
Interesting post, I'm 30 y/o as well with a 95th percentile job with ER somewhere on my horizon. My struggle is that I'm always thinking twice (okay maybe three or four times) before spending money and I just have a hard time spending in the now... thinking that it may be more useful later. I use it as a mental security blanket, which can be quite inhibiting. It feels like no amount of money in the bank can really make me happy. I know money does not equal happiness. But dang, sometimes having an excess is just more stressful than living with much much less.

I have TRIED to value experiences (travel, vacations, hiking, outings with friends/family) and spend accordingly versus buying CRAP/STUFF and it has served me well for the most part. But still, its always eating at me. I appreciate all the responses in this thread. I'm always cycling this stuff in my head....
__________________
pasadenaDC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 07:19 AM   #28
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
simple girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,505
GS, I have been battling this off and on for quite a while now myself. It seems when we change things up a bit, it helps me for a while. For example, changing jobs, or moving, or as others have said, trying a new hobby. Still, I struggle with this issue, especially when we come back from vacation.
__________________
simple girl
less stuff, more time

(49, married; DH 53. I am fully retired as of 2015 (well ok, I still work part-time but only because I love the job and have complete freedom to call off if I want to travel with hubby for work), DH hopes to fully retire 2018 when he turns 55 to access 401K penalty-free...although he may decide to do part-time consulting)
simple girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 07:20 AM   #29
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by pasadenaDC View Post
Interesting post, I'm 30 y/o as well with a 95th percentile job with ER somewhere on my horizon. My struggle is that I'm always thinking twice (okay maybe three or four times) before spending money and I just have a hard time spending in the now... thinking that it may be more useful later. I use it as a mental security blanket, which can be quite inhibiting. It feels like no amount of money in the bank can really make me happy. I know money does not equal happiness. But dang, sometimes having an excess is just more stressful than living with much much less.

I have TRIED to value experiences (travel, vacations, hiking, outings with friends/family) and spend accordingly versus buying CRAP/STUFF and it has served me well for the most part. But still, its always eating at me. I appreciate all the responses in this thread. I'm always cycling this stuff in my head....
Your post reminds me so much of my big brother. He was in the same position at your age, and not spending much. He was the family miser and when he was a kid, his favorite cartoon character was Scrooge McDuck.

Anyway, he retired at around 50 (49? maybe), and then once his future income was assured, he was able to start spending more. He has enough that despite withdrawals, I suspect that his portfolio is growing in the long term. He lives in St. Louis but bought a second home on Maui, and has been doing a lot of international travel every year. Unlike me, he has the travel bug. He bought a new Corvette at the beginning of ER but realized that he was really happier driving an old truck, so he got one and left the Corvette in the garage except for an occasional outing. He still drives a truck but buys whatever appeals to him. He has plenty of STUFF now, as well as experiences, and he is most definitely living the good life and enjoying it.

I guess that what I am saying is that *if* you survive to ER, you may find that spending doesn't bother you as much and that you were glad that you did it your way. Life is a gamble.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 08:07 AM   #30
Full time employment: Posting here.
hankster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 645
DW and I made a decision a few years ago to generously fund a budget category for travel. We realize that this will take some money that could make our nest egg grow faster and possibly move ER up a year or two. But we're both alive and in good health. We hiked several miles at the Grand Canyon in June. Who knows if we'll be healthy enough to do that in 8 years? Her mother passed away at age 61.

We'll continue to seek that balance between saving for a more prosperous retirement while enjoying our traveling in these years of good health. I'm fortunate to have a lot of vacation time and she can take unpaid leave with sufficient notice.
__________________
"There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means." Calvin Coolidge
hankster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 09:22 AM   #31
Full time employment: Posting here.
GoodSense's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 678
Sorry I wasn't able to respond until now. It was a busy day at w*rk with out-of-town staff from the headquarters. Always a bit more chaotic when that happens...

It was great to read all the responses! Sounds like it's a common sentiment around here. Like some, I am also a planner and want to map things out, even if things don't go my way. I love do a ton of vacation planning. I think it's the same issue with life -- I want to control how it goes. Even though that is a good thing, most of the time, it can be stifling.

I do have a lot of hobbies: singing, painting, easy hiking. My biggest bug is travel. I love traveling, both domestically and internationally. A part of the problem is that I always travel on a small budget, and stay in youth hostels where everyone else is traveling for 3 month to a year at a time. I met some people in Costa Rica in April and they are still traveling down south, in Bolivia now. It's more the comparison that makes me feel that my life is "on hold," like Kronk said. It's my version of "keeping up with the Joneses" but with a regular job, I am of course unable to keep up. Maybe I need to start hanging out with different people.

I like the idea of taking extra time off. Weekends are OK, but they are usually fairly busy with mandatory chores. Maybe I need to designate time to just enjoy it without trying to check things off my list.

I have thought about changing jobs, and may pursue it in the next year or so. I have come to realize that there is dysfunction in all jobs, and no job will make me completely happy. But a new job will at least offer some novelty for a few years.

A couple of posts mentioned kids. That certainly makes one a lot more aware of time passing. Right now I don't feel that different than when I was 10 years ago. I guess with children you naturally think about their growing bigger, your growing older, and the need to carpe diem.

A part of me also wonders if my life is too good, that I am taking it for granted. It's hard to just change one's attitude without the environment changing, though. I find that after I travel to a developing country, I always feel very grateful for what I have. But the euphoria fades away quickly as I am getting to my daily grind of w*rk.

Anyway thanks a ton for the food for thought!
__________________
GoodSense is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 10:42 PM   #32
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
BunsGettingFirm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,502
Good thread. I was in that mode for a while too in my early 30s. Thank goodness to the backward sliding portfolio that I realized that I really need to have some fun now. Money is just money. Don't blow it all, but don't hoard it all. Rolling around in a mattress full of money just give you paper cuts in places you don't want to have paper cuts.
__________________
BunsGettingFirm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2009, 11:46 PM   #33
Recycles dryer sheets
Mill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Akron
Posts: 129
I also get caught up in the spend it now or save it for later debate with myself. I think it all boils down to doing whatever gives you the most satisfaction/security with your money. Personally, I like to save and invest and watch my money grow. Its fun to me, and it gives me more pleasure than buying stuff. A Live-above-your-means type would think this is a miserly; boring way to live, but your life is yours, and it is what you make it. As others have mentioned, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so live your life the way you want to, and if it involves spending money, or taking an extra vacation, then so be it.

I value my free time, so I take 6 or 7 weeks vacation a year. I only get 2 paid weeks, and the 5 unpaid weeks a year; times 20-25? years will undoubtedly delay FIRE. I think how much more ahead I could be, but youve got to live your life with some balance.

good thread.
__________________
Mill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2009, 03:42 PM   #34
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodSense View Post
A part of the problem is that I always travel on a small budget, and stay in youth hostels where everyone else is traveling for 3 month to a year at a time. I met some people in Costa Rica in April and they are still traveling down south, in Bolivia now. It's more the comparison that makes me feel that my life is "on hold," like Kronk said. It's my version of "keeping up with the Joneses" but with a regular job, I am of course unable to keep up. Maybe I need to start hanging out with different people.
I seem to just run into the people who are taking the bare minimum amount of time off and doing way too much. Just think about all the people who are doing less travel than you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodSense View Post
I like the idea of taking extra time off. Weekends are OK, but they are usually fairly busy with mandatory chores. Maybe I need to designate time to just enjoy it without trying to check things off my list.
One of the best spending ideas we added a few years ago was a regular housekeeper every two weeks. Paying for that and a gardener is so worth it to enjoy my free time more. I'm trying to pay people more than doing things around the house, and trying to value my time more than my money.
__________________
meekie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2009, 06:33 PM   #35
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,049
Set a goal, find out how much you need to save, put the savings on auto-draft, and spend the rest.

In theory, anyway.
__________________
eridanus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2009, 11:46 PM   #36
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2retire View Post
Your post reminds me so much of my big brother. He was in the same position at your age, and not spending much. He was the family miser and when he was a kid, his favorite cartoon character was Scrooge McDuck.

Anyway, he retired at around 50 (49? maybe), and then once his future income was assured, he was able to start spending more. He has enough that despite withdrawals, I suspect that his portfolio is growing in the long term. He lives in St. Louis but bought a second home on Maui, and has been doing a lot of international travel every year. Unlike me, he has the travel bug. He bought a new Corvette at the beginning of ER but realized that he was really happier driving an old truck, so he got one and left the Corvette in the garage except for an occasional outing. He still drives a truck but buys whatever appeals to him. He has plenty of STUFF now, as well as experiences, and he is most definitely living the good life and enjoying it.

I guess that what I am saying is that *if* you survive to ER, you may find that spending doesn't bother you as much and that you were glad that you did it your way. Life is a gamble.
Thanks for this MSR. Funny, I am called a miser by my parents and sister. The same parents which I've freely given over 10K the last few years and the same sister which was given 10K to finance her 'dream wedding' Yet they know I have XX dollars in the bank and it boggles their mind that I could save that much.

To be honest, I've stopped telling even close family of my savings 'number' because they look to me as a bank. For example, my mom suggested I loan her 3-4K for new windows on her house which she would pay back when she sells her house in a few years. Ahuh. Mind you my dad makes more than I do yet they don't have it in their mind to just save up for it.

I tolerate this type of talk and at the end of the day love my family unconditionally. Didn't mean to turn this into a vent, but yeah, it stinks sometimes to be fiscally responsible yet teased for it at the same time. Perhaps being a grumpy young man is in my future?
__________________
pasadenaDC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2009, 08:53 AM   #37
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by pasadenaDC View Post
Thanks for this MSR. Funny, I am called a miser by my parents and sister. The same parents which I've freely given over 10K the last few years and the same sister which was given 10K to finance her 'dream wedding' Yet they know I have XX dollars in the bank and it boggles their mind that I could save that much.

To be honest, I've stopped telling even close family of my savings 'number' because they look to me as a bank. For example, my mom suggested I loan her 3-4K for new windows on her house which she would pay back when she sells her house in a few years. Ahuh. Mind you my dad makes more than I do yet they don't have it in their mind to just save up for it.

I tolerate this type of talk and at the end of the day love my family unconditionally. Didn't mean to turn this into a vent, but yeah, it stinks sometimes to be fiscally responsible yet teased for it at the same time. Perhaps being a grumpy young man is in my future?
That truly does stink! It is such a shame that you were teased about it, and that your family actually borrowed money from you. George was our family "miser", yes, but that was considered to be admirable in my (Scottish) family, just as my other brother's creative genius was considered to be his most admirable quality. Nobody in our family has ever asked George for money or accepted even one cent from him, despite the fact that he is quite wealthy now.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2009, 07:35 PM   #38
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by pasadenaDC View Post
...I have XX dollars in the bank and it boggles their mind that I could save that much.
To be honest, I've stopped telling even close family of my savings 'number' because they look to me as a bank.
...but yeah, it stinks sometimes to be fiscally responsible yet teased for it at the same time. Perhaps being a grumpy young man is in my future?
Psssssssttttttt...and do trust me about this one.

Repeat these 3 magic words, 3x on a full moon night.
"It's all invested"
"It's all invested"
"It's all invested"

Or, just practice in front of a mirror to get it right.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2009, 08:51 PM   #39
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by freebird5825 View Post
Psssssssttttttt...and do trust me about this one.

Repeat these 3 magic words, 3x on a full moon night.
"It's all invested"
"It's all invested"
"It's all invested"

Or, just practice in front of a mirror to get it right.
Sounds good! Thanks for the responses FB5825 and W2R, and for the record..outside of the loan requests my parents do always tell me that they are proud of me and usually gush about me to their friends (esp. if they have young single daughters lol)

I didn't mean to hijack this thread but yeah... the perspective/insight from those with more life experience than me is ALWAYS appreciated. Thanks again guys.
__________________
pasadenaDC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2009, 12:07 AM   #40
Full time employment: Posting here.
GoodSense's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 678
PasadenaDC, I am surprised your family share with each other how much you have in the bank. No one in my family is expected to share that. It's interesting to hear how different families operate differently.
__________________

__________________
GoodSense is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Ah Ha moment! Just happened. newguy88 Other topics 10 04-06-2008 04:46 PM
A moment of silence please... cute fuzzy bunny Other topics 8 02-19-2007 09:29 AM
A Senior Moment frayne Other topics 1 01-26-2007 10:11 AM
Just a nice moment Rich_by_the_Bay Other topics 8 09-26-2006 10:45 AM
Senior moment? Or... REWahoo Other topics 10 06-27-2006 01:24 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:50 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.