Peer's achievements casting doubt on my ER

[JoeWras]

Since some are revealing insecurities in this thread, this is exactly why I'm taking a mental health break from Facebook. I like the real humans I know, including myself, better than the Facebook Humans, whose posts are too often idealized, again including myself. I think I'll let my experiment run, oh, through about "early November". If I'm happier, I might even deactivate my account. And I ain't going near Twitter! That's like a loaded gun.

Yep. It wasn't facebook that got me, it was LinkedIn.

Taking a break from all of them.

 

[JoeWras]

I ran into that envy years ago. My answer was that I was dissatisfied. I continued work, but started coursework to a degree in CS.

I retired in August. In September I started back to school. Economics is fascinating to me, so I jumped in, taking the macro and micro and a general art course. Had a blast but fulfilled my want for more, at least in those subjects. Music theory may jump in next, but that's another subject. (groan)

One professor mentioned several times that I was leading his ideal of the perfect life, taking what I want, when I want, not even having to care about grades. I have to agree. The trade off was that I had to meet a schedule. Right now, that would cut into what will be peak kayak time.

I had fellow students in college who were doing this. They were a pain because they were so happy learning.

Anyway, I think I'm back on track and thank you everyone for the discussion. I think my plan is still in place for my retirement brain exercise.

What fascinates me is TAXES. I may be crazy, but I'm probably going to play around on my own with getting an EA certification. Just. For. Fun.

 

[FUEGO]

FYI for the education is fun folks. Coursera and Khan Academy. Duolingo if you're into foreign languages. There are even apps for all that. See you in a few years when you're done exploring.

My problem is getting distracted or too busy to finish a course. I've only done one course to completion (Yale Financial Markets course taught by Robert Schiller - the Case-Schiller Index nobel laureate Schiller). Otherwise I've started a dozen courses and completed 1-50% before drifting away. Evolutionary biology, Thomas Jefferson, Malicious Software and its Underground Economy, Cryptography, Understanding Einstein: The Special Theory of Relativity, various programming languages/systems (HTML, CSS, Python, Java, Android), Russian, German, French, Spanish, etc.

 

[NW-Bound]

The OP wrote: "Peer's achievements casting doubt on my ER".

I think he needs new peers.

 

[LOL!]

I'm chucklng because many of my friends have Nobel Prizes, but the thought never crossed my mind to be jealous nor envious of them.

 

[JoeWras]

I'm chucklng because many of my friends have Nobel Prizes, but the thought never crossed my mind to be jealous nor envious of them.

LOL! Wow! We are 1 degree away from Nobel winners?

Now I'm jealous of you!

NW-Bound: after OMY, I'm about to get a few.

 

[traineeinvestor]

The only thing that matters is to do what you want to do.

If you want to go to school and learn new tricks to do what that is, then do it.

+1

This is me - FIREd so I could do an MFA and write a novel. Now I'm about to start a PhD. I have no plans to do anything with it - I just enjoy the journey.

 

[LOL!]

Now I'm about to start a PhD. I have no plans to do anything with it - I just enjoy the journey.

That's interesting to me since any advisor/university granting the degree worth their salt would be putting a lot of work into their graduate student, but would get nothing out of it. In other words, why accept a student for a PhD who is going to do nothing with it?

 

[Markola]

That's interesting to me since any advisor/university granting the degree worth their salt would be putting a lot of work into their graduate student, but would get nothing out of it. In other words, why accept a student for a PhD who is going to do nothing with it?

The flip side of the modern "students are customers" thinking on campuses? "What, my tuition money isn't as good as some 24 year-old's?". Of course, if scarce graduate fellowships are to be awarded to support the grad student, that's a little different.

 

[Markola]

Yep. It wasn't facebook that got me, it was LinkedIn.

Taking a break from all of them.

LinkedIn? What happened, pray tell? I am only on that one so that head hunters can find me.

 

[AllDone]

I sometimes think about going back to school for another degree or doing a fellowship and going back to work, but then I take a nap until the urge passes.

I do take interesting classes though since going to school has always been my best skill.

 

[traineeinvestor]

That's interesting to me since any advisor/university granting the degree worth their salt would be putting a lot of work into their graduate student, but would get nothing out of it. In other words, why accept a student for a PhD who is going to do nothing with it?

Well, they get fees (I'm self funding because the funding options all have inconvenient conditions attached which would outweigh the financial cost) and they get free labour as all PhD students at this university have to teach a couple of hours a week.

 

[shortstop14]

I've found I enjoy just auditing classes of interest - because the idea of jumping through the hoops of assignments and tests just didn't appeal to me at all. Going to lectures and doing the reading is interesting, but I'm not going to waste any of my energy in proving that I've learned something to anyone. I'd considered an environmental law degree so that I would have the credentials to participate in the field, but just don't have the tolerance for wasting my effort in being evaluated. Maybe that's petty, but that's where I draw my line.

 

[athena53]

In other words, why accept a student for a PhD who is going to do nothing with it?

Given the number of Ph.Ds they grant in the liberal arts, where the only thing you can do is fight for the limited number of Adjunct Assistant positions open in academia, I doubt universities spend a lot of time worrying about that.

 

[JoeWras]

LinkedIn? What happened, pray tell? I am only on that one so that head hunters can find me.

Just the bogus stuff people put up there. I should just laugh. You know, you read: "Drove project to completion" when you know the reality was "Drove project to ruins."

 

[Totoro]

Given the number of Ph.Ds they grant in the liberal arts, where the only thing you can do is fight for the limited number of Adjunct Assistant positions open in academia, I doubt universities spend a lot of time worrying about that.

Not only liberal arts.

I think the ratio is about 5 PhDs for one slot in academia right now.

 

[athena53]

Not only liberal arts.

I think the ratio is about 5 PhDs for one slot in academia right now.

Outside of liberal arts, there are at least more opportunities in businesses. Many of the actuaries I know have Ph.Ds in Math; similarly, doctorates in Engineering, Geology, Biology, etc. can get you a good non-academic job. Much harder if it's in Art History or English Literature.

 

[papadad111]

I like the coursework because it's an oppy to interact and mentor the younger generation informally.
For me, that is a life satisfaction and fulfillment issue. Less about personally acquiring knowledge and more about helping others along the same journey.

 

[petershk]

It's an interesting problem. While I totally agree with people who say what's important is to do what you want... in practice what you want is effected he what others do, the envy you feel and so on. It's not like they are separate parts of the brain or emotions.

So I think... don't try too hard to remove the envy or doubt. It's OK to be envious and it's OK to be doubtful... that's part of the decision making process. It's also OK to decide one way and change your mind later (although this can have huge ranges of difficulty).

Something I tried to get out of these funks is to try and so something I never thought I was good at... or all that interested in. In my case it was drawing.

I just started drawing 20-30 minutes a day, looking at YouTube videos reading articles. My drawing is way better but still crappy . But... it caused me to focus on something, see progress and learn to focus and concentrate outside of the "thou shalt do this" environment that work and school tend towards.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[RioIndy]

I just wanted to chime in how excellent this thread and its responses have been. Too many to quote and relate to. Thumbs up!

 

[medved]

Many of us cause ourselves stress by thinking we should not have feelings that we have. "I am feeling a bit jealous of my former colleague who got an interesting job and a big raise" followed by "I should not be feeling jealous, why am I feeling jealous, I don't like that I feel jealous, I need to eliminate that feeling, etc." Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling something, it might be better to just accept that you feel it: "OK, so I am feeling a bit jealous. that is interesting; I never expected to feel jealous of a guy who is working when I don't have to work. But I guess that is understandable, since I spent so many years working and competing. Maybe its not really possible to change one's orientation 100%. Anyway, if I am jealous of his promotion, he and others are probably jealous of my leisure. So everyone is, I guess, sometimes, a little bit jealous. Or at least I am. Now, remind me, when is my tee time tomorrow?" It is not always easy to uncritically accept our feelings. But it is something to aspire to.

 

[Vagabond2020]

"comparison is the thief of joy"

 

[ls99]

Eh, about 40 years ago I decided that I have no peers.

Therefore never a concern of what peers thought. Or for that matter I never gave a rat's a$$ of what any one thought about what I do or don't. The only one that counts is DW, though we agree to disagree on some stuff.

 

[zesty]

"comparison is the thief of joy"

Interesting. I have always reminded myself that no matter what I do, there are 1 million people who could do it better than me.

Maybe that is why I feel crappy all the time.

 

[Totoro]

Interesting. I have always reminded myself that no matter what I do, there are 1 million people who could do it better than me.

Maybe that is why I feel crappy all the time.

Yeah.

Also: most important things are being worked on by far capable people than myself, so no need for me. Unimportant things too actually.

Stare at the eternal nothingness, know you are heading there fast. And still be happy. Behold the challenge of living as a human.