Tales from a botched reorg

[Leonidas]

The Grand Poohbah has decreed that all meetings shall end 5 minutes early so that people are not late for their next meetings (which of itself speaks volumes). So what does a dysfunctional front line manager who I escaped last year do? Running from conference room to conference room climbing the furniture so that she can sync all the wall clocks with their Blackberry.

Wow. It sounds like you have a busy time ahead preparing for the move, but I hope you find the time to take a few moments to savor how wonderful it is to escape that pack of lunatics.

Just thinking, back in the day, I would have stayed late or come in early in the mornings to readjust all the clocks - but I'm evil that way.

 

[73ss454]

Sorta like going from class to class in HS. Brilliant deduction!

 

[Brat]

Have you told them you are leaving?

 

[brewer12345]

Have you told them you are leaving?

Yes, they know. They seem to be viewing it as a transfer and playing nice. The VP over us invited me to lunch tomorrow. Hoping it does not include a too little-too late counter offer that I am not interested in.

 

[Brat]

After many, many, years in HR I observed that most people resign because of the way they are treated/the workplace functions than because they got a better financial offer elsewhere. Counter offers, unless expressly solicited, are a waste of time.

 

[brewer12345]

After many, many, years in HR I observed that most people resign because of the way they are treated/the workplace functions than because they got a better financial offer elsewhere. Counter offers, unless expressly solicited, are a waste of time.

I would agree. And I would also be extremely leery of accepting one, no matter how attractive. There are simply too many ways for a POd employer to extract their pound of flesh after the fact.

Heard of another resignation today. Based on the job the exiting employee took, I would guess that she is doubling or tripling her compensation.

 

[FreeAtLast]

It sounds like you really pulled some things together and made some good choices to get on with your life. Best of luck. You will do just fine.

 

[DangerMouse]

No matter how good any counter offer may be, keep walking. Remember how you reached the point of not being able to take it anymore, because these folks are not going to change. Anything they say will just be words, nothing will change.

 

[kcowan]

Even worse is that current management are just trying to buy some time until you are dispensable...

 

[brewer12345]

Well, I was in the office today so I "adjusted" a few clocks. Counteroffer does not seem to be lurking, which is a relief.

 

[Bimmerbill]

We have people here in my government workplace that attend meetins all day, every day. I avoid all meetings. If they want me to come to a meeting I want to be driving the train or making decisions.

 

[HFWR]

Oh, a classic for the ages:

The Grand Poohbah has decreed that all meetings shall end 5 minutes early so that people are not late for their next meetings (which of itself speaks volumes). So what does a dysfunctional front line manager who I escaped last year do? Running from conference room to conference room climbing the furniture so that she can sync all the wall clocks with their Blackberry.

As Dave Barry liked to say, "I am not making this up."

We're having a meeting to decide when the next meeting will be...

Wow. It sounds like you have a busy time ahead preparing for the move, but I hope you find the time to take a few moments to savor how wonderful it is to escape that pack of lunatics.

Just thinking, back in the day, I would have stayed late or come in early in the mornings to readjust all the clocks - but I'm evil that way.

Love it!

 

[Nords]

As Dave Barry liked to say, "I am not making this up."

You're really going to miss that place...

When you get to your new workplace, maybe you should start doing all the things that your previous PHBs used to do. When your new bosses query you as to [-]WTF[/-] your reasoning, you could say "Oh, that was the policy of my previous PHB." Would word eventually get back to HQ?

Sea story: on 1980s submarines, quartermasters were in charge of synchronizing the clocks scattered throughout the spaces. The procedural card (you knew the Navy would have a procedure for this) specified getting the "right" time from the satellite-synchronized digital clock, starting a stopwatch, and setting all the clocks according to the originally recorded time plus the stopwatch's elapsed time. Of course the procedure also included an "equipment guide list" of where all the clocks were located.

This task was traditionally assigned to the newest QM, who was considered capable of completing the task without supervision. (Oops.) One day a QM came into our engineering watch space (as far away from the digital clock as you could get) and inquired as to the location of one of the clocks. After the usual "Get qualified, nub" hassle, he finally noticed the clock on the bulkhead. He consulted his notecard and set it back 23 minutes... essentially making all of our watches 23 minutes longer. As you can imagine, this attracted some attention.

It turned out that he'd written down the time from the digital clock, but had neglected the part about the stopwatch. He had set every clock on the sub to the time written on his sheet of paper, although it took him about 23 minutes to get to us.

Luckily he was able to recover from this faux pas via the usual remedy: several months of supervised practice...

 

[brewer12345]

Well, the "good feelings" in this overturned termite heap spread pretty far up the line. Had lunch with the VP to levels up from me today and it was pretty clear that he is massively unhappy and will bail in a year when he is eligible for his pension and retiree medical coverage. And this is a 30 year man who has seen it all.

This afternoon I was pretty much running a meeting for my team with a dozen actuaries from another organization in their office, which had decor straight out of the 70s. One of the actuaries had muttonchop sideburns, half were obese, and two of them fell asleep at the table after their boss left after hour 1. And these people are the cream of the crop compared to their brethren.

 

[SteveL]

Have you seen the movie "Office Space"? If not, go out right now and rent it. Sounds like you are living the movie....

 

[brewer12345]

Have you seen the movie "Office Space"? If not, go out right now and rent it. Sounds like you are living the movie....

Oh, yes, I have a copy.

"I could burn down the building..."

 

[SteveL]

Where I worked before I retired, one of the cheeses.....(you know, the big gouda, head cheddar, and the others) used to go around to various outside companies and give talks about business ethics......then, he would get the company to pay for his trips to Dallas to watch the Cowboys. Then, we had a SVP, who was short, very short, wore lifts, chased secretaries, cheated at golf....you know the type. Too many of those guys....

 

[Leonidas]

Well, I was in the office today so I "adjusted" a few clocks.

Yeah, yeah. And it felt goood, didn't it?

This afternoon I was pretty much running a meeting for my team with a dozen actuaries from another organization in their office, which had decor straight out of the 70s. One of the actuaries had muttonchop sideburns, half were obese, and two of them fell asleep at the table after their boss left after hour 1. And these people are the cream of the crop compared to their brethren.

Kudos to for keeping a straight face. Or from refraining from humming a lullaby to see if you couldn't lull the rest of them off to sleep before quietly exiting the room. Muttonchops? How Dickensian is your world?

When I w*rked at one of Unca Sam's three-letter agencies the non-fed amongst us tried rebelling against the mandatory daily supervisors meeting. The direct approach got no joy. But then we came up with the sneaky way. We just briefed the same thing every day, with minor variations. My immediate boss noticed it in two days, but the big boss, he of the mandatory meeting fame, it took him eight days. After some screaming we went back to once a week meetings.

 

[brewer12345]

Yeah, yeah. And it felt goood, didn't it?

Kudos to for keeping a straight face. Or from refraining from humming a lullaby to see if you couldn't lull the rest of them off to sleep before quietly exiting the room. Muttonchops? How Dickensian is your world?

When I w*rked at one of Unca Sam's three-letter agencies the non-fed amongst us tried rebelling against the mandatory daily supervisors meeting. The direct approach got no joy. But then we came up with the sneaky way. We just briefed the same thing every day, with minor variations. My immediate boss noticed it in two days, but the big boss, he of the mandatory meeting fame, it took him eight days. After some screaming we went back to once a week meetings.

I work in a strange place. If anything, the place I am going is in even more of a time warp, but has less bureaucracy.

The repeat briefing story is hilarious.

I realized yesterday when I was treated to lunch in the exec dining room that that every time I am there (maybe 3 times a year) I see the same cast of the least technically competent people who also happen to be the most obsequious ass kissers in attendance. It struck me that they must be lining up on hands and knees like circus seals in the hopes of sucking out a promotion. Sickening.

 

[brewer12345]

Yeah, yeah. And it felt goood, didn't it?

Oh yes, it did. In fact, I am sorely tempted to buy a few annoy-a-trons and place them strategically before I depart.

 

[HFWR]

When I w*rked at one of Unca Sam's three-letter agencies the non-fed amongst us tried rebelling against the mandatory daily supervisors meeting. The direct approach got no joy. But then we came up with the sneaky way. We just briefed the same thing every day, with minor variations. My immediate boss noticed it in two days, but the big boss, he of the mandatory meeting fame, it took him eight days. After some screaming we went back to once a week meetings.

We used to have "module" meetings every morning, wherein we reviewed a hold and down tool list that was several hours old at meeting time, in a futile effort to explain to the decidedly non-technical "manager" what the hell it was we did. The pat answer, aside from "it's been off hold for two hours" was "by noon"...

 

[Bestwifeever]

Oh, a classic for the ages:

The Grand Poohbah has decreed that all meetings shall end 5 minutes early so that people are not late for their next meetings (which of itself speaks volumes). So what does a dysfunctional front line manager who I escaped last year do? Running from conference room to conference room climbing the furniture so that she can sync all the wall clocks with their Blackberry.

As Dave Barry liked to say, "I am not making this up."

That is the funniest real-life thing I have read on these boards or anywhere else. Does anyone else where you work realize how hilarious that is?

 

[Meadbh]

After many, many, years in HR I observed that most people resign because of the way they are treated/the workplace functions than because they got a better financial offer elsewhere. Counter offers, unless expressly solicited, are a waste of time.

Agree completely.

 

[brewer12345]

That is the funniest real-life thing I have read on these boards or anywhere else. Does anyone else where you work realize how hilarious that is?

Yes, my friends and I are well aware. But for us it has been a comedy/tragedy.

 

[Webzter]

The best thing about being one of the first out of a flaming blimp is you'll still have plenty of contacts back there to fill you in on the hilarity.