Effects of Aging?

[Nemo2]

No, we're in mixed company!

OK..I sometimes get a little behind......oops.

 

[gerntz]

If one person in a couple gets a serious illness that requires the other person to care for him/her 24/7 then 2 lives are borked at the same time: the life of the care giver and the life of the ill person.

1) It's why couple live longer than singles. 2) Not sure non-ill person always feels completely borked. After all, they have a relationship.

 

[ProspectiveBum]

1) It's why couple live longer than singles. 2) Not sure non-ill person always feels completely borked. After all, they have a relationship.

The fortunate ones still have a relationship. My grandparents were an example of that. Both very ill at the end of their lives, but their love for each other was very strong, and sustained them both.

On the flip side, DW knows a couple in their 70's, and the husband has Alzheimer's. It's advanced to the point where he can't carry on even a trivial conversation, and has no control of his bodily functions. Essentially, his wife is full-time nurse to a 250 lb. toddler. The man she married is gone. She refuses to get help, but is also extremely frustrated. It's very sad to watch.

 

[athena53]

Not sure non-ill person always feels completely borked. After all, they have a relationship.

Oh, yes, they can be. I got off easy, DH was really dependent only for the last 2 months of his life but it was still hard on me. Count out all his pills and make sure he took them. Monitor supply, refill as necessary. Whatever his poor, screwed-up appetite wanted- go out and get it even though he might eat only a few bites. If he drops something. pick it up- he might fall if he tried to (he did once). Wake up in the middle of the night when hickory nuts thump on the roof because it might be DH falling again. Pick him up off the floor. (By that time he weighed less than I did and I was 15 years younger- thankfully my back forgave me.) Worry every time you leave the house. Deal with the consequences of constipation and the reaction when he uses too much medication to reverse it.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat- he died peacefully at home and I have more good memories than bad of that time- but I wasn't working for a living and it didn't go on for years. As I said, I got off easy, and it's one reason I'm very reluctant to get into a relationship at this age where I might have to do it again soon, not after 13 years of marriage.

 

[Souschef]

Oh, yes, they can be. I got off easy, DH was really dependent only for the last 2 months of his life but it was still hard on me. Count out all his pills and make sure he took them. Monitor supply, refill as necessary. Whatever his poor, screwed-up appetite wanted- go out and get it even though he might eat only a few bites. If he drops something. pick it up- he might fall if he tried to (he did once). Wake up in the middle of the night when hickory nuts thump on the roof because it might be DH falling again. Pick him up off the floor. (By that time he weighed less than I did and I was 15 years younger- thankfully my back forgave me.) Worry every time you leave the house. Deal with the consequences of constipation and the reaction when he uses too much medication to reverse it.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat- he died peacefully at home and I have more good memories than bad of that time- but I wasn't working for a living and it didn't go on for years. As I said, I got off easy, and it's one reason I'm very reluctant to get into a relationship at this age where I might have to do it again soon, not after 13 years of marriage.

Your story really touched me. I was caregiver for my wife for her last 12 years. She did not need round the clock attention until her last month. She also died peacefully in her sleep.
I can understand your reluctance to get into another relationship, but I would not trade the last 10 years with my present wife for anything. I keep kidding her about celebrating our 25th anniversary when she will be 89 LOL

 

[Winemaker]

I know, I know, it doesn't matter, but have you colored your hair with a temporary color to see how you like it? I notice in gatherings with friends who cover the gray, women and men, that they seem to act differently than the ones who don't. Sort of interesting.

Gray? Hell, I've had white hair and a beard since I turned 50, that's when I signed my contract modeling for holy pictures.
When it ends, I'll sign a contract for Santa pictures.

 

[ratface]

losing flexibility

I'm 58. Planned on retiring at 55 but was forced to retire at 51 because of throat cancer. Glad I left early, glad to still be alive. Ran marathons in my thirties and forties but also smoked and drank too much. Have always done some type of exercise regime.This year began the "Starting Strength" program of barbell training and it's making me feel pretty good even with arthritic knees. The last couple years have been my best with the exception of not being so limber anymore. I live simply, exercise regularly, cook all my own healthy meals and generally look after DW who is still working. I still can walk really well and can almost bench press my own body weight of 195lbs. I was able to put my own roof on my garage, up and down ladders, carrying roof shingles and tools. My eyes are really getting bad and I need cheater glasses for everything. I don't heal fast, colds linger for about 6 weeks sometimes. DW and I enjoy an active sex life, no real issues there. Retire as soon as you can as life is really a huge unknown and we are much too optimistic, but how sweet it is!

 

[Teacher Terry]

Once my Dad died my Mom had guys at the senior center hitting on her all the time and at 73 she did not want another old man that she might have to take care of. When my Dad died after 14 years she was relieved. It took about 5 years before she even missed him. He had a brain injury from a stroke so was most unpleasant once that happened. Complete opposite of his fun, happy go lucky personality before.

 

[John Galt III]

One of the many problems of being a care giver to a sick old person is that the sick person may become mentally deranged, or just so miserable that he/she wants to make everyone else miserable. Nobody, I mean nobody, wants to be with the sick person, and the caregiver is sort of stuck with him/her. Use your imagination, but the horrors can be limitless. One example: the care giver has to daily clean wounds, or openings that let waste matter out, to keep them from getting infected, and the sick person tries to rip off whatever is applied, all the time screaming at the caregiver. Repeat daily (or hourly) until insanity sets in.


The caregiver often is thinking" Oh my God, it would be so great if this sick person, this albatross around my neck, would somehow just vanish. So much better for both people."

Every situation is different, but care giving can be very, very rough.

 

[Nemo2]

I've said to DW that, if I have a heart attack or somesuch and am dead before I hit the floor, that she should applaud, because it's second only to dying in my sleep.

Since we have to go anyway, I'd prefer to go quickly.

I also told her, some years ago, that if I contract dementia, she should point me towards the river and go visit family out of town......I'd also, if I became unable to care for myself on a permanent basis, urge her to dump me in some institution or other - she doesn't deserve to have the rest of her life ruined.

She, of course, says she'd never do any of these things, so I'd have to seek alternatives.

 

[ER Eddie]

I would love to go quickly, but I know that might not happen. I want to develop a better end-of-life plan. I've got the basic advance directive in place, but there is so much more you can do (I'm halfway through A Better Way of Dying, which I like). It's a grim subject, though, so I can only spend an hour on it here and there, before I have to set it down.

I'm not afraid of dying. I am afraid of being kept alive long after the quality of life goes. There are so many miserable stories.

 

[NW-Bound]

It's kinda like being a kid's party balloon when the helium starts leaking...one minute you're tight and banging up against the ceiling, the next you're saggy and floating near the floor..........and the fact that you have an upbeat slogan across your middle doesn't help one iota.

Some time back I identified this as my new theme song...still is:

Hey, this bridge looked familiar!

So, I went to my travel photo collection, and saw that I took several photos of it myself. It's the Chapel Bridge across the Reuss River in Lucerne, Switzerland (or Luzern as they call it).

 

[bjorn2bwild]

Bop 'til you drop, use it or lose it, life rolls on, with age comes.....fitness?

At the age of 105, the French amateur cyclist and world-record holder Robert Marchand is more aerobically fit than most 50-year-olds — and appears to be getting even fitter as he ages, according to a revelatory new study of his physiology.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/08/...ng-well-from-a-105-year-old-cyclist.html?_r=0

 

[razztazz]

Bop 'til you drop, use it or lose it, life rolls on, with age comes.....fitness?

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/08/...ng-well-from-a-105-year-old-cyclist.html?_r=0

Most people cannot react that way to exercise. The phenom being witnessed is good health in old age=ability to exercise, not the other way around.

 

[bjorn2bwild]

Most people cannot react that way to exercise. The phenom being witnessed is good health in old age=ability to exercise, not the other way around.

Could be, he is not a lifelong athlete. I will be making the attempt bottom up, time will tell. So far, my cycling comrades are weathering age better than the population at large.

 

[Koogie]

I would love to go quickly, but I know that might not happen.

Jack Nicholson, as a terminally ill cancer patient in the movie "The Bucket List":

""Somewhere right now, some lucky bastard is having a heart attack."

 

[NW-Bound]

Bop 'til you drop, use it or lose it, life rolls on, with age comes.....fitness?

At the age of 105, the French amateur cyclist and world-record holder Robert Marchand is more aerobically fit than most 50-year-olds — and appears to be getting even fitter as he ages, according to a revelatory new study of his physiology.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/08/...ng-well-from-a-105-year-old-cyclist.html?_r=0

This healthy centenarian is a very small man at 5' tall and 115 lbs!

It is known that big dogs have a shorter lifespan than small dogs. Wonder if people are the same.

 

[aja8888]

This healthy centenarian is a very small man at 5' tall and 115 lbs!

It is known that big dogs have a shorter lifespan than small dogs. Wonder if people are the same.

He was probably significantly taller when he was younger. People shrink with advanced age.

 

[bjorn2bwild]

This healthy centenarian is a very small man at 5' tall and 115 lbs!

It is known that big dogs have a shorter lifespan than small dogs. Wonder if people are the same.

Until we get that well controlled long term study, we'll have to rely on epidemiology. This one is interesting as it breaks a bit from expectation -

In the village of Acciaroli celebrating 100th birthdays is commonplace with one in 10 of the 700 residents expected to live to the grand old age.

And the answer, they revealed, is simple – a healthy Mediterranean diet flavoured with plenty of rosemary.
Not only do the residents of Acciaroli live long lives, those lives are relatively healthy ones the experts noted, with low levels of dementia, heart disease and other chronic conditions linked to the ravages of age.

Dr Maisel said Acciaroli was unusual in that the numbers of very old people were split evenly between men and women.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/172...ng-life-is-eating-a-med-diet-and-rampant-sex/

 

[razztazz]

He was probably significantly taller when he was younger. People shrink with advanced age.

No. He was probably somewhat taller when he was younger. Not enough to make a difference as to longevity on the basis of --Large specimen of a species vs small specimen thereof--

 

[ER Eddie]

It is known that big dogs have a shorter lifespan than small dogs. Wonder if people are the same.

According to this article, yes. It's a random pull from google search, so take it fwiw.

"The fact that tall people die younger appears to be an immutable physical reality. A short person is like a Honda Civic: compact and efficient. Tall people are Cadillac Escalades. With all that extra weight and machinery, something’s just bound to go wrong."

Height and longevity: The research is clear—being tall is hazardous to your health.

p.s. But I find articles saying the opposite, too.

"Statistical analyses show that taller people, on average, tend to live longer lives than shorter people."

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=117393&page=1

So I dunno. I do know it's nothing I can do much about, either way. I'm a short guy (5' 7"), so it would've been nice to believe my shortness has given me an advantage in that way (since it's disadvantaged me in many others), but who knows.

 

[Nemo2]

Short people are the last ones to know when it's raining, and the first ones to know when there's a flood.

 

[aja8888]

No. He was probably somewhat taller when he was younger. Not enough to make a difference as to longevity on the basis of --Large specimen of a species vs small specimen thereof--

Yeah, I guess he was a few inches taller, anyway. Whether or not that's "significant" or just "somewhat taller" is not important.

My friend's mother lost 8" in height by the time she died at 102 years old. My DW has lost only 4 inches (5'6" to 5'2") in the last 20 years. Personally, I think that losing several inches of height is significant to the person losing it.

Maybe we should start a new thread on personal loss of height over time and the reasons for it happening.

 

[becca]

This thread is pretty depressing. Thankfully at 64 no problems here. I do walk about 5 miles every day and yoga 3 times a week and mostly eat well. I do get tired at times, but then I rest. DH at 70 has some minor issues (recent shoulder replacement) but plays golf every day he can (about 4 times a week). My mother died at 79 from a stroke (really started going downhill in her 70s). I will note as she aged she got very depressed about losing her looks and lost her zest for life. She had (very) high blood pressure and wouldn't take any medication. I will note all 3 of her siblings are still living and in their 90s, so I think her relatively early demise was from her attitude. My Dad made it till almost 96. Was very active, healthy and social till the last 2 years of his life. I hope I have his genes and attitude.

I am not depressed about being older. I accept the gray hair and wrinkles. I do strive to keep my weight down so I can stay active and be able to do the things I want to do. Becoming a grandmother 3 years ago (now have 2!) has been the greatest joy of my life. I really want to dance at their weddings!

We do have many friends our age who are starting to have major issues (including the most major one...death) so we know our good fortune could change in a nanosecond.

We are just thankful for every day of good health and try to make the most of it.

 

[athena53]

Most people cannot react that way to exercise. The phenom being witnessed is good health in old age=ability to exercise, not the other way around.

I agree- very hard to separate the two. I'm convinced that my daily cardio workout has multiple health benefits, but the majority of people who have arthritis, who are very overweight, who are on meds for serious health conditions that make them feel too weak or sick to exercise, etc. probably don't exercise. Even though workouts can help many health problems, it makes it harder or impossible to start a fitness program in the first place.

Today I'm going ice skating with a church group- I haven't ice skated in decades. We'll see how my ankles hold up!