Life, Death and Investing

[unclemick]

My 89 year Mother died yesterday. We bit the bullet and had her breathing tube removed and she expired in our presence in ICU.

Inspite of her Medical Directive and Will as to a preference for 'no heroic measures' and a wish to die at home - I had her taken to the hospital and kept her going until my sister could fly out from Seattle and be present at her passing.

In my old age - I find my emotions versus carefully discussed plans are not always the same thing.

And yes - I ran up the National Medicare bill more than I had to.

Like my rent vs buy - where I actually bought when push came to shove, save vs spend questions, do that one thing before you expire questions, - this has me revisiting my frugal now - plan to do this now or that later.

Prior to this - her instructions were: I've lived a full life - so don't waste a lot of fuss when my time comes - cremate me and get on with your (we children's) lives.

I'm not sure what the lesson's here are: except perhaps I'm glad I ER'd at 49.

 

[brewer12345]

UM, I'm sorry for your loss. No doubt it is cold comfort, but your trials and travails this year definately have me reconsidering how long I am willing to wait for ER/Semi-ER.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Hello Unclemick!

Very sorry about your Mom.

You have had a tough time, my friend. Much tougher than anything I have endured. You add a lot to this board.
It's an honor to know you. I mean that.

I semiretired at 49 mostly due to my fears about "running out of time". A notorious second-guesser, that was one decision
I never regretted.

JG

 

[REWahoo]

Unclemick,

Once again I send my deepest condolences. It is obvious you have had far, far more than your fair share of troubles this year.

Your point is well taken that we all "know" what we will do in a situation, but reality has a way of re-educating us when we are faced with it. And for all of us, time may be much shorter than we think.

REW

 

[LovesLife]

Unclemick,

I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother lived to a nice old age and I am sure you are grateful to have had the time to spend with her.

My heart goes out to you. You have had to endure so much this year.

Regards,
LL

 

[Dawg52]

Gosh Unclemick, you have had a very tough year. I am deeply sorry. I spent all afternnoon yesterday with my mom(88) and aunt(94). They are in good health but I know my days with them are numbered. I dread when I have to let them go.

I too think ER is the way to go. One more year for me.

Good luck Unclemick!

 

[Eagle43]

So sorry, Unclemick.  You must be ready for this year to end. My condolences and hope that things really get better for you.

And yes, only today is promised.  Carpe diem.  Those who want to retire, or for that matter, those who want do do anything, had better do it NOW.

 

[JPatrick]

UncleMick I am very sorry about your Mom. I'm sure you followed your heart in making your final decisions and somehow, the heart never seems to be wrong.
The fact that you would find the time to share the wisdom that sad times like this produce is one of the reasons we value your friendship.

 

[cube_rat]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  This has been one tough year for you.  

 

[Martha]

In my old age - I find my emotions versus carefully discussed plans are not always the same thing.

I heard a program on public radio about health care directives. The speaker, a doctor, said that when people are young and healthy they often immediately say that they do not want any heroic measures taken to preserve their life. But when people are terminally ill often this feeling changes. People just don't want to give up on life.

My emotions intervene too--as I wait to see if my grandneice will survive to an intestine and liver transplant.

Take care UncleMick.

 

[Andre1969]

Unclemick, you have my deepest condolenses, and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[SteveR]

Unclemick2,

I am sorry to hear about your mom.  Even when death is expected it still carries with it the sting of loss.  Discontinuing life support of a loved on is never easy.  I did it for my late wife and I still think it was the greatest gift I every gave her; the gift of a peaceful transition into the what is beyond.

Your life this year has been filled with loss and pain.  I am sorry you have had to endure so much is so short a time.  Sometimes tragedy travels as triplets and you have had yours this year.  

I wish for you a much happier 2006.  

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

My prayers as well unclemick.

When my grandmother passed away at just shy of 96, she was ready to go.  She led a very simple life.  Never learned how to drive.  She was content to paint, and when she couldn't paint anymore, took up needlepoint (making lots of sweaters, scarves and "baby balls" for everyone).  She also didn't want any heroic measures (her body couldn't have handled the strain anyway).

 

[Outtahere]

Unclemick, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. No matter what age it's always hard to lose Mom.

 

[uncledrz]

All our prayers and thoughts are with you.

Tough decisions. You made the right one.

 

[azanon]

Unclemick, you have my condolenses.

......

Not being promised tomorrow makes me want to consume more today, moreso that it wants me to save more today to retire early.  For example, if in hindsight i die of cancer 10 years from now, before i could even early retire, then what good did living an extreme frugal life do me except cause me to live..... well... an extreme frugal life for a reward i never saw.

Ideally, i want my account balance at my death to just barely cover my funeral.

 

[peggy]

Add my thoughts and condolences to those already offered.

And my thanks for reminding me yet again that today truly is all we have.

 

[MJ]

unclemick, I hope the coming holidays will be full of joyous memories and that you are surrounded by loving family and good friends.

MJ

 

[KB]

Unclemick...

I'm so sorry about your Mom. You're a strong man to stay standing after all you've gone through this year.
This is just a reminder that we never know what might happen...

Stay strong and I hope next year is a much better year for you.

 

[Dreamer]

UncleMick,

Just wanted to say that I am sorry about all of your losses also. I agree with everything that JG had to say about you. I hope that 2006 is a great year for you. You deserve some very happy times with all that you have been through.

Dreamer

 

[Ginger]

Unclemick, so sorry for the loss of your mother.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal'

 

[Nords]

Sorry about your mom, UncleMick. I guess there's an undercurrent of relief there, too.

 

[HFWR]

Unclemick,

Having lost my Mom to cancer recently, I am empathetic as well as sympathetic. It was an almost surreal experience, one that was tough for the whole family, and very exhausting. We chose hospice, which, in essence, provided for comfort, but no extraordinary measures. Thankfully, she passed with relatively no pain, and was surrounded in her last days by her family...

A salt-of-the-earth, hard working, God-fearing, old-fashioned Mom if there ever was one... They just don't make 'em like that anymore!!

Let me add my condolences to the voices of others!! May 2006 be a much better year, and may you and TNW live happily ever after!!

 

[Leslie]

Adding my condolences on the loss of your mother...I am so very sorry.

 

[haha]

UncleMick, I am so sory for your loss. You must feel a bit like Job- an awful lot of pain in a short time. Please take good care of yourself.

Mikey