More background,
Spending is at about 200K year, Income 250K -350K depending on bonus. Stock Options underwater for years. NW about 1.5 MM without Home Equity. 2 Kids education funded via 529s, 3rd kid in Grad school and on her own financially. If my plan was to work until age 62 I would be considered to be living below my means given our defined benefit pension and SERP (Supplemental executive retirement program) and 401K. If I left work next year I leave SERP on the table. (vesting in SERP is at 62). If we liquidated everything and we were on the street with the clothes on our back, I would still have less than 2MM. To ER at 48 would be "possible" with a dramatic change in lifestyle. I am from a modest background and my income has risen as my career progressed at Megacorp. Each relocation resulted in a larger house combined with a more expensive lifestyle. My wife stopped working nearly 20 years ago and is not a shopper. Expenses are driven by a large mortgage, taxes, 3 vehicles, teenage insurances, college expenses and savings. boat, golf, travel etc. This would all be ok if I was still enjoying my career, but I am not and it is wearing on me. Up at 5 and gone til at least 7 with significant travel to decidedly unglamorous locals can only be sustained if you enjoy / believe in what you are doing. I am probably in the midst of second guessing my long term goals and am in the midst of a classic mid life crisis. I did the sportscar thing ( I liked driving it, but hated people looking at me) and won't consider an affair since I have a better wife than I deserve anyway. My fear is that I am over glamorizing a slower paced, less consumptive lifestyle and may regret what I give up financially or that my self esteem has become entangled with success / competency at work.. My opposing fear is that if I continue at this pace, I won't live to see retirement and my widow will be rich.