Felt a little guilty

[Eyerishgold]

I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. So I went looking for jeans over the weekend and found a decent pair at Nordstrom Rack......for $59!!! I picked them up, carried them around the store once or twice, went to stand in the checkout line and then returned them to the rack and left the store without buying them.

Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?

 

[brewer12345]

I think it reflects on your perception of value received in the purchase. You may not have quite recognized it, but clearly the jeans were not worth the $59 the store was charging. Nobody "needs" a $59 pair of jeans, especially when there are significantly cheaper alternatives. You wanted it but weren't willing to pay the price. No big deal.

 

[maddythebeagle]

I dont think a lot of folks here would have even bothered picking up a 60 dollar pair of pants....so you are rather ahead on that point

 

[calmloki]

This is not normal behavior and you do need professional help. Luckily, I am able to assist you. As a professional (gets paid for it) I find myself able to spend other people's money with little personal trauma. I will contact you off-line and arrange for you to send as much money as you can to me for spending. You are welcome.

 

[Achiever51]

I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. ...
Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?

I find myself doing the same thing now that I'm retired. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I much more aware of my financial situation now and I view every purchase in the context of "what am I giving up by buying this?" So, lately, I see lots of stuff that I want (or thought I wanted), but I'm just not buying it.

That said, you mentioned that you NEED the jeans -- it's not a case of want. When I NEED something, I do tend to be more selective than I was in the past -- and more critical of my choices -- but I ultimately will spend what I think is necessary to get the best choice available. And, if that best choice is a pair of $60 jeans that I'll get a lot of wear from, and will feel good wearing, then I'm buying 'em.

 

[W2R]

I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. So I went looking for jeans over the weekend and found a decent pair at Nordstrom Rack......for $59!!! I picked them up, carried them around the store once or twice, went to stand in the checkout line and then returned them to the rack and left the store without buying them.

Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?

Maybe you wanted to give yourself the opportunity to shop in some other store besides Nordstroms, for jeans! I'll bet you have a lot of fun checking out what is available elsewhere, and you would probably save a whole lot of money on jeans that would make you feel just as happy.

If not, you can always go back!

 

[OAG]

Maybe you were just subconsciously trying set the point at which you could find a less expensive product. When I wanted to get home improvement work done I used to call Sears and get an estimate -- it was always higher than anyone else's. Then from that point I could get other estimates or determine what I could "save" by doing it myself. Always made me fee better knowing how much under the "highest bid" I could get or do something for myself.

 

[Sarah in SC]

We have a new mantra around the house:
"Spend less, save more, retire earlier"! It helps when the Home Depot virus hits!

What do you need the jeans for? If you need work outside jeans, then get a pair of Carhartt's--they'll last the rest of your life. If you need pants, go to a discounter and get some--I buy Eddie Bauer on sale for $29.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

I think your behavior is healthy, other than I wonder why you're even stepping foot in Nordstrom's if you're concerned about getting value for money. Value meaning functional clothing.
I've never paid $59 for a pair of jeans.

 

[CuppaJoe]

Just last week I almost picked up a pair of slacks marked $55.00. Even though I had a $20.00 coupon for items over $50.00, I did not buy it. Now, I really feel nuts, going into stores only if I have a $20.00 coupon. I have two of those coupons on me as we type. Next time, I'll try the discount store, maybe.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

i only go into nordstrom's to listen to the piano player under the escalator. i go into macy's or dillards to purchase jeans. because i've always just worn cheap jeans, shorts and t-shirts and never dressed for style, i'd never have to rethink a purchase now that i'm on a fixed income. i can go about my day being just as cheap as i ever was and guilt free at that.

when i want to "dress up" i just hit the gym, buff up and put on a tighter t.

 

[Eyerishgold]

Thanks for all the replies.

I guess I was just feeling a bit crazy for not being able to spend money. I don't think it was that price of the jeans that was at issue. Even if I had gone to a store where I could get less expensive jeans I know that I still would've felt guilty. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Maybe it's good for my wallet but bad for my sanity.

 

[brewer12345]

Thanks for all the replies.

I guess I was just feeling a bit crazy for not being able to spend money. I don't think it was that price of the jeans that was at issue. Even if I had gone to a store where I could get less expensive jeans I know that I still would've felt guilty. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Maybe it's good for my wallet but bad for my sanity.

Do you have a budget, with fairly detailed categories? Some people feel that a budget helps them feel free to spend what is OK to spend.

 

[TromboneAl]

You might have felt more guilty had you bought them.

 

[Goonie]

We have a couple of "thrift" stores in town that we like to shop at. I've seen a lot of 'designer' and/or 'name-brand' jeans, just like new, for $5 to $10.....some still had the tags on them. We were at one a few weeks ago that is a consignment shop, and bought a couple of bags of new or like-new cloths for a tad less than $15. I got an LL Bean coat for $5....just like new! And we'll make back what little we spent, because we're going to take some stuff down there tomorrow, that we no longer need or want.

The last pair of new jeans I bought were on sale at K-Mart for (IIRC) $8.50, this past Feb in FL.

I love thrift shops and sale racks, especially 'out of season' sale racks!!!

 

[Eyerishgold]

Do you have a budget, with fairly detailed categories? Some people feel that a budget helps them feel free to spend what is OK to spend.

We do have a fairly detiled budget but I feel like if I don't spend what my budget allows for I can save more.

And just for the record it was Nordstrom Rack which is essentially their outlet store which carries overstock and outdated items so the prices are generally much better that Nordstrom's.

 

[HFWR]

Costco has Kirkland jeans for under $20...

 

[donheff]

Go to Costco and pick up a pair for $25

 

[thefed]

i feel buyers remorse a lot, but im getting better on the sub 100 dollar category.


anything above that and you'd think i just lost a loved one (well...i did! benjamin!)

its good...shows that your are concious and aware!

 

[W2R]

We do have a fairly detiled budget but I feel like if I don't spend what my budget allows for I can save more.

And just for the record it was Nordstrom Rack which is essentially their outlet store which carries overstock and outdated items so the prices are generally much better that Nordstrom's.

That sounds a lot better than Nordstroms as far as price! I'll bet it's a lot of fun to prowl through their racks to see what you can find.

I guess I'm lucky. My favorite jeans in the entire world are Lee Jeans, and I can get the style I like at Academy for $22. They're probably cheaper someplace else, if I took the time to look.

 

[Nords]

Those jeans didn't make you feel that you were trading cash for value and you'd have suffered instant buyer's remorse, along with the pain of spending additional time in Nordstrom Rack trying to get a refund (not just store credit).

Last February, when I was freezing my assets off, I bought a $30 pair of jeans in a San Antonio Mervyn's. It's the first pair of jeans that I've bought in 10 years, though, so I understand the "need" not want part.

For extra "guy bonus points" you could drive your spouse nuts by finding a pair that fit you perfectly off the rack and don't need hemming. Of course it'd be a grand slam if you could make it happen on the first pair and then announce that you're finally done shopping and boy are you exhausted...

 

[Caroline]

Do you really mean that you feel "guilty?"

I think I'd feel guilty if my spending deprived a loved one of something, or put me WAY back on my retirement, or was getting to be a serious habit.

If it was just one thing once in a great while... then no.

I have done this same "pick it up and walk around with it" routine in the thrift store. Not because the item is expensive or I can't afford it, but because I'm not quite sure I need it in the closet with ALL the other stuff I've got. It's more a question of being unsure of myself than of guilt, I think.

On the other hand, I've decided to take up biking with a friend, who just upgraded to a $650 hybrid (Cannondale Roadmaster, on sale, for those of you who care about such things). I know he does a LOT of work looking for the best item, so once he'd decided what he wanted I just told the clerk "give me what he gets in my size."

Clerk and friend were both appalled, but I know my mind on this, so it was far less painful to pay the money than to pour over brochures for six months.

But to answer your question, I don't think it's an issue. It's the folks who drop that kind of money repeatedly and without a single doubt that have the problem.

 

[chinaco]

I solved that problem years ago. I do not shop at Nordstroms, Saks, and the like. But I do often buy name brand clothes are discounters. There are a number around. They sell overstock, etc.

DW does the same... but of course, she is a bit more fashion conscious than I am.

I was looking at dress slacks on LLBean the other day (for w*rk). They were a wool blend. I shook my head. I am going back to the local discounter. I have purchased 100% wool trousers (name brand) that had a retail labeled cost of $100+ for about $30. Same with 100% pinpoint cotton button down collar shirts. At Macy's anywhere form $45 - $60 for the nicer shirts. I get them for $19.95 at the discounter. Shoes.. same thing. And these are not seconds.

Long live overstock discounter retailers!

 

[tightasadrum]

It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?

Yep. Ever since I was about twelve and lost my piano lesson money. Got my butt whipped but good when the Old Man got home. I guess you could say he impressed me about the value of money. It's been difficult to turn it loose ever since. DW has told me for years that I need professional help, but it's probably too late to worry about it now.

 

[citrine]

I can't wait to retire.....I am going to spend it in wide leg sweatpants, tanks, jeans, and sweatshirts! I usually go to the thrift stores and New York and Company when they have their mega sales at the end of the season....with the coupons!