Favorite fortune cookie?

[Westernskies]

DW and I were out for Chinese food last night, we always enjoy reading our fortune cookies...

When I read mine, I blurted out "this is the stupidest fortune I have ever seen" and then handed it over to her:

" Keep negative comments to yourself. Avoid disputes"

She had just taken a drink of tea, most of it shot out her nose...



Which begs the question:

What was your favorite fortune cookie? and why?

 

[harley]

I've been carrying my favorite one in my wallet for about 5 years now.

"You are going to have some new clothes".

 

[bbbamI]

Hmmmm...I got loads of laughs from my friends one night when I opened my fortune cookie and found the piece of paper was blank.

 

[Silver]

Many years ago my former husband opened a fortune cookie and then looked at me with his eyes very wide open as if he had been shot. He silently handed over the fortune, which said "You have many opinions, often in the wrong."

I don't have the husband anymore, but still have the fortune in a small frame holding his picture. I remember laughing so hard that night that I almost fell off the chair.

Thanks for starting this thread....thinking about this actually made be laugh outloud again!

 

[CyclingInvestor]

.

 

[HFWR]

"Me love you long time."

Oh, wait, that wasn't from a fortune cookie...

 

[braumeister]

DW took a walking tour of Chinatown in San Francisco once, and one of the stops was a factory where they made fortune cookies, all with risqué fortunes.

 

[walkinwood]

I got this in Dec and have it pasted on my monitor
'Accept your independence and use it wisely'

 

[cj]

I have this one posted on my bulletin board:

"You will be showered with good luch". Not sure what "luch" is.

 

[Nords]

From the moment our daughter was able to understand our words, every time we opened a fortune cookie we told her that it read "You are a good girl".

Of course that tailed off once she learned to read, but she was 15 years old before she realized we'd been making that up...

 

[freebird5825]

ANY fortune cookie is good when you append "between the sheets" after the sentence.

 

[Amethyst]

I used to think the numbers on the other side were coded fortunes. Then I learned they were lottery numbers!

Amethyst

 

[tmm99]

I've been carrying my favorite one in my wallet for about 5 years now.

"You are going to have some new clothes".

 

[tmm99]

I don't remember the exact words, but I (female) went out with my co-worker (male) for lunch one time (just two of us, which I do with a bunch of different people, so no big deal) and my fortune said something like "who sits next to you has a crush on you" or something of that nature. I thought it was hilarious. We had a good laugh. (I was laughing harder for some reason...)

 

[Purron]

" Keep negative comments to yourself. Avoid disputes"

Don't remember any of the many fortune cookies I've received over the years, but have to say this one's a winner. Reminds me of what my Mom always says:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything".

Mom's a wise lady

 

[Sue J]

"Your financial outlook is excellent"

I have that one posted on the refrigerator.

 

[harley]

Don't remember any of the many fortune cookies I've received over the years, but have to say this one's a winner. Reminds me of what my Mom always says:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything".

Mom's a wise lady

I prefer the Alice Roosevelt Longworth version:

"If you can’t say something good about someone, come sit next to me."