The straw that broke the camels back...

[rayinpenn]

It started with...
1) We had a bad rain storm... that rain was blowing sideways with black clouds and wicked thunder. The next day Mrs Ray: "Ray come here for a minute" - always bad news. The stain on the ceiling she showed me means that the problem with the new roof hadn't been fixed.

2) The project I am working on (I am a developer) has been going poorly. I subsequently learned that I hadn't been given all the data: My partner in the venture hasn't been carrying her weight. My boss knows this and has spoken to both her and her superior.

3) Friday (today) I normally work from home but today I went in late to talk to the boss and show I'm really trying to get the work done. Half the way there I realize my parking access card is in my old CRV with my son (17) who's working the 9AM-1PM shift. Today he is chasing carts. He's been working at a local supermarket for a couple of weeks now. I turn around, drive there and arrive around 9:45. I spy my car in the lot and drive over. I get out and immediately notice the car is running - I think what? I then see my son sitting in the front seat with the seat back, air conditioning blasting with a towel over his face... I sense I am going to lose it in public... I tell him give me my access card and don't ever let me catch you... (You get the drift) and drive off. My blood pressure no doubt is spiking and I am angry... I call the wife on the speaker phone and tell her what our son was doing (A major vent session).. Later he shows no evidence of being contrite and managed to anger her further. She tossed him out of the house for a couple of hours. I come home and he's full of excuses; I wasn't having any of it --I suggest he retire to his bedroom.

I count my blessings every day, and I know in the big scheme of things this is nothing. I know my mood could have me make some bad parenting decisions but I tell the story to my colleagues at work... and they prove laughter is the best medicine...
I'll let him think about it for a while..



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[aja8888]

Any update on the roof leak?

 

[rayinpenn]

Any update on the roof leak?

Monday their Q/c guy comes again...my frustration with them is beyond belief.


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[Big_Hitter]

So he got in trouble for goofing off at work?

 

[eytonxav]

Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm sure he got the message.

 

[aja8888]

Boys will be boys, could be worse (a lot worse).

 

[Bestwifeever]

Maybe it was his break.

 

[rayinpenn]

So he got in trouble for goofing off at work?

1. Running the old car that doesn't need additional time on the engine
2. Wasting gas
3. If you not doing carts ...you are bagging or helping out..




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[rayinpenn]

Maybe it was his break.

He was only at work for 45 minutes at that point...


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[Just_Steve]

Lions eat their young for a reason.

 

[Options]

My teenage years were so awkward I'm surprised I was able to walk through them without constantly falling over. I did the same kinds of things your DS did all the time, and was constantly being called on the carpet for one idiotic thing or another. Here's the catch: I didn't have a clue. To me, they weren't excuses at all; I just couldn't see what I was doing. For some males, teenage years include a painful lack of common sense.

Decades later and I'm the most sensible (perhaps too sensible) of my siblings. Things work out. Yes, it's frustrating for parents, but its part of the package when you choose to have kids. Besides, you'll get your revenge: now my parents act like children and frustrate all of us! (I'll never forget my shock years ago at hearing myself blurt to my mother "I'm not comfortable with you doing that" regarding some harebrained financial move she was going to make)

 

[EastWest Gal]

Any update on the roof leak?

The roof may not be the problem. A sideways wind blown rain can send the water up under the eaves and cause the water staining and damage. The roof may actually be fine. We had this happen several years ago. All was well and still is with our roof.


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[HadEnuff]

that's a great story. I have no advice, as I'm sure you handled it just fine.

Thanks for sharing. My kids are in their mid-late 30s, but I caught them doing worse things. And I didn't get caught, doing worse things.

But, like you, I would have been more than a bit steamed if I had happened upon the same scene.

I thought this was going to be a " last straw and I told the boss I'm done" story.

 

[RobbieB]

Was it really hot out there in the parking lot?

Maybe he just got done pushing a train of 20 carts up a hill?

I thought you caught him with a crack pipe...

 

[gauss]

I thought you caught him with a crack pipe...

+1 Or otherwise "pleasuring" himself in some fashion...

 

[Ronnieboy]

Was it really hot out there in the parking lot?

Maybe he just got done pushing a train of 20 carts up a hill?

I thought you caught him with a crack pipe...

I was thinking he was pretending he had a job and would just take off for 4 hours a day.....I guess I watch too much t.v.

 

[Big_Hitter]

Yeah Ray two thoughts:

1 a year from now you will have forgotten what day of the week this occurred

2 not to criticize your writing style but there was a bit of a gap between towell over head and storming off lol

 

[redduck]

Ray...
I don't understand what exactly your son was doing and why you were so angry about it.

 

[ERD50]

So he got in trouble for goofing off at work?

I'm lost too. The post is about as cryptic as the titles the OP uses.

Did the kid get fired, and spends the day sitting in the CRV with the AC on? Was he goofing off from his cart toting job?

ooops, I see there were a bunch of posts asking similar questions since I reloaded the page. Some more creative than I was going to type (but I was thinking some of those thoughts!).

-ERD50

 

[ERD50]

Now that I've had a chance to read some more, I'll add to my previous post...

My teenage years were so awkward I'm surprised I was able to walk through them without constantly falling over. I did the same kinds of things your DS did all the time, and was constantly being called on the carpet for one idiotic thing or another. Here's the catch: I didn't have a clue. To me, they weren't excuses at all; I just couldn't see what I was doing. For some males, teenage years include a painful lack of common sense. ...

Yep, I'm just simply amazed when I see some teenager on TV that seems so accomplished and comfortable with public speaking, and can respond to a question on the spot with something more than "ummm, fine". I guess I turned out mostly OK, but I wonder what I could have been with that kind of a head start.

To the OP - if many of the people on this forum could not figure out what you were talking about, and we are adults, and many of us have successfully raised kids to adulthood, I'm betting that your son won't understand a word of what you say, or try to non-verbally communicate. Don't assume anything.

-ERD50

 

[ABQ2015]

I was thinking he was pretending he had a job and would just take off for 4 hours a day.....I guess I watch too much t.v.

My 25 year old niece did this recently while living with me for a month to "save up money for an apartment." I wish she had a father like Ray when she was growing up. My sister was way too easy.

 

[Bamaman]

I think you need to call the U.S. Army recruiter and give him your son's name as a potential future soldier. Maybe his selling skills are strong enough to convince your son they have a place for him.

Try to live with him until he gets out of high school--and then move into a 1 bedroom apartment in Florida to see if you like living down there. Worse comes to worse, leave him behind. You've done your duty as a parent when they're 18 years old and out of high school.

 

[JDARNELL]

My son's first job was at the local military base. One day he could not find his access badge. So he looked for it for about 2 hrs I took him to the base to look for it. Not there. Then over to the personnel office, security office, etc. After about 4 hrs of this stuff I uncorked on him and told him that had he worked for me I would have fired his ass and if he had been an airman I would have given him an article 15. He got the message real quick! a year later he still talks about that moment in his life. They do get it!

 

[ERD50]

Sorry, can't help myself...

I then see my son sitting in the front seat with the seat back, air conditioning blasting with a towel over his face... I sense I am going to lose it in public... I tell him give me my access card and don't ever let me catch you... (You get the drift) and drive off.

So I'll bet all your son heard was "don't ever let me catch you...".

So he'll try to figure out how to not get caught, and maybe never figure out what you thought he was doing wrong.

I can just about guarantee a teenager is not going to relate to:

1. Running the old car that doesn't need additional time on the engine - Huh? Time? Engine? The clock shows the right time, and isn't the engine under the hood? WTF is the old man going on about now?

2. Wasting gas - I wasn't wasting it, I was using it to run the AC - I was hot. Doesn't Dad know you need to run the car to get the AC to work? He doesn't know much. I wonder how he manages to not get fired? And I wasn't going anywhere. I've heard about miles-per-gallon. So no miles, no gallons. Dad needs to get a clue!

3. If you not doing carts ...you are bagging or helping out.. - Wrong again, Dad. I was cooling off in the car. Geez!​

-ERD50

 

[RE2Boys]

Ray,

Just part of being a parent, educating the young......and you assumed that he understood why goofing off was not a good idea......but he may not have understood the potential consequences as viewed by an employer.

My wife took on the job of manager of a local cold treat place (why, I'm not sure, not need the money but she enjoys the challenge of organizing anything whether PTA fundraiser or whatever) and is constantly having to train and supervise 14-21 year old kids. Some kids catch on quick regarding responsibility and how an employer views their "efforts", and some are just slow learners.....this w*rking to meet the employer expectations is all new to them.

One son recently took a placement test for determining what college math course to start with. Got a 73 (needed a 75) so was going to be assigned into a remedial course. This is a kid who took honors calc his senior year. He was just going to accept it. I pointed out that he would be out of sequence in math and if needed to catch up, it'd be a thousand dollar summer course. The school offered an online review course and re-test opportunities. Finally convinced him it would be a good idea to take the ten hours online and retest.....upped his grade to 86 and will avoid the remedial course. Turns out he was rusty with logs and practical aspect of trig. But I was fit to be tied that he wasn't willing to invest the 10 hours.