Living an hour from work?

I drive 84 miles round trip everyday. All hiway miles, only one stop light. It takes about 45 minutes going in at 5:00. a.m. Coming home is a crap shoot. It can take anywhere from the same 45 minutes to 3 hours... I really hate it now, can't believe I've been doing this for almost 30 freaking years... I can't even begin to calculate the time I've wasted setting behind that steering wheel...

ATC Guy said:

.....Don't get me wrong, there are other areas we would consider living but both are about a 35 minute drive to work. The way I look at it, we get our dream location for an extra 15 minutes each way. My wife does not currently work, so it would only be me doing the commute. I used to have a 45 minute communte each way and felt the drive helped me relax after work before getting home. Also, with family in town, it would be easier for her to pickup some work as well.

What do you guys think? Did anyway else commute almost an hour by choice? I'm a little worried it may get old after a while. Just looking for other opinions to help us decide on what to do here.

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I don't perceive the difference between a 35 minute commute at your second choice and a 50 minute commute from your dream location to be sufficiently different to forgo your dream location. Actually, the long commute sounds like a great opportunity to justify getting a nice set of wheels for the commute that will make the commute more enjoyable.

Around here, you trade a long commute for an affordable house. For many years, I commuted into NYC on the train. It took me 2 hrs door-to-door, one-way,or 4 hours of commuting every day. As Sarah said earlier, it really takes the life out of you to spend that much time commuting. For the past several years, my commute has been a one hour drive each way (if there are no traffic accidents). Still long by most standards, but a veritable lifesaver compared to years past.

Go for the home life preference. I did a 90 minute commute (1 way) for 15 years - you'll find ways to use the time in the car.

You say it is a 50 minute commute on highway roads, what about winter driving? Will that alter the commute time?

I spent 4 years commuting 45-50 minutes one way on good days, but many days were not good and it took much longer. I also worked long hours and it meant I left in the morning before the family woke up, and by the time I got home I had about an hour of time with the kids before they went to bed.

I accepted the commute because my employer was in a high crime area of a big city. We chose a suburb with great schools and idyllic neighborhoods for the kids. They loved it, but I lived almost a completely separate life from my family. After awhile I came to loathe the commute, but accepted it as a necessary evil because of the benefits afforded to my family.

You have to weigh your personal costs for you and your family against the benefits that you think you will gain against the other alternatives that you might have. It's an incredibly personnel choice. I gave my family a high quality of life, but at the same time I was largely absent from it.

Sarah in SC said:

I have an hour commute, partly on rural roads and then some heavy congestion in town. It is killing me. I've been doing it over 10 years and it has really started wearing me down on both ends of the day.
Not really any other option for me but to suck it up, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. That's a long time to spend in the car each and every day, I can tell you.

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+1

heeyy_joe said:

Go for the home life preference. I did a 90 minute commute (1 way) for 15 years - you'll find ways to use the time in the car.

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If it's heavy traffic, then most of us really need to focus and cant spend concentration on French tapes or something. I've never been able to optimize my traffic sitting.

In the past eight years, I've been rear ended twice and rear ended someone else. I reckon I average passing three fender benders each day. Hopefully only 3-5 years to go.

I've driven an hour to work for over 26 years. That's a combination of traffic and a long distance. I can make the journey in 40 minutes on the weekend without traffic.

I pass the time listening to sports talk radio usually. For years it did not bother me that bad and I knew my family enjoyed the place we live. But now it gets very old and I'm pretty sick of it. Seems traffic gets worse every year. When it rains my trip expands to 1.5 hours. Alternate routes are all clogged up.

Look forward to kissing the daily commute bye bye. But I'm glad my family has enjoyed our suburb where we live.

I'd recommend giving it a go for a while. Guess you can change if you hate it. At least you don't have traffic to deal with. That's what usually frustrates me the most. Too bad everyone doesn't drive as good as me .

Muir


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

Since I started a "real job", I've never had a compute > 15 minutes on a good day (bad days are blizzards, torrential rainfall closing streets and tornadoes downing trees). Bad days are few and far between (every year or so).

Before that, I was a young (19-24) farmer. I sometimes (at seeding time) got off the tractor at 10:00 PM, drove 1.25 hr to GFs place. Spent part of the night and was back on the tractor at 05:00 AM. I might have done this for 4 days straight. Ain't hormones wonderful?

Would I do it for the foreseeable future? Would I stick thorns in my eyes?

This thread reminds me of a location I was assigned to for a few mo. On a task force of 10. Far end of the city, 41 miles one way for me, 59 miles for one of the supervisors.

One guy lived 5 minutes from this office.

We all had Nextel push to talk phones, with group contact feature.

4 pm on a Friday , most of us were just starting the commute from hell on the way home." Mr. 5 minutes from the office " hits us all , wants us to listen to" 2 strange noises at his house". First noise sounded like a garage door opener , second noise , beer can opening

I moved frequently in the military, and my commuting time varied from 10 minutes to as much as 70 minutes (on a normal day). Anything over about 30 minutes was pure torture for me.

My Mom and stepdad moved down to Southern Maryland back in 1989, and did the long commute thing for awhile. They moved down there because you could get more house/land for your money. Over time, it's grown up down there and gotten more congested, so I'm sure the commute times have gotten longer. They were commuting together, with my stepdad dropping Mom off at her job and then going on into his job. Total commute was around 130 miles, round trip.


They did that jig for about 22 years. Mom retired in 2011 and my stepdad took an early-out a few months later. They seemed to get through it okay, but I know I wouldn't want to do it! The longest commute I ever had was maybe 30-35 minutes, and for the last 11 1/2 years, my commute has been 4 miles or less (took a different job position that moved me 2.5 miles from home about 4 1/2 years ago).


I guess I took more after my grandparents. Grandmom worked at Glenn Dale Hospital, about 2 miles away, and Granddad worked at a government farm/plant introduction station, which was slightly closer. Both are closed down now, and gradually returning to nature. I've heard stories about how Grandmom and her friends would come home on their lunch break to watch "The Young and the Restless". That was probably a big deal at the time...I guess these days if you want to watch something on your lunch break, you just stream it on your phone or computer or whatever.

I've been making a 45-50 minute commute (each way) for 17 years now. Mine is mostly interstate cruise control driving between two cities so low on traffic issues, except when there is major construction going on. My family, friends, and after work activities are all in the community where I live so my choices were either to drive to work everyday, or drive to play at night and on the weekends. I've chosen the commute. By the time I get home, get in some exercise, get cleaned up and grab something to eat, it's usually about 7:00. Bedtime for me is 9:30ish, so 2.5 hours of downtime at night.

As others have posted, it is a time suck that is difficult to obtain any value from besides the paycheck. I listen to NPR to stay current on the national news. For 5 years I carpooled with a coworker and that really helped. We lived close enough to pick each other up so our cars stayed in the garage and I could nap on alternate days. We were very compatible and I think a two person carpool is the ideal number, if you can swing it.

About two years ago they moved our team to a location that was ~20 minutes further away. The extra distance also involved city traffic and many more stop lights. It was the worst. After 16 years in the same division, I took another job (still with megacorp) to get my commute back to what it was before so there is a limit to what I would put up with. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was putting in an extra 40 minutes a day for the same paycheck I was getting prior to the move.

In the past 5 years, working from home has gotten a lot easier (technology and flexible bosses), so I no longer have to drive if the roads are really bad. Also, I regularly work from home on Fridays, which is a great help. I've looked into finding a job in my home community, but my megacorp gig pays too well and I'm close enough to the finish line that I plan to hang on until I hit my number.

The OP mentioned a 52 mile commute which translates to more than an hour door to door in my experience. That's 2 hours a day so I'm in the camp that says rent if you can to try this out before you resettle your family.

ATC Guy said:

I where both families (my wife and my own) live. We haven't lived close to family in the last 5 years and it would be really nice to be that close to help with our 1 year old (and we have one on the way).
...
Don't get me wrong, there are other areas we would consider living but both are about a 35 minute drive to work. The way I look at it, we get our dream location for an extra 15 minutes each way. My wife does not currently work, so it would only be me doing the commute. I used to have a 45 minute communte each way and felt the drive helped me relax after work before getting home. Also, with family in town, it would be easier for her to pickup some work as well.

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OP - you haven't clarified my question about daycare - will someone be dropping off the kids at one of their grandparents' houses each day (or will grandparents be coming over to watch them)? If so, how much would the drive be from your current location to their house, vs in your "dream" location? Someone's got to make that drive, and it would probably be a longer drive to the grandparents' house than your extra commute to work. Especially if the wife will pick up a job.

So it sounds like it could actually be a net time decrease if you factor in dropping off the kids each day at the relatives' houses.

Gumby said:

Around here, you trade a long commute for an affordable house. For many years, I commuted into NYC on the train. It took me 2 hrs door-to-door, one-way,or 4 hours of commuting every day. As Sarah said earlier, it really takes the life out of you to spend that much time commuting. For the past several years, my commute has been a one hour drive each way (if there are no traffic accidents). Still long by most standards, but a veritable lifesaver compared to years past.

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I worked in NYC or nearby for all 23 years I worked and commuted from Long Island on the LIRR nearly all of that time. I took the trains to work because driving to NYC was unthinkable. I was happy to be able to reduce my one-way commute to an hour early in my commuting years and not have to change LIRR trains before switching to the subway at either Brooklyn or Penn Station. At least I didn't have to use my car to drive to the station and have to deal with parking at the station, starting with my third year of commuting.

When my company moved from lower Manhattan to Jersey City, New Jersey in early 2001, my commute worsened. Having to use the PATH trains added about 10-15 minutes to the commute each way, and switching to using the PATH trains was a longer and more tiring switch.

The commute was the #1, #2, and #3 reasons for my ERing in 2008. And I reduced my commute to only 2 days a week and it was still terrible. Back in the 1990s and late 1980s, the commute was usually peaceful. But once those annoying cell phones became more commonplace after 2000, trying to grab a snooze (or even not) became less and less possible because a few rude, loud cell phone yakkers could spoil the trip for everyone in the train car.

Lakewood90712 said:

This thread reminds me of a location I was assigned to for a few mo. On a task force of 10. Far end of the city, 41 miles one way for me, 59 miles for one of the supervisors.

One guy lived 5 minutes from this office.

We all had Nextel push to talk phones, with group contact feature.

4 pm on a Friday , most of us were just starting the commute from hell on the way home." Mr. 5 minutes from the office " hits us all , wants us to listen to" 2 strange noises at his house". First noise sounded like a garage door opener , second noise , beer can opening

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Wow!! Did they ever find his body?

I don't understand why anyone would live so far away from work for an extended amount of time. I lived less than 10 miles from work for all but a few months. 4 years I lived 9 miles from work and that seemed like it was pushing it in the winter. 10 miles would definitely be my limit. After that I would have to quickly find a new home or a new job. Now i'm self employed and drive less than 50 days a year for work.

My commute times/distances varied greatly, my thoughts on each.

1) New Orleans (4 years) - 45 minutes on the bus - acceptable, but not great. Occasionally ran the 7 miles home just as fast as the bus would get me there - that was more acceptable.
2) Houston (1 year) - 30 minute bicycle ride to office - I was young and stupid, but it was worth it to be the only bicycle rider at an oil company office.
3) Grad school (4 years) - 1.5 mile walk - heavenly, even in the Iowa winter.
4) 1st teaching job (5 years) - For 3 years of this I walked a mile - fantastic, even though I had to turn down offers of rides, day after day. For 2 years I also taught one period each day at another school district 10 miles away. Aggravating because I had to drive the 1 mile to my school and then dash out and back to the other during the middle of the day. The worst part was always feeling rushed.
5) 2nd teaching job (1 year) - 57 mile commute that took 57 minutes, all rural secondary roads. I found this marginally acceptable in the morning because I could do my day's planning in my head. The ride home felt interminable, however. I could not imagine doing this for more than a couple of years, tops.
6) 3rd teaching job (8 years) - 2 mile bicycle ride to work, then 2 miles from work to the golf course after school. A commute can't get better than that.
6) DC job - 4-7 mile bicycle ride or 30-45 minutes on the bus/metro. Biking was great and metro/bus time could be put to good use.

As everyone says - it depends on how YOU feel about the time you spend in the car. However, it seems to me that an overwhelming number of people have responded with how much they hated their commutes. I would also be in that camp.

Commute = unpaid overtime.

I live 1.5 miles from the office.

Calico said:

Wow!! Did they ever find his body?

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Na , Killin is too good for him. He has got it worse, has to keep working at least 10 more years.

Lakewood90712 said:

Na , Killin is too good for him. He has got it worse, has to keep working at least 10 more years.

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I did a long commute of the miles = minutes variety for a year or two and hated it. It's the antithesis of what FIRE is about for many of us -- control and flexibility of one's own time. It's also like taking a pay rate cut of 20%. Plus roughly $250/week of car-related expenses (using $.50/mile). And if you're going to spend that much time in the car, you may want a nicer and more comfortable car which just adds to the expense and hassle.

Never again.

ATC Guy said:

What do you guys think? Did anyway else commute almost an hour by choice? I'm a little worried it may get old after a while. Just looking for other opinions to help us decide on what to do here.

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when I had an hour commute (Houston, late 80s) I wanted to slit my wrists so I moved close in

to each his own I guess

In my 32 years of w*rking, I had a 30 minute or less commute for all but 5 years. For 5 years in my mid 50's, I had a hour, 15 minute commute that was 30 minutes of walking and the rest on the train. This was about as low stress as a long commute could be (always had a seat, could read or talk to a co-worker on the train). I still was very glad to be done with it. I was away from the house for 12 hours a day (long hours at work + 2 1/2 hours commuting) and had no energy to do anything except eat and then collapse in front of the TV when I got home. I did this for 5 years with a known end date. I would not have done it when the kids were young or if I didn't think it was temporary.

I strongly recommend that you rent for 6 months before locking yourself into a long commute. Its been my experience that jobs always suck more time than you think they will when you start and commutes also take longer. You may find that you never see your children during the week or that you're too tired to interact with them when you do.

In my experience, shaving 20 minutes off an hour commute makes a huge difference. Are there any acceptable places to live that are 20 minutes towards work from your relatives and the town you grew up in? Having grandma drive 20 minutes 2-3 times a week on off hours to see the kids is much less of a sacrifice than locking yourself into an hour commute 5 times a day during rush hour.

Ah memories! I used to hate my 1 hour commute each way whenever the job was tough sledding, but I didn't mind it when I was looking forward to being there. And I remember some days on the way home I'd be soooo tired I'd have to pull over and have a nap. Never could find a good job closer than one hour from home.