Interesting suggestion. My first inclination was to describe how, no, we knew what needed to be done and it was just a matter of executing an appropriate plan (hey, I's an engineer!). On second thought, perhaps a third party who could outline the reasons and confront her with her true needs (and ours) might be helpful; to us if not her anyway. I'd like to think the brother in law could fulfill that role but that's wishful thinking, both DW and I know that. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. In the past I have looked at all the local senior services sites on line and it seems the vast majority are dedicated to helping seniors remain in homes; homes of their own. I'm sure the assisted care destination would have some suggestions.
Meanwhile we're pretty excited that a) DD, SIL and 4 grandchildren coming for a 10 day visit from London. Then this am son and fiancee called from Africa to let us know they're expecting first child. So it's sort of put a happy glaze on the home front here!