Not my circus, not my monkey

[aja8888]

I should try this passing the monkey back system on my wife sometime and see how that works out.

 

[CardsFan]

I should try this passing the monkey back system on my wife sometime and see how that works out.

Don't hold your breath on that one.

And be prepared to duck

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Yes Bill Oncken was famous for his entertaining pitches about the management monkeys. The series was called Managing Management Time.

One of my favorite parts of the movie, "Office Space" was a whiteboard in one of the scenes that had "Planning to Plan" on it with a quite the flowchart.

Edit...attached.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

In my w*rk world, monkeys were something we had (or were placed) on our backs.

What other Megacorp buzzwords did YOU use? Ever play Buzzword Bingo at a meeting?

Not a list per se, but Weird Al did a good job of putting it to a classic tune!

 

[jollystomper]

I have been using the acronym NMCNMM in a few work emails lately, to see if anyone can figure it out. A few have, and find it hilarious.

 

[JoeWras]

One of my favorite parts of the movie, "Office Space" was a whiteboard in one of the scenes that had "Planning to Plan" on it with a quite the flowchart.

Edit...attached.

Sadly, I've been to meetings with the title "Plan for a Plan". No joke.

When I discovered this board 6 odd years ago, Megacorp seemed to want to have everyone ring-lead everyone else's circus. This was depressing and put me into thoughts of retirement. Once I realized I was near FI, I let others ring-lead the circuses. It seems some let out the monkeys intentionally so they can round them up and play ringleader hero. They create their own circuses. This is rewarded.

I've learned great calm since then and watch the circuses go by.

I never knew this phrase, but it may become my motto. Love it!

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Sadly, I've been to meetings with the title "Plan for a Plan". No joke.

When I discovered this board 6 odd years ago, Megacorp seemed to want to have everyone ring-lead everyone else's circus. This was depressing and put me into thoughts of retirement. Once I realized I was near FI, I let others ring-lead the circuses. It seems some let out the monkeys intentionally so they can round them up and play ringleader hero. They create their own circuses. This is rewarded.

I've learned great calm since then and watch the circuses go by.

I never knew this phrase, but it may become my motto. Love it!

When I did a Google image search for the screen shot from the movie, there were a LOT of pictures of corporate whiteboards that had ACTUAL flow charts/lists/etc. that were mirroring the corporate BS so many of us hate. At first it gave me chills seeing them, but then I remember I am retired so I chuckled and took a nap.

 

[Clone]

What other Megacorp buzzwords did YOU use? Ever play Buzzword Bingo at a meeting?

I would enjoy networking some time to strategize how we might prioritize our synergies. But for right now, it's not in my swim lane.

 

[CardsFan]

In my w*rk world, monkeys were something we had (or were placed) on our backs.

What other Megacorp buzzwords did YOU use? Ever play Buzzword Bingo at a meeting?

Now that I am retired, I am soooooo glad I never have to hear the comment "Why don't you reach out to XYZ"

What I always wanted to say was "I don't reach out to people. I call them, talk to them, send them a letter or email. If I reach out it will be to wring your neck the next you say reach out"

 

[JoeWras]

I would enjoy networking some time to strategize how we might prioritize our synergies. But for right now, it's not in my swim lane.

I want to just reach out to you and thank you for that laser focused reply.

 

[Carpediem]

Now that I am retired, I am soooooo glad I never have to hear the comment "Why don't you reach out to XYZ"

What I always wanted to say was "I don't reach out to people. I call them, talk to them, send them a letter or email. If I reach out it will be to wring your neck the next you say reach out"

I hate “why don’t you ping XYZ”. Like you said, I don’t PING people.

 

[Chuckanut]

My last decade at megac*rp was in project management. I thought once I had retired a few months, I would want to do some consulting. 4 months into retirement, and the thought of returning, even if only for one-off projects, is almost nauseating. And, I'm glad for that. My time at the local soup kitchen is much more rewarding and I work with better people.

Yep. I agree.

I have the occasional [-]nightmare[/-] dream where I am back at work. When I wake from it I am so very HAPPY.

 

[flyingaway]

I love that proverb!

Like you, I retired at 61 when I'd planned to retire at 65. No severance package but politics got ugly and I looked at the numbers and pulled the plug. That was May, 2014. Sometimes I can't believe that if I were on my original plan I still wouldn't be retired!

This year I went to a meeting of my professional society for the first time since retirement. It was in Toronto, a favorite city of mine, so I figured it was a good excuse. Besides, my field (property-casualty insurance) is still interesting to me and my son works in it as a claims adjuster. It was interesting- lots of new faces, of course, and many who were into rainmaking barely gave me the time of day- I can't bring them business or hire them as a consultant and my contacts, although extensive, are stale. Still plenty of people I was happy to see.

Last month a meeting of a regional affiliate of the society was held in Des Moines, where DS and his family live. No-brainer- I went there. I had a great time- two women with whom I'd worked and whom I still liked immensely were there and we enjoyed catching up, and left with hugs. Weasel ex-boss was not there. Yay! People close to my age expressed friendly jealousy that I was retired already and enjoying life. Some, when they found I wasn't in any sort of consulting, were incredulous that I was even there. I just explained that the insurance business was still one of many things that interested me.

Oh, yeah- the society has a meeting in Honolulu in November, 2019.

Still, when the hurricanes hit TX and FL, I was really glad my income no longer depended on company profitability.

I am only semi-retired and I have not attended professional conferences for many years. I don't have common interests with them. They like to talk about funding, papers, and academic status, etc., I now like to talk about travel, personal finance, etc.

 

[omni550]

I am only semi-retired and I have not attended professional conferences for many years. I don't have common interests with them. They like to talk about funding, papers, and academic status, etc., I now like to talk about travel, personal finance, etc.

That's a major reason why I enjoy this forum!

omni

 

[aja8888]

I am only semi-retired and I have not attended professional conferences for many years. I don't have common interests with them. They like to talk about funding, papers, and academic status, etc., I now like to talk about travel, personal finance, etc.

I gave up going to professional conferences when I had to start paying for them myself.

 

[OHjosh]

Yesterday I met with the guy who took over for me in my last job. It made me appreciate the wisdom of GETTING OUT OF THERE. And I wonder, how did I ever do that job with an hour commute and a sick mom?

 

[pb4uski]

....Another one, I think I first heard it when DW was watching Dr Phil on TV is "I don't have a dog in that fight". ....

Was Michael Vick the guest that day?

 

[rodi]

You never had to segue into new paradigms?

Not to mention leveraging the synergistic relationships to improve deliverables and help define strategic relationships and corporate roles. And we all need to strive to be thought leaders.

Ugh.

I like the not my monkey motto. I hadn't heard it before.

 

[mistermike40]

Was Michael Vick the guest that day?

Snap!

 

[JoeWras]

rodi: that's scary. Oh my goodness. You nailed it.

 

[foxfirev5]

Now that I am retired, I am soooooo glad I never have to hear the comment "Why don't you reach out to XYZ"

What I always wanted to say was "I don't reach out to people. I call them, talk to them, send them a letter or email. If I reach out it will be to wring your neck the next you say reach out"

My circle of corporate shills went through the "reach out " phase prior to my retirement last year. It made me want to scream. One day my boss called and made the request. I shot back with " Reach out to them!? They're salespeople! They are the one's that should be reaching out! If the dumb***es can't call me they'll never make it anyway."

One of those defining moments.

 

[CaptTom]

I was on a boat the other day with a couple retired guys, and one working stiff. The WS got a phone call he had to take and went below, but we still caught snippets of the conversation.

Wish I had my Buzzword Bingo card, I could have won!

It is amazing how quickly you can slide into that manner of speaking. And how quickly you can leave it behind

 

[Scuba]

When I did a Google image search for the screen shot from the movie, there were a LOT of pictures of corporate whiteboards that had ACTUAL flow charts/lists/etc. that were mirroring the corporate BS so many of us hate. At first it gave me chills seeing them, but then I remember I am retired so I chuckled and took a nap.

[emoji23]

 

[Scuba]

I am only semi-retired and I have not attended professional conferences for many years. I don't have common interests with them. They like to talk about funding, papers, and academic status, etc., I now like to talk about travel, personal finance, etc.

I felt this way quite often even when I was still working. I was the person at conferences or business dinners asking people about their families, vacations, or hobbies. I was probably the exception but I enjoyed those topics more and felt it helped to build relationships.

 

[athena53]

I felt this way quite often even when I was still working. I was the person at conferences or business dinners asking people about their families, vacations, or hobbies. I was probably the exception but I enjoyed those topics more and felt it helped to build relationships.

I agree. I once worked for a sub of a company I'll call Giant Enterprise and I was in a business where we had to be VERY careful about any discussions with competitors that might look like price collusion. We knew this, of course- before every Society meeting they read us a notice and it was included in the programs. One of the corporate auditors told me I needed to fill in an on-line form every time I had a conversation with a competitor at these meetings. I asked her, "So you need me to fill out a form if I see pictures of someone's grandchildren?" She went away.

On the subject of jargon- I'm still active in Toastmasters and my Club meets every week at a local corporate HQ. Typically when I pass by other conference rooms on my way to the meetings I see PowerPoint stuff on the screens and a room full of people trying to look interested. SO happy I'm done with that.