High cost of Weddings

[ivinsfan]

Mine as well, and the armchair psychologist in me has often wondered if in these cases the Bride (and maybe her family?) get so excited about the gala event that will be The Wedding Day, that it takes over the part of the brain that should be evaluating what the next 20 years might be like.

These two things do not need to be mutually exclusive....I'm not sure why lots of people seem to think they are. I know several couples married by a justice of the peace or at a courthouse that are divorced.

 

[brett]

Bottom line is that weddings can cost as little or as much as the couple decides.

People who complain about the cost should simply spend less. It is not rocket science. The decision to buy a $5,000. wedding gown or book a hotel ballroom is strictly an option, not a necessity.

What astounds us is when we hear of people actually going in to debt to splash out on a wedding that they cannot afford and will take years to pay off.

 

[Major Tom]

Living together produces all sorts of surprises. In our case, they were all good surprises but many are not.

The last time I lived with a partner was 25 years ago. I now have little concept of what it would be like to share the same living space with someone. If I were ever to come across a person with whom I could enjoyably cohabit, it would be quite the revelation.

To everyone who has lived with the same person for many years, and who still enjoys doing so - more power to you. I take my hat off to you, and am glad there are people who truly enjoy living together. I have a feeling I'm going to be cohabiting with just my cats for the rest of my life. Their company never gets old

I cannot understand why one would get married only to get divorced a few months/year later. Did you not know what you were getting into? Did you not know the person before you said "I do." Were you in it just for the wedding day/honeymoon trip?

Love is blind, as they say - or at least, that first flush of feelings is, and it's surprising how much we can continue to fool ourselves once that initial stage of infatuation has calmed down. It's pretty easy to understand if you think about it.

 

[Amethyst]

+1

Bottom line is that weddings can cost as little or as much as the couple decides.

People who complain about the cost should simply spend less. It is not rocket science. The decision to buy a $5,000. wedding gown or book a hotel ballroom is strictly an option, not a necessity.

What astounds us is when we hear of people actually going in to debt to splash out on a wedding that they cannot afford and will take years to pay off.

 

[ransil]

I’ve often thought there was an inverse correlation between the cost of a wedding and the length of the marriage.

same here..
I have less than $200 in mine, includes the rings +30 years at the moment

 

[jollystomper]

Has anyone discussed these quick failure marriages with any who have been through it?

My brothers business partner (they are doctors) left his fiancee at the altar to avoid, in his view, what would have been a very short marriage. His blunt explanation was "once we got engaged the sex started to decline and the demands started to increase".

He was the one actually paying for much of the wedding, but his fiancee started pushing him to cover more and more of the costs (e.g. hotel rooms and tab for her family and friends though they were less than 2 hours away) and making all of these plans that, in his mind, seemed to revolve around her being in "Real Housewives of <wherever>" mode.

The morning of his wedding it hit him that he did not want to spend his married life in this situation... and rather than things potentially ending in six months, he decided not to go through with it and just did not show up for the wedding.

He probably spent close to $20K, but he felt it was a small price to pay to avoid a marriage that would be bad from the start.

 

[6miths]

Yes the 20K 'settlement' was probably money well spent in his case. It is interesting that he was able to have the insight that things were not going in the right direction. I would suspect that this is rare by the time things get to that stage.

 

[Moemg]

In the case of my SO's son all the women in the family saw the potential disaster right away but it took his brothers longer .We should have said something but we all thought maybe we were wrong . She is a pretty girl ,very intelligent but extremely aggressive .

 

[Teacher Terry]

I would not have paid for a expensive wedding to begin with. I would have given them a small check to go towards the cost. Fancy weddings are such a huge waste.

 

[haha]

They started dating late summer 2016 and they were talking marriage by fall 2016 . She basically wanted to get married .I am not sure she cared to who as long as he was a professional. On his part all his friends were married and she pursued him like crazy . From day one it was all about the wedding not the relationship .

When I feel in love, I hoped I could be married at the LA County Courthouse. Fiancee's family was religious, and they wanted and paid for a church wedding. I thought that was fine, but since I am now a marriage-phobe, I will never satisfy my wedding dream of LA county courthouse, followed by dinner at Musso and Frank. Also, though we did eventually divorce, it wasn't due to any of her faults. I had plenty to provide the needed faults all by myself. Growing up in a large catholic extended family, I saw many weddings. I enjoyed the little sandwiches and even the caviar at the receptions as well as the waiters with unlimited Cokes, but I think I mostly felt sorry for the groom. I already realized that no only did one not need to be married to have sex, but even worse, that being married really did not in any way guarantee much sex. One of my cousins is football defense coordinator at a big RC high school. If one of his players tells him he wants to get married, cousin says, What's the matter, you getting too much sex?

Lately I have been trying to improve my relationship worthiness, but not too much. As we say around this board, moderation in all things!

Ha

 

[RobbieB]

Menu for my wedding;

Cocktail Hour
Charcuterie & Cheeses Portobello Mushroom Fries Fat Boy Ranch Dipping Sauce

At The Table
Appetizers
Maine Lobster Rangoon Cream Cheese, Green Onion & Cilantro Sweet & Sour Apple Sauce
Beef Tenderloin Carpaccio Shaved Tenderloin, Dijon Aioli, Caper Berry, Arugula & Chopped Egg ~

Entree choice;
White Peach & Sunflower Seed Salad Heritage Blend Greens, Red & Green Onion Citrus Vinaigrette ~
Choice of Herb Crusted Chicken Cutlet Focaccia Crusted Boneless Thigh Arugula, Red & Green Onion, Parmesan, Spicy Aoili
Prosciutto Wrapped Line Caught Rock Fish Peeled Asparagus & Whipped Potato Pan Butter Sauce, Fresh Herbs & Lemon Zest
Whole Roasted Creekstone Natural Angus Steak Truffled Seasoned Fries & Sautéed Spinach
”Ground Beef” Meatless Bolognaise Zucchini “Noodles”, San Marzano Tomato Sauce, Garlic, Shallots, & Fresh Herbs (Vegan)

Plus sides for the table: Mac N Cheese & Bowls of Bacon ~

Dessert Sampler Platters
Strawberries & Cream Whipped Cream,
Brown Sugar S’mores Graham Cracker Crust, Ghirardelli Chocolate, Marshmallow Cinnamon
Sugar Doughnuts Vanilla Bourbon Dipping Sauce

 

[Mmm Rrr]

Menu for my wedding;

Cocktail Hour
Charcuterie & Cheeses Portobello Mushroom Fries Fat Boy Ranch Dipping Sauce

At The Table
Appetizers
Maine Lobster Rangoon Cream Cheese, Green Onion & Cilantro Sweet & Sour Apple Sauce
Beef Tenderloin Carpaccio Shaved Tenderloin, Dijon Aioli, Caper Berry, Arugula & Chopped Egg ~

Entree choice;
White Peach & Sunflower Seed Salad Heritage Blend Greens, Red & Green Onion Citrus Vinaigrette ~
Choice of Herb Crusted Chicken Cutlet Focaccia Crusted Boneless Thigh Arugula, Red & Green Onion, Parmesan, Spicy Aoili
Prosciutto Wrapped Line Caught Rock Fish Peeled Asparagus & Whipped Potato Pan Butter Sauce, Fresh Herbs & Lemon Zest
Whole Roasted Creekstone Natural Angus Steak Truffled Seasoned Fries & Sautéed Spinach
”Ground Beef” Meatless Bolognaise Zucchini “Noodles”, San Marzano Tomato Sauce, Garlic, Shallots, & Fresh Herbs (Vegan)

Plus sides for the table: Mac N Cheese & Bowls of Bacon ~

Dessert Sampler Platters
Strawberries & Cream Whipped Cream,
Brown Sugar S’mores Graham Cracker Crust, Ghirardelli Chocolate, Marshmallow Cinnamon
Sugar Doughnuts Vanilla Bourbon Dipping Sauce

hmmmm I sat down to read this with my microwaved Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Mac and Cheese. Thanks a lot!

 

[Moemg]

I would not have paid for a expensive wedding to begin with. I would have given them a small check to go towards the cost. Fancy weddings are such a huge waste.

I actually like weddings .I like the really unique ones that really are like the couple . I went to a wedding in a amusement park , a vegetarian wedding ,several second and third weddings.My So's sons wedding was lovely but a bit strange .It really is sad that it ended this way .

 

[ivinsfan]

Great menu RobbieB, I'm very happy for you and your bride to be. It's seems like you went through some rough times, kudos to you for finding happiness again.


I'd definitely go for the beef....

 

[ivinsfan]

I would not have paid for a expensive wedding to begin with. I would have given them a small check to go towards the cost. Fancy weddings are such a huge waste.

It's all in the eye of the spender...it might not be how you would spend your money.

 

[RobbieB]

Great menu RobbieB, I'm very happy for you and your bride to be. It's seems like you went through some rough times, kudos to you for finding happiness again.


I'd definitely go for the beef....

Thanks! We rented out a restaurant in San Francisco. I'm going for the fish and the raw beef -

Bowls of bacon and mac & cheese...how cool is that -

 

[Souschef]

We sent postcards to our families with this note

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]We Eloped ![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]November 4, 2007[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]On the beautiful Greek island of[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Santorini. Vows were exchanged [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] on the veranda of the chapel of [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]St. Irene, overlooking the [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Aegean Sea. As our friends [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and family, we know you share [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]our joy in finding happiness again.[/FONT]

 

[RobbieB]

We ended up with 32 guests (10 were limo'ed there and back 60 miles) 2 nights at the Cyril Magnin suite at the Mark Hopkins and an open bar 5 course meal at a small local restaurant.

So far we have all raves. Nice. I'm now known as the "Party King"

And all for only 12 grand!

 

[audreyh1]

We ended up with 32 guests (10 were limo'ed there and back 60 miles) 2 nights at the Cyril Magnin suite at the Mark Hopkins and an open bar 5 course meal at a small local restaurant.

So far we have all raves. Nice. I'm now known as the "Party King"

And all for only 12 grand!

Congrats!

 

[NW-Bound]

Money well spent if you, your bride, and the guests all have a good time.

 

[Scrapr]

Party on Garth!

 

[RobbieB]

Oooups, forgot the photographer, $13,500

 

[pacergal]

Congratulations, RobbieB!

 

[Dtail]

Keep blowing that dough.

 

[audreyh1]

Oooups, forgot the photographer, $13,500

Whoops!