Attending a funeral today

[Taxman59]

3 years ago, one of my bosses/ friends retired the day before I did. He was 68 years old, a cancer survivor, had loved his job for 40 years. He was one of the good guys. He had expected to stay on as the chairman of the real estate arm, but family politics caused a bitter "divorce". He spent the first 12-18 months fighting for the benefits that he was due, and the last 18 months fighting death (not cancer, though that probably weakened his system). In all, his "retirement" was a few months in-between the battles.

He enjoyed life, and I rarely saw him not in a good mood (though after retirement, he was always less than happy). If it wasn't for his love of his job . . .

My note to all those who are on the fence, time and happiness outweigh money. Over a year spent fighting over money that he won't ever spend, family bridges burned that never will be rebuilt, a long and distinguished career (both as a businessman and a family uniter) that will be remembered by many for the way it ended over money.

 

[Ronstar]

Thanks for putting things in perspective.

 

[Alan]

3 days ago I attended the funeral of a first cousin of mine. We grew up together in the same small town, were great friends and spent a lot of time together before I left home at age 18. We did keep in touch and I often visited him and his family on trips home from the USA.

He was a great athlete and had been signed by a big pro soccer club (Derby County) but shattered his ankle at age 16 and that was the end of his sporting career.

He was only 2 months younger than myself but a couple of weeks ago his wife found him dead on the kitchen floor from cardiac arrest. He was age 63 and had only been retired a little over 3 years. He is also the first of my or my wife's 1st cousins to die.

 

[MRG]

Sad.

A co-w*rker had just been riffed this spring. Guy had been obese for a long time and had always said he'd lose the weight after his career. He dropped a bunch and was more active. They found him on a trail after he didn't come home. RIP.

 

[SheitlQueen]

My niece's husband just passed away. He was 62 and she is 38. The really terrible thing is he did not provide for his 11 year old daughter. Spent most of his money, and when he retired two years ago took a retirement plan that had no inheritance benefits for others after he died so he could get a higher payment while retired and have more to spend. Left a house in disasterous shape. In other words, make sure to get your own house in order so that your family is not left stranded when you unexpectedly pass on.

 

[Car-Guy]

I didn't go to my first funeral until I was in my mid teens. Then as the years went by, I started going to more and more funerals. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, etc. The numbers seem to have plateaued about the time I hit 60 and now they are becoming far less frequent. The last one I went to was almost two years ago. Not hard to figure out what's happening.

 

[Teacher Terry]

SQ, in the states the spouse has to sign off on the pension decision. Too bad your niece allowed that.

 

[braumeister]

So many stories like this, and I have my share of them too.

It's good to be reminded every once in a while that we have no idea how long we'll be here.

 

[Bestwifeever]

We have one in the next few days.

Man wonders but God decides
When to kill the Prince of Tides.
—Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides

 

[Dtail]

No funerals yet in retirement. Money is nice, but nothing without health.

 

[Jerry1]

When asked why I retired “so soon”, this is the reason. It didn’t take but a few examples in my family of people who left us too soon and either just before or right after retirement. It’s sad to see and I wanted to give myself better odds at some time to live my life on my terms. This forum also helped with that decision and it is often reiterated - time>money.

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

.

My note to all those who are on the fence, time and happiness outweigh money.


That really sums it up nicely.

I am retiring in 4 months. Once in a while I think.....perhaps I should work one more year. Saw 2 classmates pass away in November. Yes, time and happiness do outweigh money.

 

[jazz4cash]

SQ, in the states the spouse has to sign off on the pension decision. Too bad your niece allowed that.

I have a cousin who married a retiree that had already waived his survivor benefit. I think the pension calculation could have been recalculated to restore the survivor benefit within 2 years of the marriage (qualifying event) but that did not happen and now she is in a real bind.

 

[Bamaman]

You only go around once in this world. Grab all the gusto possible as soon as you can because no one knows how long they'll be here.

 

[kevdude]

My main motivations for wanting to retire by 50 were my dad’s death at 54 and my wife’s father’s death at 51. I’m 55 now and DW is 54, our kids are 16 and 14. We married a bit later in life and I wanted to make sure we could enjoy the kids’ school years as much as possible. It’s so nice to be home when they get home and to see them off to school. In a few more years we’ll be empty nesters and will be able to travel as much as we want to. God willing...

 

[broadway]

SQ, in the states the spouse has to sign off on the pension decision. Too bad your niece allowed that.

At my late father's company, the default is 50% survivorship.

To change it to anything else, the wife has to agree on paper.

.

 

[mystang52]

I've mentioned before so it's not a secret, I have an indolent form of leukemia. I don't need treatment, but I am immuno-compromised. In the 5 1/2 years since I ER'd at age 60, I've been sick several times, twice quite seriously. I can't help but wonder how much worse it might have been, including the possibility that I wouldn't be here to write this, if I was still commuting on those crowded trains going to w*rk.

 

[Teacher Terry]

We lost 3 friends between the ages of 59-67.

 

[street]

^ a couple of dozen died in the past couple of years I have known and some of those I would consider close friends. In the late fifties to late 60's.

 

[NYEXPAT]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

 

[Midpack]

So many stories like this, and I have my share of them too.

It's good to be reminded every once in a while that we have no idea how long we'll be here.

Except unless you know otherwise, we have to plan on a long retirement, not the unfortunate exceptions like the OP. The exceptions are sad, but they are exceptions...

 

[joeea]

Except unless you know otherwise, we have to plan on a long retirement, not the unfortunate exceptions like the OP. The exceptions are sad, but they are exceptions...

And it's a mistake to focus on the exceptions.

We read posts here about how a friend of a cousin's grocer died unexpectedly just before retiring - and that motivates some to decide to retire early.

We forget that we don't read about all the people who didn't die just before retiring, all the people who live long, rich lives in retirement.

Plan for the long haul. Retire when your finances indicate you can afford a long retirement.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think you need to balance time versus more money. Studies show that for most people spending goes down as they age because they don’t want to travel anymore, etc.

 

[Hermit]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

DD has all the keys to everythig in my life. I trust her implicitly. Hope she don't "tucket"!

 

[aja8888]

And it's a mistake to focus on the exceptions.

We read posts here about how a friend of a cousin's grocer died unexpectedly just before retiring - and that motivates some to decide to retire early.

We forget that we don't read about all the people who didn't die just before retiring, all the people who live long, rich lives in retirement.

Plan for the long haul. Retire when your finances indicate you can afford a long retirement.

Good advice here.