pb4uski
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Forget a long period of time... how about for the last 3 years? the last 5 years?
Forget a long period of time... how about for the last 3 years? the last 5 years?
I don't know and I doubt that they know, but they said their FA was fantastic and their portfolio grew a lot since the recession. Last I heard was about half a year ago, that their FA believed the market was due for correction so he/she sold substantial of their portfolio and held in cash await to jump back in at the right moment.
.....If I were the OP I would just be clear that I understood that there will be no inheritance but at th same time that my financial plan does not include providing monetary support to the parents should they run out of money and see what happens. .......
The change makes clear that the $$$ will not be there at all to support them, it will not be a case of your "choosing not to support them". I think that's fair. I doubt your plan would/should support any of us here at E-R.org should we squander all our dough!If I were the OP I would just be clear that I understood that there will be no inheritance but at the same time that my financial plan [-]does not include[/-] will not support providing monetary support to the parents should they run out of money and see what happens.
I'm about your age. I often told my parents long before I ever got married that I didn't want kids. Every person I ever dated I was very upfront about it with. Once my spouse and I got married, my parents were shocked, SHOCKED that we weren't going to GIVE them grand kids. They would say extremely hurtful and passive aggressive things to my spouse, to the point where we just pretty much stopped seeing them/talking to them. We might go by on Tgiving or xmas, maybe once or twice a year outside of that.
It took them 10 years before they finally realized the error of their ways and apologized to us both. Too little too late. Like others, I'm sure their comments stem from a dark place that they don't even even realize that they have in their hearts. You're bigger than I am for putting up with it.
My folks likely will need our assistance in retirement w/o substantial lifestyle changes (still working in mid/late 60's). I might throw a couple bucks at them here and there, but that will be the extent of it.
Thank you for your responses so far. It seems easy to say that we are not responsible to support them later on, but it is much harder to do so, especially when have good relationship so far. I don't believe they deliberately trying to make us pay for their elder years, it's just that they are not happy we want to retire early, and not having grand children. It is hard to predict when life will throw a curve ball at you, so if they fall in hardship a decade down the road due to illness, even though they could have ride it out if they keep a healthy saving, we would not be in the right to not help them. To tell them that we won't support them financially will definitely damage our relationship.
Big observation. It takes dedication that cannot be faked or manufactured.Dubb, that’s so sad. I would never jeopardize my relationship with my kids like that. I don’t have a right to be a grandma just because I had 3 kids. People that don’t want kids do not make good parents.
I'm just trying to get my head around a mentality that says: "Oh! You've done well in life and want to retire early? Well if you do that, we're going to deliberately overspend all our money so that you don't get any! (we'll show you!!)".
What's wrong with these people? Is this some sort of jealousy? Quite twisted IMO.
It is highly likely we will leave them some reasonable amount of money, but I do not want them to become dependent on it.
sorry, did I miss this somewhere?
Are they your parents or your spouse's parents? I would suggest the person whose parents they are sit with his/her parents and work this out. IMO the son(or daughter)-in-law is in a no-win situation. The child might be able to break even.
I love your advice. It's always spot on! Thanks!Why would you feel obligated to help them out given they are intentionally doing this to themselves, with fair warning? I mean it's one thing if an elder parent needs some help or never had much, but in your shoes I'd move far away from them, let them know you expect them to plan for their lives and you wish them luck and that's all.
OP why are you inserting yourself into the financial affairs of both sets of parents? It's not your business, just like your finances are not their business. Some boundaries would help all of you.
If one of my kids asked to go over our finances the answer would MYOB. And I never ask them anything about their own finances.
OP, are you sure your parents understand that you don't need the inheritance to retire early? Their reaction makes more sense if they think you are going to use their money to not work anymore.
OP why are you inserting yourself into the financial affairs of both sets of parents? It's not your business, just like your finances are not their business. Some boundaries would help all of you.
If one of my kids asked to go over our finances the answer would MYOB. And I never ask them anything about their own finances.