TromboneAl said:
Wittgenstein: "You can't be cured unless you've had the disease."
Phew, Al, pretty erudite quotation.
Do the other jazz musicians know you can talk like this? Have you ever been thrown out of a surf lineup for wisecracks like that?
My typical ER conversation when "they" run into me:
They: Wow, Nords, I haven't seen you in a few years, what happened to your hair?!? Where are you working now?
Me: I'm retired.
They: I know that, you longhair, I got your announcement, but where are you working since you've retired?
(Note: Those three sentences are almost a ritual exchange between veterans.)
Me: Uh, I'm really retired.
They: Yeah, so where do you work?
Me: Well, I'm really
really retired. I'm not working.
They: Oh, c'mon! You're too young to be put out to pasture like that! Get a haircut and get a job!! I know a friend who has a (contractor's job vacancy)(GS billet opening)(consulting business)...
Me: Thanks, but I'm not interested in, uh, working.
They: Sorry about that, buddy. Call me when you change your mind, I can hook you right up. Because after all, "what would you do all day"?
Me: We're raising a teenager.
They: Yeah, but whaddya
do all day?
Me: Oh, that's right, your 60-hour workweek means you don't spend a lot of time with your kids. Well, we also do a lot of chores, home improvement, surfing, catching up on our reading, spending time with the family, and lazing around. Our kid & I have also taken up tae kwon do. I even volunteered with a non-profit for a few years. I feel like I'm catching up on all the things I didn't have time for when I was working.
They: I'd go crazy! What do you do the next day?
Me: I went surfing three times last week.
They: Surfing, eh? I gotta try that someday.
Me: After you've lived in Hawaii for 20 years that seems like a good idea...
They: Well, I'd go crazy with nothing to do all day like you. Besides, how are you going to get a job when the money runs out?
Me: Er, my pension already pays for the mortgage and the groceries and the utilities. We spend a little out of savings, and that should last until spouse's pension starts up in another 16 years.
They: Yeah, but are you still driving that crappy Taurus? How old was that thing, seven years?
Me: It's almost 13 years old now. But it still runs fine.
They: Man, I'd never be able to live without a nice car. My wife & kids would never let me make those sacrifices to live on a budget.
Me: We don't feel like we're sacrificing anything. We went on a cruise last summer.
They: A cruise, eh? I gotta try that sometime.
Me: There'll be three cruise ships working Hawaii this summer. Last-minute rates are only about $100/day and we can get away whenever school's on break or when Grandma will take care of our kid.
They: Oooh, don't know if I could afford that much.
Me: (Needling a little) We try to do it every year or so to break up the interisland trips or DisneyWorld vacations.
They: Oh, hey, I gotta get back to the office. I just came from a doctor's appointment to sort out my blood pressure & cholesterol prescriptions. The work never lets up and my boss will be pulling
my hair out! Fax me your résumé, OK?
Me: Gosh, I don't have a résumé. I'm retired and I don't want to work. But maybe you and the family could come over for dinner some evening. We'll sit on the back lanai, gaze at the sunset, and I'll show you how we managed to save for early retirement.
They: You're still a big kidder! Well, let me know if you want any help with the job search. Gotta run!!