Best way to get SIL's $$$ to her in nursing home

[ohyes]

Dilemma:

SIL in nursing home 1400 mi away. She received last check from her father's probate ..about $2500.

She does not have a checking account. SIL mailed check to her brother (my husband) while she thought about how to best receive the $$. (As an aside, she was concerned her adult son would get hold of the money and was anxious to get it the money in a safe temporary place.) The money is currently in our checking account ; everybody involved wants the money in SIL's possession soon.

She called DH yesterday to say she would like the money on a pre-paid Visa card. DH told her he does not want to put the card in the US mail.

We need to get this taken care of ASAP. She is frustrated we did not get card in the mail to her this morning. We have no clue what we are doing.

I found pre-paid Visa cards ($500 maximum) that can be mailed from the vendor. We could order cards to equal her money. Is there a better way?

She wants a plastic card - not emailed.

Thank you for your input. DH felt better when I told him I knew of a place to ask for advice.

 

[MichaelB]

Prepaid credit card or gift cards for Target or WalMart work. One option is to get a rechargeable card, add the minimum balance, keep the remainder safe in your bank, and then add more as the SIL requests. That way if it is lost or stolen the total amount isn’t lost.

I’ve had a number of cards go missing in the mail, so when I mail them now I use a priority mail envelope and wrap the card well so it can’t be detected. If the card provider will mail for a small charge, that’s a less expensive option.

Make sure the card has no fees to use and no time limits or fees on the balance. In my experience the gift cards from Target and Walmart have no fees and last forever, and have reloadable options.

 

[RetiredHappy]

You can order Visa debit card or various store cards to be mailed to her directly. The business/vendor sends the cards FedEx overnight priority. They take responsibilty in case the cards go missing.

 

[retire-early]

Dilemma:

SIL in nursing home 1400 mi away. She received last check from her father's probate ..about $2500.

She does not have a checking account. SIL mailed check to her brother (my husband) while she thought about how to best receive the $$. (As an aside, she was concerned her adult son would get hold of the money and was anxious to get it the money in a safe temporary place.) The money is currently in our checking account ; everybody involved wants the money in SIL's possession soon.

She called DH yesterday to say she would like the money on a pre-paid Visa card. DH told her he does not want to put the card in the US mail.

We need to get this taken care of ASAP. She is frustrated we did not get card in the mail to her this morning. We have no clue what we are doing.

I found pre-paid Visa cards ($500 maximum) that can be mailed from the vendor. We could order cards to equal her money. Is there a better way?

She wants a plastic card - not emailed.

Thank you for your input. DH felt better when I told him I knew of a place to ask for advice.

I have several pre-paid VISA cards in my possesion.
They all say NON-RELOADABLE.

Express Mail with insurance?
You can buy insurance, but I don't know if you can insure pre-paid gift cards such as these.

You definitely want a physical card. The VISA eGift cards are harder to use.
I know.

.

 

[ivinsfan]

How do you use a prepaid Visa card in a nursing home? It seems like having cash which don't sound real safe...


Could you get 5 500 dollars cards and mail them as she needs them? I'm sorry she is frustrated but it not as easy as she thinks.
Does the nursing have patient personal accounts, that might be an option?


Or buys the cards and Fed Ex to her..

 

[pb4uski]

How do you use a prepaid Visa card in a nursing home? It seems like having cash which don't sound real safe...

Usually nursing home residents have accounts with the nursing home that function similar to a credit card for incidentals and are billed and settled each month. I wonder if you could call the nursing home office manager, mail them a check for $2,500 and have them credit the $2,500 to her account. And from there is it up to her.

 

[ivinsfan]

Usually nursing home residents have accounts with the nursing home that function similar to a credit card for incidentals and are billed and settled each month. I wonder if you could call the nursing home office manager, mail them a check for $2,500 and have them credit the $2,500 to her account. And from there is it up to her.

That's what I think. MIL used hers to pay for haircuts and such that way. It seems safer.

 

[Franklin]

Usually nursing home residents have accounts with the nursing home that function similar to a credit card for incidentals and are billed and settled each month. I wonder if you could call the nursing home office manager, mail them a check for $2,500 and have them credit the $2,500 to her account. And from there is it up to her.

+1!!!!

 

[CardsFan]

One option is to get a rechargeable card, add the minimum balance, keep the remainder safe in your bank, and then add more as the SIL requests. That way if it is lost or stolen the total amount isn’t lost.

Usually nursing home residents have accounts with the nursing home that function similar to a credit card for incidentals and are billed and settled each month. I wonder if you could call the nursing home office manager, mail them a check for $2,500 and have them credit the $2,500 to her account. And from there is it up to her.

These two options make the most sense to me. Of course, it depends on what SIL wants to do with the money.

 

[finnski1]

Usually nursing home residents have accounts with the nursing home that function similar to a credit card for incidentals and are billed and settled each month. I wonder if you could call the nursing home office manager, mail them a check for $2,500 and have them credit the $2,500 to her account. And from there is it up to her.

That makes a lot of practical sense for every one involved!

 

[Sarah S]

Is there a chance she is being pressured / manipulated by someone? Son, staff another patient or visitor? If she is in a true nursing home ( as opposed to some kind of senior living where she can lock her door) there is no way she should have cash or cash equivalents like visa or gift cards. It is asking for theft. Most people who work in nursing homes are wonderful but in that environment things do go missing If I landed in one even temporarily and had money or other valuables I would immediately ask to have them locked up. Part of my practice at one time was following patients in nursing homes and rehabs Patients did not have a secure place in their rooms for valuables

 

[jollystomper]

Is there a chance she is being pressured / manipulated by someone? Son, staff another patient or visitor? If she is in a true nursing home ( as opposed to some kind of senior living where she can lock her door) there is no way she should have cash or cash equivalents like visa or gift cards. It is asking for theft. Most people who work in nursing homes are wonderful but in that environment things do go missing If I landed in one even temporarily and had money or other valuables I would immediately ask to have them locked up. Part of my practice at one time was following patients in nursing homes and rehabs Patients did not have a secure place in their rooms for valuables

This would be my concern as well, a gift card is as good as cash. That's why so many scams involve gift cards. The nursing home account is the best and insures it is used for here (assuming that is her intent with the money).

 

[ohyes]

Thank you; DH asked me to copy and forward your input to him...which I just sat down to do.

SIL is 72, in nursing home after a major stroke three years ago...very little use of left side. Her mind is sharp.

She is adamant about not wanting the nursing home to know about this money....or that would have been the route we all would have wanted. I have no idea if her fears are well-founded, but not sure how to safely find out.

I'll report back to ER when DH and his sister decide on the process. DH is going to run all your ideas & comments past her tomorrow.

 

[Sarah S]

If she is on medicaid then probably she is entitled to keep that much money so I can see why the nursing home “ bank” won’t work. I realize she is perfectly lucid and capable mentally but she is still vulnerable to theft. At the least she must have to sleep. Can you / will you can as agent in an ongoing fashion and fund whatever it is that she plans to spend it on and “ gift” things to her? I would resent it mightily in her situation but would agree because I would worry about theft as I said

 

[rk911]

...Or buys the cards and Fed Ex to her..

this^^^. if you send cards then overnight them via ups or fedex and require signature upon delivery. usps has an option to require signatures of postal employees at every stage of the process but i prefer UPS.

 

[audreyh1]

She doesn’t want the nursing home to know about this money, but she plans to somehow use VISA gift cards there? Is she ordering stuff online? This is very confusing.

 

[ivinsfan]

She doesn’t want the nursing home to know about this money, but she plans to somehow use VISA gift cards there? Is she ordering stuff online? This is very confusing.

She's mentally sharp so can probably order things online delivered to the nursing home. Perhaps a giftcard preloaded to her Amazon account.

 

[ohyes]

Sorry about the confusion. In an effort to keep the query short and concise, I left out important information....which you guys keep catching.



SIL orders everything online and has for years. We have ordered a few items for her that she has asked for during the past few years. I am guessing she'd love to purchase some new clothes, probably gifts for her grandkids, etc.....

 

[daylatedollarshort]

If she has email, an e-gift card might be good option. Stores like Target.com have Visa e-gift cards - https://www.target.com/s?searchTerm=visa+egift+card.

Loading the money to a password protected Amazon account is also a good idea. Then she can make purchases or buy her own gift cards, email or plastic, from Amazon. They have a pretty big selection, including Visa egift cards she can send to herself.

 

[ivinsfan]

If she has email, an e-gift card might be good option. Or loading the money to a password protected Amazon account. Then she can buy her own gift cards, email or plastic, from Amazon. They have a pretty big selection.

Jinx. we cross poster but I think that's safe and easy probably the best option

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Jinx. we cross poster but I think that's safe and easy probably the best option

I changed my wording to say it was a good idea also since I saw we cross posted. Great minds think alike, eh? Or is it drink alike, I forget.

 

[Jerry1]

We need to get this taken care of ASAP. She is frustrated we did not get card in the mail to her this morning. We have no clue what we are doing.

I tend to get a little passive aggressive when people get “frustrated” with me. At this point, I’d do exactly what she wants and send her the card. My general nature would be to ask “what exactly do you want me to do” and that’s exactly what I’d do. Clear your plate of this ASAP and be done with it. Whatever happens will be the result of her directions.

 

[ivinsfan]

I changed my wording to say it was a good idea also since I saw we cross posted. Great minds think alike, eh? Or is it drink alike, I forget.

I d have a drink with you anytime

 

[ivinsfan]

Jerry I think her brother is concerned about how to safely get this to his sister That was the original question

 

[ohyes]

Thanks to each and every one of you for your responses. DH sent the cut & pasted version to his sister.

SIL decided to accept several gift cards, one at a time. Today, I had one sent from Amazon, per her request, for $500.00. All is good on that front.

The day after I posted my query, our wonderful dog was diagnosed with anal sac cancer. He had surgery yesterday. He is getting back to feeling kinda decent.

You think you have a problem and all of a sudden, you have much larger questions.



Much obliged...