Conflicted about new job offer

[Bestwifeever]

Just take the job and tell her to grow up.

Love,
Mom

 

[Texas Proud]

I recently received a job offer to start upon my completion of graduate school. The company dumped a bunch of money on my doorstep (+$100k). Pretty decent for a twenty-something, and this job doesn't have the typical downsides of most $$$ jobs (i.e. long hours, living in high cost of living area, or constant travel). The company is solid and the work is what I wanted to be doing after graduation. Seems great, no?

The problem is that the company expects you to relocate and DW doesn't want to. She has her own lucrative career and family here, and I understand that. However, the potential relocation city is within a half day's drive of our current city. So of all the places to have to move to, this is probably the best. Beyond that, I don't think there'd be any more mandatory relocation.

We haven't been married that long...how do you figure stuff like this out?

Other options: I could look for a different job with a company that might be less interesting with less $, and they could still ask me to relocate someday. I could take the job and re-evaluate things when they ask me to move (it probably wouldn't be for a few years). I could try to commute from city a to city b (drive down on monday, drive back thursday) if DW refuses to move.

You don't say how much the wife makes.... if her 'lucrative' is not near what you make... you have to take that into consideration...

I bet (like others) that it is family that is the problem, not her career...

I think that both have to do what is best for your family unit... I have a friend who just moved to Georgia because the wife got a great promotion... she has been the primary bread winner since he got oused as controller for a couple of companies.... she has been in the same company and has moved to director... so a controller job can be had anywhere...

And he has been told that he can do most of his work online... this might be the case for your wife is she is good and the company wants her...

No good ways to decide this one if both do not agree... some resentment will come out of it... do you want it or do you want her to have it....

 

[Bestwifeever]

Seriously, you are both young. For whatever reason you have spent at least the last few years going to school in the area where her family lives. If she was already in the picture when you chose that school because of its location near her family, then you have already accommodated her.

At any rate, it could be emotionally healthy for you both to live a little farther from her family for a few years. It will certainly be healthier for your career--if you turn down the offer, you could likely be seen in your profession (because people do talk within an industry) as someone who is not up to a challenge. So in thirty years you might be sorrier you chose not take this offer than she would be if you took it and you two spent a few years away from her family.

If you have kids while you are still living near her family, odds are you will never leave.

Just my 2 cents--

Love,
Mom